As a Christian, showing love and respect to your spouse is not just a nice idea, it’s a biblical command. The apostle Paul instructs husbands to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. And wives are commanded to respect their husbands. Love and respect are the foundation of a strong, healthy marriage. When you choose to love and respect your spouse, even when it’s difficult, you are honoring God and building a marriage that will last. Here are some practical ways to show love and respect in your Christian marriage:
Speak Words of Affirmation and Encouragement
One of the most powerful ways to love and respect your spouse is through your words. Ephesians 4:29 instructs us to “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. “Make it a habit to regularly affirm your spouse and build them up with your words. Recognize their accomplishments, praise their character, and express your gratitude for them. Speak kindly and avoid criticism, sarcasm or put-downs. Your words have the power to build your spouse up or tear them down, so choose them wisely.
Serve Your Spouse Sacrificially
Love is not just a feeling, it’s an action. Jesus modeled sacrificial love when he gave up his life for us. As husbands, we are called to love our wives in the same way, putting their needs before our own. Look for practical ways to serve your spouse each day. Help with household chores, run errands, or take something off their to-do list. Offer to watch the kids so they can have some alone time. Surprise them by doing a task they normally do. When you serve your spouse selflessly, you are loving them well and honoring God.
Resolve Conflicts with Grace and Humility
Conflict is inevitable in marriage, but how you handle it makes all the difference. Ephesians 4:2 tells us to walk in humility and gentleness, bearing with one another in love. When you face disagreements, approach them with grace, not aggression. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and avoid blaming or criticizing your spouse. Be quick to apologize and forgive. Remember that you are on the same team, working together to find a solution. Pray together and ask God to give you wisdom and unity.
Prioritize Physical and Emotional Intimacy
God designed sex and physical intimacy to be a beautiful, God-honoring part of marriage. Husbands and wives are called to meet each other’s sexual needs and not deprive one another. But intimacy goes beyond just physical connection. Emotional intimacy is also crucial for a thriving marriage. Make time for physical affection and sex, even when life gets busy. Cuddle, hold hands, and express physical love. But also prioritize emotional intimacy. Share your hopes, fears and dreams with each other. Be vulnerable and transparent. Spend quality time together, free from distractions. Nurture emotional closeness through deep conversation, laughter and shared experiences.
Pray for and with Your Spouse
Prayer is one of the most powerful tools you have to love and support your spouse. Pray for them daily, lifting their needs, struggles and dreams to God. Ask God to bless them, protect them, and help them grow in their faith. Pray for your marriage, that God would strengthen your bond and help you honor him together. Pray with your spouse too. Make it a habit to pray together regularly, whether it’s a quick prayer before a meal or a longer time of devotion and intercession. Pray for each other, your family, and your marriage. Pray for God’s will to be done in your lives. Praying together builds unity and draws you closer to each other and to God.
Respect Your Spouse’s Differences
Your spouse is a unique individual, created by God with their own personality, gifts, and perspective. Respect and appreciate the ways they are different from you. Avoid trying to change them or make them more like you. Instead, celebrate their uniqueness and the ways they complement you. Philippians 2:3 tells us to “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Humble yourself and put your spouse’s needs and desires before your own. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Seek to understand your spouse’s point of view, even when you disagree. Respect their God-given role and the ways they contribute to your marriage and family.
Pursue Your Spouse’s Heart
When you got married, you made a covenant commitment to love your spouse for a lifetime. Don’t let that commitment waver when the feelings fade, or life gets hard. Choose to love your spouse, even in those moments when you struggle to like them. Pursue their heart daily through acts of love and respect. Proverbs 4:23 warns us to “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Guard your heart against bitterness, resentment or wandering affections. Be intentional about nurturing your love. Go on dates, try new things together, and make memories. Express your love through words and actions. Protect your marriage by avoiding situations that could lead to unfaithfulness. Pursue your spouse’s heart with the same passion you had when you first fell in love.
Rely on God’s Grace and Power
Loving and respecting your spouse in this way is not easy. It requires humility, sacrifice and a daily reliance on God’s grace. Thankfully, we don’t have to love our spouse perfectly. We just need to be willing to try, and trust God to fill in the gaps. When you mess up, admit it and ask for forgiveness. When you feel weak, lean on God’s strength. When you’re tempted to be selfish or critical, ask the Holy Spirit to help you respond with love. Rely on God’s Word to guide you and His Spirit to empower you. With God’s help, you can love and respect your spouse in a way that honors Him and strengthens your marriage. Loving and respecting your spouse is not always easy, but it is always worth it. When you choose to love and respect your spouse, even when it’s difficult, you are honoring God and building a marriage that will last. Speak words of affirmation, serve sacrificially, resolve conflicts with grace, prioritize intimacy, pray together, respect differences, and pursue each other’s hearts. Rely on God’s grace and power to help you love your spouse well. As you do, you will experience the joy and fulfillment of a thriving Christian marriage.