Social media is everywhere. It’s in our pockets, on our nightstands, and—let’s be honest—sometimes it’s the third wheel at the dinner table. For married couples, especially those who want to honor Christ in their relationship, social media can be both a blessing and a battlefield. It can connect us with friends and family, encourage us with stories of faith, and even help us share our own journey. But it can also breed jealousy, distraction, and even unfaithfulness if we’re not careful.

So, how do we navigate this digital world without letting it wreck our marriages? Let’s talk about some practical, biblical social media rules for marriage—rules that aren’t about legalism, but about love, trust, and wisdom.

1. Keep Your Marriage Front and Center

First things first: your marriage should be obvious and celebrated, both offline and online. If you’re married, your social media should show it. That means your relationship status is clear, your spouse shows up in your photos, and you’re not hiding your ring finger in every selfie. If you’re not willing to be “Facebook official,” ask yourself why. Hiding your marriage online is a red flag—like taking off your wedding ring at a party. God calls us to honor our spouse and be “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), not to create secret online lives.

2. Share Passwords and Keep No Secrets

Transparency is a huge trust-builder. Many Christian couples choose to share their social media passwords with each other, not because they don’t trust each other, but because they value accountability. If you’re nervous about your spouse seeing your messages or friend list, that’s a sign to check your heart. All messages, groups, and posts should be open to your spouse. Secrets—especially online—are fertile ground for temptation and misunderstanding. As Ephesians 4:25 says, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”

3. Set Boundaries with Opposite-Sex Friends

This one can get tricky, but it’s essential. Social media makes it easy to reconnect with old flames or strike up friendships with people of the opposite sex. What starts as an innocent “Hey, how have you been?” can quickly slide into emotional intimacy that doesn’t belong outside your marriage. It’s wise to avoid private messaging with old boyfriends or girlfriends, or anyone who could become a stumbling block. If you wouldn’t have the conversation with your spouse sitting next to you—or with Jesus in the room—it’s probably not wise to have it online.

Some couples even agree to unfriend or block certain people, especially if those connections have a history or make one spouse uncomfortable. This isn’t about control; it’s about protecting your marriage and respecting each other’s feelings.

4. Don’t Air Your Dirty Laundry Online

Social media is not the place to vent about your spouse or your marriage. Posting cryptic statuses, sharing private arguments, or seeking sympathy from online friends can damage trust and invite gossip. If you’re upset, talk to your spouse face-to-face or seek wise, godly counsel offline. Proverbs 17:9 says, “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” The same goes for marriage—protect your spouse’s reputation and your relationship’s privacy.

5. Avoid Fighting or Confronting Each Other via Text or Social Media

Texting and online messages are notorious for miscommunication. Tone gets lost, emojis don’t always help, and what you meant as a joke can sound like an attack. If you need to have a serious conversation, do it in person or at least over the phone. Agree as a couple: no fighting or hashing out big issues over text or social media. Your marriage deserves real, face-to-face communication.

6. Set Limits on Screen Time

It’s easy to get sucked into the scroll. Before you know it, you’ve spent an hour on Instagram and barely said two words to your spouse. Excessive device use can lead to isolation, decreased marital satisfaction, and even resentment. Make a habit of putting your phone away during meals, date nights, or when you’re spending time together. Consider setting daily or weekly limits on social media use, and stick to them. Remember, your spouse is more important than your followers or your feed.

7. Agree on What’s Private and What’s Public

Every couple is different. Some love sharing cute couple photos; others prefer to keep things low-key. The key is to talk about it. Decide together what you’re comfortable sharing about your relationship, your kids, and your family life. Respect each other’s privacy preferences. If your spouse doesn’t want a certain photo or story online, honor that. Philippians 2:4 reminds us, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

8. Be Careful Who You Follow

Social media algorithms are designed to keep you scrolling, often by showing you content that’s tempting or controversial. If you’re following accounts that make you compare your marriage, foster jealousy, or stir up discontent, it’s time to unfollow or block them. The same goes for any account that doesn’t honor your spouse or your faith. Protect your heart and your marriage by curating your feed with wisdom.

9. Use Social Media to Build Up, Not Tear Down

Social media isn’t all bad. It can be a tool for encouragement, gratitude, and connection. Use it to publicly affirm your spouse, share what you appreciate about them, or celebrate milestones together1. If your spouse’s love language is words of affirmation, a heartfelt post can make their day. Just make sure your online praise matches your real-life actions—don’t be all smiles online and cold at home.

10. Have Regular Check-Ins About Social Media

Don’t assume you’re on the same page—talk about it. Make it a habit to check in with each other about your social media use, boundaries, and any concerns that come up. Be honest about temptations, struggles, or things that make you uncomfortable. Pray together for wisdom and protection. Remember, the enemy would love to use something as simple as a phone screen to drive a wedge between you. Stay vigilant, stay humble, and stay connected.

A Biblical Perspective on Social Media and Marriage

At the end of the day, social media is a tool. Like any tool, it can build up or tear down, depending on how we use it. As Christians, our goal is to honor God and our spouse in all things—including our online lives. Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:12 are a good filter: “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything.” Ask yourself: Is social media helping my marriage, or hurting it? Am I in control, or is it controlling me?

Marriage is a covenant, a sacred promise before God. It’s meant to reflect the love Christ has for His church—faithful, sacrificial, and enduring. Social media can never replace real-life connection, intimacy, and commitment. Don’t let it become a substitute for the face-to-face, heart-to-heart relationship God designed for you and your spouse.

In Summary: Social Media Rules for Marriage

  • Make your marriage visible and celebrated online.

  • Share passwords and keep no secrets.

  • Set boundaries with opposite-sex friends.

  • Don’t fight or air grievances online.

  • Limit screen time and prioritize each other.

  • Agree on what’s private and public.

  • Be careful who you follow.

  • Use social media to build up your spouse.

  • Have regular check-ins and pray together.

Above all, remember that your marriage is worth protecting—online and off. Social media is a part of our world, but it doesn’t have to rule our relationships. With wisdom, honesty, and a Christ-centered focus, you can use social media in a way that strengthens your marriage and brings glory to God.