Categories: Family

10 Ways to Instill Godly Character in Your Children

Godly character is consistently doing the right thing at the right time in the right way for the right reason

Introduction: Respect, kindness, honesty, courage, perseverance, self-discipline, compassion, generosity, dependability. Most parents want to instill these kinds of character traits in their children. Of course, this is often easier said than done. Shaping character takes time —a scarce commodity for many parents today. Our increasingly competitive economy is creating an environment where Mom and Dad are spending longer hours at work and fewer hours with their children. As a result, outside influences such as peer pressure and the entertainment industry—Internet, television, movies, video games and music—are having a greater effect on children, shaping their perspectives more than ever before. What’s a parent to do?

Consistently model the Christian life

One of the most important things you can do is set a good example for your children. They learn from seeing how you treat them, overhearing your interactions with others, and observing what you do in different situations throughout the day. If you want your children to exhibit values like honesty, self-respect and compassion, then you need to show these qualities yourself. All the teaching in the world can be undone if your children watch you behave in ways that contradict what you’ve said. But if your actions are consistent with your words, then your message is going to be reinforced. Your children will know that what you tell them to do is vital if they see that you “practice what you preach.” Of course, every parent falls short now and then. Ask God to reveal any area of your character that needs work. Remember you are a blue print for your children to follow.

Apologize to your children when you make mistakes

When you fall short with your children, not only do you need to acknowledge your mistake, you also need to tell them you’re sorry. This shows them that you value and respect their thoughts, perspectives and feelings. You’re also modeling an important way to show respect to others, and how to accept responsibility for your mistakes. When you apologize to your children, you instill a desire in them to do the same when they make mistakes.

Utilize teachable character moments

There is nothing like real life situations that get the point across. Look for moments that you can use to teach your child good character. Almost every day something happens that can provide you with an opportunity to teach your children about values. Use these incidents as conversation starters. If they had a fight with a friend, explain the importance of forgiveness and apologizing. If your children are with you at the store and a clerk hands you a $10 bill for change when it should have been a $1 bill and you let him or her know, that’s the ideal time to discuss the value of honesty.

Encourage and compliment Christ-like character

As role models, we must make it our practice to encourage our children. It’s easy for parents to get out of balance by focusing on their failures and bad behavior. We must make it a point to acknowledge the positive things they do. When you observe your child exhibiting Christ-like character applaud them for it, let them know that you are proud of them. More importantly, let them know how pleased God is when they are obeying his Word. Thank your children when they clean their rooms without being asked or do their homework without grumbling. Point out specific actions your child did that were good so they know exactly what behaviors they should keep doing. “It was nice to see you talking so politely with Mrs. Smith at church,” communicates more about what they did right than simply saying, “You were a good boy at church today.” Sincere praise goes a long way in reinforcing positive behaviors.

Hold your child accountable for mistakes

One of the worst things we can do as a parent is to ignore bad behavior. By not holding them accountable, we tacitly condone their actions, which contributes to weak character. Correct them with love and wisdom rather than harsh criticism. Address the situation and tell them why you do not agree with their actions, and make it clear that it won’t be tolerated. Set the rules and enforce them. Resist the temptation to rush in and “make things better” for your child. If you rescue your children when they make a mistake, they will learn not to take responsibility for their actions. They need to know that bad choices result in negative consequences.

Share your personal experiences

Most of us can look back at our past and think of a lot of experiences that taught us some valuable lessons. Be willing to share some of those stories with your children, especially those that illustrate how you made choices that were consistent with good values. You might tell of a time when you stood up for your convictions rather than going along with the crowd, befriended a classmate at school that everyone else was teasing, turned in a lost wallet rather than keeping the money for yourself, or worked really hard to achieve a particular goal. When you tell each story, describe why it was such a moral dilemma, how you came to make the decision you did, and how everything turned out. You may also want to share some stories where you made bad choices and had to learn some lessons the hard way. This is especially effective with older children, who may very well be facing similar moral struggles. Try to help them learn from your mistakes so that they don’t have to suffer the same consequences you did.

Monitor television viewing and Internet use

When it comes to building godly character you must minimize their exposure to ungodly values and behavior. Although we can’t shelter our children from everything, we can limit their exposure to TV and the Internet. Consider putting computers and televisions only in areas of your home where the whole family gets together. Consider “co-viewing” TV as a family. If bad values are being promoted, offer your comments and turn the channel. This can be a very effective way to filter what kind of values your kids are being exposed to. After you’ve watched a TV program, talk to your children about what you just saw. Were there any moral lessons to be learned? What kind of character qualities or weaknesses did these people have? Did the characters’ actions reflect good values?

Involve your children in encouraging and helping others

Encourage your children to help others whenever they can. It’s amazing how helpful they can be to others just through simple acts of kindness, such as making get-well cards for people who are sick, befriending shy or new kids at school, opening the grocery store door for a mom pushing a stroller or making small talk with the elderly lady sitting by herself at the park. Be on the lookout for people who might need help and lead your kids to reach out to them. You might also want to get your children involved in a more formal type of service project. That might include visiting nursing homes, helping the local food bank or getting involved in a community service organization. This is not only a great way to serve others, but your children will have the opportunity to develop and practice virtues such as generosity, kindness, compassion and respect.

Consistently read the Bible with your children

Plan Bible studies with your children that explore different moral virtues. You might do a study one week on honesty or gratitude, and then the next week on compassion, gentleness or generosity. Help your kids see that what you’re teaching them about right and wrong values is not simply your own ideas, but come from God’s Word. You may want to focus on different Bible figures. Consider Joseph (Genesis 37-50) for lessons on honesty, courage, kindness and unselfishness. Read about Ruth’s loyalty and dependability towards Naomi, and the generosity and kindness of Boaz towards Ruth. The story of Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1-11) is a sobering springboard for a discussion about honesty, and the story of the Philippian jailer (Acts 16:16-34) can teach some valuable lessons on self-control, dependability and justice. When you finish reading a Bible passage, talk with your children about specific values being taught by the story. Ask your children what lesson they think can be gleaned from the story. See if they observe principles that can be applied to their lives.

Consistently pray with your children

If you observe that your child is struggling with a character flaw, take a moment to pray with them. If they are having a hard time being patient, discuss the issues they are facing, and pray together for God’s help in that area of their character.

Conclusion: God wants us to be faithful followers and possess good character. He gives us our children as gifts. It is our responsibility to teach them his principles and virtues. The world is tough, but if we can give them a good foundation at home then they will be well equipped to face the obstacles that lie on the unforeseen path ahead.