Try spending any time in today’s public conversation about relationships and you’ll hear the phrase “love is love.” It’s pithy, catchy, and has become a moral shield for nearly every type of romantic relationship, especially those within the LGBTQ+ community. At first glance, it sounds reasonable—who could possibly be against love? But for evangelical Christians, this popular slogan raises important, and sometimes uncomfortable, questions. Is every romantic relationship, just because it’s built on affection and consent, legitimate in God’s eyes? Is the legitimacy of an action ever determined solely by the sincerity of the emotion behind it, or does God’s truth provide necessary boundaries? Let’s unpack why the philosophy “love is love” is misleading, particularly when used to legitimize a homosexual lifestyle, and what a Christ-centered perspective has to say about the real meaning of love.
What Does “Love is Love” Mean?
On the surface, “love is love” is about equality—saying that all love between consenting adults is equally valid, valuable, and deserving of societal acceptance. This idea has become the rallying cry for those championing same-sex marriage and broader LGBTQ+ rights. By framing love as a universal, unifying human experience, the phrase reduces romantic love to a feeling or a mutual bond that’s inherently good, regardless of the genders involved. The hope is to challenge laws, traditions, and moral codes viewed as exclusionary or discriminatory, and instead persuade society to recognize and celebrate same-sex relationships on par with heterosexual ones.
While empathy and respect should certainly characterize the way Christians treat everyone, many believers find themselves at odds with “love is love” because it sets emotion and personal sincerity as the highest measure of morality, sidestepping biblical standards entirely.
Is Love Its Own Standard?
One major issue with “love is love” is that it effectively treats love as self-defining and self-validating. In other words, if the feeling is genuine and mutual, it can’t be wrong. But biblical love has a very different anchor: “God is love” (1 John 4:8), and only God gets to set the standard for what love means and how it should be expressed. The Bible teaches that real love isn’t defined by intensity, consent, or even mutuality, but by alignment with God’s will and truth. Romans 13:10 reminds us, “Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” Love fulfills God’s commandments—it is inseparable from truth, holiness, and the moral reality of God’s design.
When the world says “love is love,” the implication is that love, by itself, can transform anything it touches into goodness. Scripture, however, teaches that love must be attached to that which is true, holy, and good. If the object of love is contrary to God’s commands, “love” becomes twisted—no matter how sincere, sacrificial, or socially celebrated. The Bible is full of stories where people felt deep affection, but their relationships were sinful (think King David’s affair with Bathsheba, or the relationships condemned in Romans 1). Human love, apart from God’s truth, is not always good, nor is it always safe.
Feelings vs. Truth: Why Sincerity Isn’t Enough
The heart can be deceptive, and feelings—no matter how intense—are not infallible guides to what is right or best. The philosophy “love is love” elevates human desire above the boundaries God set for our good. Evangelicals believe those boundaries (especially regarding sexuality and marriage) are clear: sexual intimacy is reserved for the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4–6; Romans 1:26–27). When love is untethered from truth, it can actually encourage harm and endorse what God calls sin.
This isn’t about denying the existence of love in same-sex relationships; it’s about discerning whether that love is being expressed according to God’s design. God’s commands aren’t arbitrary—they’re rooted in His character and are meant to steer us toward human flourishing and spiritual life. Loving someone sometimes means saying “no” to desires that draw us away from God’s best.
Empathy Isn’t Endorsement
One reason “love is love” has gained traction is that it appeals to empathy; it asks us to stand in the shoes of those who feel marginalized and rejected, and to affirm their relationships as fully good. But Christianity calls us to a deeper love—one that is both compassionate and anchored in truth. There’s a difference between empathy (feeling with someone) and endorsement (celebrating and approving everything someone does). If a friend is harming themselves, true empathy wouldn’t simply affirm their choices; it would seek their healing, even if it means challenging them.
Applied to sexuality, this means Christians are called to treat everyone with dignity and love—but not to affirm every desire or relationship as good. God’s love sees us as we are; God’s truth calls us to something greater.
Love and Obedience Are Connected
Many passages make clear that love, in God’s eyes, is inseparable from obedience. Jesus said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15). Paul writes that love “does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6). This means love is never an excuse to break God’s boundaries. Real love may be costly; it may mean denying ourselves or surrendering feelings we cherish. That’s why the evangelical Christian message is never simply “follow your heart,” but “follow Christ”—even when the heart objects.
By making love the sole standard, the philosophy “love is love” shifts the conversation away from God and His authority. The Christian worldview insists that love must be guided by God’s revealed will, not just by what feels right to humans.
Redefining Marriage and Sexuality
The idea “love is love” was pivotal in shifting public opinion and law about marriage and sexuality. It reframed marriage primarily as a legal recognition of emotional and sexual partnership, regardless of the partners’ gender. But biblical marriage is much more—it’s a covenant reflecting Christ’s love for the Church, designed to unite male and female, complementary in every way, for the purpose of flourishing, family, and reflecting God’s nature to the world.
When society expands marriage to include any consenting adults, irrespective of gender, it isn’t just adding to marriage—it’s redefining it entirely. This matters for Christians, who believe marriage is a sacred institution designed and defined by God Himself. Redefinition turns marriage into a human project, untethered from divine blueprint.
The Cost of “Love is Love”
“Love is love” sounds harmless, but its consequences run deep. It encourages people to believe that the highest good is self-fulfillment and the only sin is denying someone’s feelings. By calling every consenting romantic relationship good and worthy of celebration, the philosophy substitutes God’s wisdom for human desire. It ultimately asks believers to abandon biblical convictions about sin, sexuality, and the meaning of love, and to trade truth for cultural acceptance.
This doesn’t mean Christians should be harsh, judgmental, or unloving toward those who disagree or live differently. Gospel love always reaches out; it always listens; it always seeks to understand. But it does mean standing firm in biblical truth, even when it goes against the grain of modern culture.
A Better Story
For Christians, the better story isn’t “love is love”—it’s “God is love.” God’s love isn’t self-centered or self-gratifying; it’s sacrificial, holy, and transformative. God calls everyone to Himself, and invites us all—not just some—to surrender every part of our lives, including our relationships, to His redeeming grace. This is the radical hope of the gospel: no one has to stay enslaved to any desire or definition of love that falls short of God’s glory.
In Christ, love isn’t just about romance or sexual attraction—it’s about knowing God, loving others faithfully, and receiving the kind of forgiveness and acceptance that heals the deepest wounds. God’s love brings freedom, wholeness, and life.
Final Thoughts
“Love is love” appeals because it seems compassionate and fair. But as Christians, we know that love must be anchored to truth—or it loses its power to heal, transform, and set free. The church must show grace and compassion to everyone, including our LGBTQ+ neighbors—but always point to Christ, who is both love incarnate and the standard of all truth.
“Love is love” cannot be the last word. The last word is God’s Word, and in that Word we discover a love greater than anything the world can offer—a love that both welcomes and transforms, a love that never lets us settle for less than His best.