If you’ve spent any time on dating apps, online forums, or social media, you’ve probably heard someone talk about “Chasing Chad.” This phrase has seeped into today’s dating culture as a tongue-in-cheek way of describing women who focus their romantic efforts on a specific type of man: the “Chad.” But what exactly does this mean?

In internet slang, a “Chad” is the quintessential alpha male—physically attractive, confident, charismatic, and highly desirable. He stands out in the crowd. Whether on Tinder, at the gym, or in the local coffee shop, he’s the guy who always gets a second look. Chads seemingly glide through dating life, drawing in attention with little effort and never lacking for options. In essence, “Chasing Chad” means women are prioritizing these “top 10%” men, often judged by their looks, confidence, and social dominance, while average guys can get left on the sidelines.

The Origins of the Chad Stereotype

The “Chad” phenomenon isn’t just random internet nonsense. For years, online communities—everything from dating advice subreddits to “manosphere” forums—have used Chad as a shorthand for the most desirable men in the dating market. Sometimes it’s used as a compliment; other times as a critique, often by men who feel overlooked by women chasing after the so-called elite.

Drawings and memes of the “Chad” usually show an exaggerated, muscle-bound, self-assured man who embodies every classic attribute of masculine attraction. His female counterpart, for what it’s worth, is sometimes dubbed a “Stacy”—the image of the model-beautiful woman who effortlessly attracts male attention.

Why Are Women Chasing Chads?

Women are drawn to Chads for a range of reasons—some understandable, some more problematic. These men exude confidence, embody desirability, and, frankly, set off a lot of those initial “sparks” that dating apps and movies have trained us to look for.

There’s an element of natural attraction at play—women often want to match with someone they find genuinely appealing both physically and socially. Cultural influences add to the allure: romantic comedies, reality TV, and social media influencers reinforce the idea that a captivating, high-status man is the ultimate relationship prize.

But chasing Chad isn’t just about looks. Many women hope these men will translate their social confidence into leadership, ambition, or success. There’s a desire to be chosen by the man everyone notices—to win his attention over all the competition. Who wouldn’t want that fairy tale?

The Dating App Dilemma

The rise of dating apps has intensified the “Chasing Chad” phenomenon. Data from major platforms suggests that a small percentage of men—those considered most conventionally attractive—get the vast majority of female attention and matches. These digital platforms encourage “shopping” for partners, and users often filter for visual appeal and surface traits first. In this swiping culture, Chads get inundated with likes and messages, making them even more selective and more likely to treat dating as a numbers game.

The result? Many women—often without even realizing it—end up focusing their efforts on the same small group of men, sometimes at the expense of noticing great, but less obvious, suitors in their circles.

The Illusion of Endless Options

One of the biggest traps in chasing Chad is the “illusion of endless options.” Because Chads receive so much attention, they rarely feel the need to commit. With constant social validation, there’s little incentive for these men to settle down. For women, this often leads to a discouraging cycle of connection, hope, and disappointment. The “Chad” will seem charming and interested at first, then suddenly ghost or reveal he “isn’t ready for a relationship.” These patterns have become so common that they’ve turned into dating horror stories and memes in their own right.

The Emotional Toll of Chasing Chad

Pursuing the top-tier man might feel like an exciting challenge, but it often ends with heartbreak. Since these men have so many options, they might not invest deeply, may become emotionally unavailable, or could simply aim for casual flings over commitment. For women genuinely seeking a real relationship, this “chase” regularly turns into a pattern of letdowns.

On top of that, constantly measuring your worth by whether you can “land” a Chad can damage self-esteem and shift your standards in unhealthy directions. As one observer put it, “We claim we want love, but we aren’t willing to time it right and then nurture it enough to have it actually grow.” The desire for “the best” can end up leaving people stuck with the bare minimum, or endlessly chasing short-term thrills but missing out on deeper love.

Social Critique and the “Manosphere”

It’s important to point out that the phrase “Chasing Chad” is often weaponized in online circles that breed resentment between men and women. Within certain corners of the internet, some argue that women always “overlook” decent, average guys in favor of the Chads, fueling bitterness and division. But this narrative is an oversimplification and doesn’t reflect everyone’s reality. People, both men and women, have diverse preferences, temperaments, and desires. Not all women want the so-called Chad—and many are looking for far more meaningful qualities in a partner than just “alpha” looks or charm.

A Christian Perspective: Beyond the Surface

For those who follow Christ, chasing Chad—or anyone purely for their looks, status, or charm—runs contrary to the heart of biblical romance. God’s word calls us to look deeper than the world’s standards. While physical attraction is important, it’s not the foundation for a life-giving relationship. Scripture puts lasting value on character, faith, kindness, and a servant’s heart. First Samuel 16:7 reminds us that “the Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Christian teaching urges men and women alike to seek partners who love the Lord, walk in humility, and value mutual respect and sacrifice. Steadfastness, integrity, and genuine love far outweigh surface-level appeal. The Bible also warns against being “unequally yoked”—reminding us to pursue spiritual compatibility over temporary excitement.

Rethinking Our Priorities in Dating

What happens when we stop idolizing the Chads? Dating becomes less about chasing adrenaline and more about building real connection. When the quest for surface qualities takes center stage, there’s a real risk of missing those who would make truly great husbands—men who may not be the loudest or flashiest, but are kind, faithful, resilient, and committed.

The healthiest relationships are built not just on attraction, but on character, spiritual unity, and shared purpose. As believers, we’re called to pursue what is lasting, not just what is impressive in the moment.

The Challenge—and Gift—of Healthy Discernment

Let’s be honest: it’s not wrong to be attracted to confidence or admire success. God gave us the ability to appreciate beauty and strength. The problem comes when these become our only criteria, or when we chase after what the world celebrates instead of seeking God’s heart for our relationships.

Discernment is a spiritual gift. It means evaluating suitors by their walk with Christ, their integrity, their treatment of others, and their commitment to healthy love—not just their charisma or popularity. It also means trusting God’s timing rather than frantically chasing after the most “desirable” option.

Advice for Dating in a “Chad” Culture

  • Pray for wisdom and clarity: Ask God to help you see people—yourself included—as He sees them.

  • Look for character: Prioritize honesty, humility, and a heart for service.

  • Don’t ignore red flags, even if someone is attractive or exciting.

  • Value emotional availability and spiritual maturity over surface charm.

  • Keep your heart open, but your standards rooted in what God values.

In today’s dating world, the temptation to chase after the Chad is real. But the thrill of pursuing the most desirable on paper often overshadows the search for what endures. For Christians and anyone seeking lasting love, it’s essential to remember: real joy comes from aligning our hearts with God’s wisdom. In the end, it’s not about dating the “most wanted,” but finding someone worth wanting—a partner who can uplift, challenge, and love you in Christ for a lifetime.