Blending families is a journey filled with both blessings and challenges. Each member brings their own history, expectations, and emotions, which can create both opportunities for growth and areas of tension. Blended families often face unique issues such as unclear roles, discipline differences, loyalty conflicts, communication breakdowns, and adjustment difficulties for both children and adults. This assessment is designed to help blended families, counselors, and therapists identify strengths and areas needing attention. By honestly responding to each item, families can gain insight into their current dynamics and take steps toward greater harmony, understanding, and biblical unity.

Instructions:
For each statement, rate how true it is for your family using the following scale:
1 = Never true
2 = Rarely true
3 = Sometimes true
4 = Often true
5 = Always true

Assessment Items

  1. Family members communicate openly and honestly with each other.

  2. Everyone feels comfortable expressing their feelings, even difficult ones.

  3. Biological parents and stepparents present a united front on discipline.

  4. Children feel accepted and valued by their stepparent(s).

  5. Sibling and stepsibling relationships are generally positive.

  6. Family members respect each other’s differences in background, culture, or faith.

  7. There is clarity about each adult’s role in parenting and household responsibilities.

  8. Conflicts are addressed respectfully and resolved constructively.

  9. Children feel safe discussing their concerns about the blended family.

  10. The family regularly spends quality time together.

  11. Each child’s relationship with their biological parent is supported and encouraged.

  12. Stepparents avoid trying to replace the biological parent.

  13. Family rules and expectations are clear and consistent for all children.

  14. Members are able to forgive and move past hurts or misunderstandings.

  15. The couple maintains a strong, supportive relationship despite family stress.

  16. Co-parenting relationships with ex-partners are handled respectfully.

  17. Financial responsibilities and expectations are clearly discussed and agreed upon.

  18. Children are adjusting well to changes in living arrangements or routines.

  19. Family members pray together or share spiritual practices.

  20. Each person feels heard and understood in family discussions.

  21. The family celebrates milestones and achievements together.

  22. There is a sense of loyalty and belonging among all family members.

  23. Adults model healthy conflict resolution for the children.

  24. Children are not pressured to choose sides between parents or stepparents.

  25. The family seeks outside help (counseling, pastoral support) when needed.

  26. Stepchildren and stepparents have opportunities to bond one-on-one.

  27. The family has discussed and planned for legal or custody issues.

  28. Members are patient with the blending process and each other’s adjustment.

  29. The couple regularly checks in with each other about family dynamics.

  30. The family is able to find joy and gratitude in their unique journey.

  31. Family traditions from both original families are respected and sometimes blended.

  32. Children’s relationships with extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles) are supported.

  33. Stepparents feel respected and included in family decisions.

  34. The family has a shared vision or set of values guiding their life together.

  35. Members are able to talk about past family experiences without blame or resentment.

  36. The couple makes time for their marriage apart from parenting responsibilities.

  37. Children’s academic, emotional, and spiritual needs are monitored and supported.

  38. The family is able to adapt to unexpected changes or challenges.

  39. Each member feels they have a meaningful role in the family.

  40. The family regularly expresses appreciation and encouragement to one another.

Scoring Key

  • Add up your total score (maximum possible: 200).

  • Higher scores indicate greater family cohesion, clarity, and adjustment.

Interpretation:

  • 160–200: Strongly functioning blended family. You are navigating challenges well and building a healthy, unified home.

  • 120–159: Moderately functioning. There are strengths, but also areas needing attention. Consider targeted discussions or counseling.

  • 80–119: Struggling. Significant challenges are present. Family counseling or pastoral support is strongly recommended.

  • Below 80: High risk for ongoing conflict and distress. Seek professional help to address core issues and promote healing.

Note:
No assessment can capture every nuance of your family’s experience. Use this tool as a starting point for honest conversation, prayer, and seeking God’s wisdom as you build your blended family on a foundation of grace, truth, and love.