It’s no secret that our culture is confused about what it really means to be a man. Too often, boys are growing up surrounded by mixed signals, unrealistic expectations, and sometimes even complete neglect of biblical masculinity. Many boys spend their days in school environments that often value passivity or comfort above courage and strength. Others grow up in homes without a strong, loving father or any male mentors at all. In a world that’s constantly trying to redefine manhood—or erase it altogether—it’s more important than ever for Christian families to be intentional about raising up real men: young men who know their identity in Christ, who walk in strength and humility, and who are prepared to serve, protect, and lead as Jesus did.
Core Foundations
Identity in Christ
Before boys can become godly men, they need to know who they are—and whose they are. True masculinity is less about outward displays of power and more about inner strength, rooted in a relationship with Jesus. The world’s definition of manhood might focus on achievements, success, or toughness, but Scripture points to a deeper foundation. Christ was both strong and gentle, courageous and humble. He didn’t just flex His authority—He served, sacrificed, and loved. Boys need to hear, early and often, that their value isn’t based on their ability to live up to some cultural ideal, but is firmly set in who God says they are. Teaching boys to look to Jesus as the model for true masculinity sets a clear standard: the manliest man who ever lived was also the One who washed feet, wept with friends, stood for truth, and laid down His life for others.
Vision for Manhood
Raising boys to become godly men requires that we give them a compelling vision of adulthood. Many boys flounder not because they want to, but because no one has shown them what real manhood looks like. From Ephesians 5 and Mark 10, we learn that biblical manhood is defined by servant leadership, courage, responsibility, and sacrificial love. God’s Word calls men to reject passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageously, and invest eternally. Boys must see that being a man isn’t about dominance or bravado. It’s about laying down your life (figuratively and sometimes literally) for the good of others—starting right at home, and then extending to church, work, and community. Our sons should know that God created men to be both warriors and nurturers, builders and worshipers, truth-tellers and encouragers.
Key Biblical Principles
Discipleship and Mentoring
No boy becomes a man on his own. It takes spiritual training, prayer, and—ideally—a team of godly men willing to walk with him through life. Fathers have a unique and biblically appointed role here, but when a dad isn’t available or is disengaged, the church must step in. Godly grandfathers, uncles, youth group leaders, or Christian coaches can fill critical gaps. Boys benefit greatly from seeing strong men pray, serve, repent, and work with humility and honor. Spiritual mentoring isn’t about creating clones, but about pointing boys back to Christ, challenging them to grow, pushing them beyond their comfort zones, and reminding them of grace when they fall short.
Discipline and Responsibility
Boys thrive when they know where the boundaries are. Clear, firm, and loving discipline gives a child the security he craves and fosters maturity. As boys grow older, increasing responsibility is essential. Let them feel the weight of chores, teamwork, and problem-solving, fitting their age and abilities. They need to learn through experience that actions have consequences, both good and bad. Consistent discipline, mixed with encouragement and praise, teaches self-control, resilience, and accountability. The goal is not compliance for its own sake—but formation of character strong enough to stand amidst life’s storms.
Servant Leadership
Too many boys hear the message that leadership is about getting your own way, or dominating others. In contrast, Jesus declared, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.” Servant leadership begins in the home: helping with chores, watching over younger siblings, treating mom and sisters with honor, taking responsibility for mistakes, and defending those who cannot protect themselves. A true leader is quick to lift others up, not just assert authority. Boys need to see this modeled by the men around them and encouraged in their own actions. It’s a lesson that grows with time but starts with small acts of service, accountability, and respect.
Practical Steps
Model Biblical Masculinity
Perhaps the most powerful tool in raising boys is letting them observe real men living out their faith in practical ways. Let them see men praying in earnest, serving the church and their neighbors, honoring their wives, keeping their word, and repenting when they fail. Boys need to observe that strength and meekness can co-exist, that men can be tough and tender at the same time. When mistakes happen, model humility and seek forgiveness—kids are always watching, and those moments can have a bigger impact than a thousand words.
Teach Respect and Chivalry
Raising boys to be men means teaching them to treat others—especially women—with honor and dignity. In a world that often devalues or distorts manhood, boys should learn to respect their elders, open doors, protect the vulnerable, and use their words to heal, not to hurt. Encouraging respectful speech, self-control, and a willingness to stand up for what’s right is essential. Chivalry isn’t about outdated customs; it’s about an attitude of honor that flows from a Christlike love for others and a commitment to do what is right, even when it’s hard.
Adventurous Engagement
Boys have energy to burn and a drive for adventure that shouldn’t be ignored. Get involved in their world: play with them, challenge them, and encourage healthy risk-taking. Whether it’s climbing trees, fixing things, or going on hikes, sharing adventures builds memories and confidence. These experiences forge courage, perseverance, and a sense of accomplishment that translates well to all areas of life. It’s also a great way to have deeper conversations about faith, manhood, and life’s big questions when you’re “shoulder to shoulder” instead of just “face to face.”
Biblical Wisdom in Real Life
Don’t wait for a crisis to impart wisdom. Use the ordinary daily moments—mealtimes, car rides, errands—to talk about God’s Word, share stories, and discuss what’s on their hearts. Invite boys into the process of making decisions, solving problems, and setting priorities. Encourage questions and honest dialogue. Teach them to turn to Scripture with their struggles, and to pray through their fears and challenges. Building a home culture where biblical wisdom is woven into everyday life helps guide boys through the noisy confusion of the world toward clarity and confidence in Christ.
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
It’s tempting to try to mold boys with nothing but a strict set of rules or severe discipline. But rules alone can harden hearts if they aren’t matched with love, grace, and relationship. What wins a young man’s heart is not control, but a genuine, loving relationship with parents who reflect Christ’s compassion and faithfulness. On the flip side, if masculinity is minimized or left undefined, boys can drift toward apathy or, worse, aggression and rebellion. Intentional discipleship—meaning hands-on teaching, encouragement, correction, and support—keeps boys tethered to truth and prevents extremes. The aim is to grow men who are neither tyrants nor pushovers, but Christlike servants and leaders.
The Role of Mothers and Women
Even in homes led by single mothers, or in environments where positive male role models are scarce, boys can still be challenged to become godly men. Women play a vital role in this process. By expecting strength, responsibility, and respect from their sons, and by connecting them with godly men in the church, mothers help fill the gap. A mother who encourages her son to be honest, sacrificial, respectful, and protective helps him step into his biblical calling. She can also teach him to appreciate and honor femininity, cultivating a heart that is both strong and gentle.
Scriptural Anchors
Scripture lays the groundwork for everything discussed here. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” God promises that faithful teaching, modeled at home, will leave a permanent mark. Ephesians 6:4 calls fathers to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This is not a passing suggestion, but a solemn charge. Grounded in God’s Word, guided by the Holy Spirit, families have what they need to raise the next generation of godly men.
A Call to Action
Raising men isn’t just a cultural project—it’s a spiritual mission. The future of the family, the church, and society depends on what kind of men we raise today. Boys are watching, listening, and learning—from fathers, mothers, pastors, coaches, and mentors. They need encouragement to risk, to serve, to stand for what’s true. They need the freedom to fail, the grace to grow, and the challenge to act like men—not just males.
So let’s be intentional. Let’s push back against culture’s confusion with the clarity of God’s design. Let’s raise up a generation of men who are confident in their identity as sons of the King, courageous in the face of difficulty, and loving in their leadership. Let’s show the world what it looks like to be strong, godly men—men who look like Jesus.
That’s the kind of manhood this world desperately needs, and the journey starts at home, today.