A healthy and lasting marriage is built on a foundation of shared values. While differences can enrich a relationship, alignment in core beliefs and priorities often leads to greater intimacy, understanding, and peace. This assessment is designed to help you and your spouse (or fiancé) reflect on your values in important areas of life, including faith, family, finances, and more.

As you answer each statement, be honest and thoughtful. Discuss your responses together, using the results as a springboard for deeper conversation, prayer, and growth. Remember, the goal is not perfect agreement, but greater understanding and unity.

Instructions:
For each statement, rate how much you agree with your partner on a scale of 1 to 5:

  • 1 = Strongly Disagree

  • 2 = Disagree

  • 3 = Unsure/Neutral

  • 4 = Agree

  • 5 = Strongly Agree

Write down your score for each item, then total your scores at the end.

The Assessment

  1. We agree on the importance of our Christian faith as the foundation of our lives.

  2. We share similar beliefs about the authority and relevance of Scripture.

  3. We both prioritize regular prayer and spiritual growth.

  4. We agree on the importance of attending church and being involved in a faith community.

  5. We have similar views about raising children in the Christian faith.

  6. We agree on how to handle finances, including budgeting, saving, and giving.

  7. We share similar attitudes about debt and financial responsibility.

  8. We agree on the importance of honesty and transparency in our relationship.

  9. We both value open and respectful communication.

  10. We agree on how to resolve conflicts in a healthy, biblical manner.

  11. We share similar expectations about sexual intimacy and faithfulness.

  12. We agree on the importance of forgiveness and grace in our marriage.

  13. We have similar views on the role of husband and wife in marriage.

  14. We agree on how to balance work, family, and personal time.

  15. We share similar goals and dreams for our future together.

  16. We agree on how to spend leisure time and what activities we enjoy.

  17. We both value maintaining healthy relationships with extended family.

  18. We agree on how to handle in-law relationships and set boundaries.

  19. We have similar views on parenting styles and discipline.

  20. We agree on the importance of serving others and being generous.

  21. We share similar beliefs about the sanctity of life and moral issues.

  22. We agree on how to handle major life decisions (e.g., moving, career changes).

  23. We both value personal growth and lifelong learning.

  24. We agree on the importance of physical health and self-care.

  25. We share similar attitudes about hospitality and welcoming others into our home.

  26. We agree on the importance of mutual respect and valuing each other’s opinions.

  27. We both value accountability and being open to wise counsel.

  28. We agree on the importance of expressing love and appreciation regularly.

  29. We share similar beliefs about the purpose and meaning of marriage.

  30. We agree on the importance of seeking God’s will together in all areas of life.

Scoring Key

  • 120–150:
    You and your partner share a strong foundation of common values. Celebrate your unity and continue to nurture these shared beliefs!

  • 90–119:
    You have many shared values, but there may be some areas to discuss and strengthen. Use your results to guide meaningful conversations and prayer together.

  • 60–89:
    There are several areas where your values may differ. Take time to explore these differences, seeking understanding and biblical guidance as you work toward greater unity.

  • 30–59:
    Significant differences exist in your core values. Consider seeking counsel from a trusted Christian counselor or mentor to help you navigate these important conversations and build a stronger foundation.

Note:
This assessment is a tool for reflection and discussion, not a definitive measure of your relationship’s health. Use it as a starting point for honest dialogue, mutual growth, and prayerful pursuit of unity in Christ.