Not long ago, marriage was one of the most honored institutions in society. It was seen as a sacred covenant, a promise not only between two people but also before God. Couples stood at the altar aware they were entering something weighty and holy—a lifelong commitment to love, protect, and remain faithful through every season of life.
Back then, family, church, and community all reinforced this vision. Everyone understood that marriage wasn’t about personal happiness alone but about sacrifice and service. Today, that view feels almost old-fashioned. In just a few generations, marriage has been redefined, devalued, and in many cases, simply ignored. The question many Christians are asking now is—what really happened to marriage?
The Rise of Self-Fulfillment
In earlier times, marriage was mostly about covenant and commitment. You vowed to love your spouse “for better or worse,” and everyone knew “worse” days would come. Today, it often feels like people approach marriage with a consumer attitude—something like, “I’ll stay as long as I’m happy.”
This shift has been subtle but devastating. The culture now teaches us that the goal of life is self-fulfillment. We’re told to “follow your heart,” “put yourself first,” and “do what makes you happy.” But that’s not how God designed love to work. Real love gives. Real love sacrifices.
The Bible’s definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13—patient, kind, enduring—is less about feelings and more about faithfulness. Modern love, however, is driven by emotion. When the feelings cool, many assume the relationship has failed rather than realizing that feelings follow actions. In truth, the strongest marriages are built not on constant emotional highs but on mutual commitment, daily service, and shared faith.
The Sexual Revolution and Its Fallout
A major turning point came in the 1960s and 70s during the sexual revolution. Society told us that freedom meant throwing off all restraints. People were encouraged to satisfy their desires however they chose, and any talk of purity or self-control was labeled oppressive. Sex was separated from marriage, and eventually, marriage itself began to lose its purpose.
Cohabitation became normal, and divorce became easy. Children started growing up in broken homes, and entire neighborhoods lost the stability that families once brought. By chasing unanchored freedom, society lost sight of what God intended for both men and women.
It’s not hard to see the fallout today. Many young adults fear commitment because they’ve never seen a healthy marriage survive. Others think marriage is unnecessary, believing long-term relationships can work just as well without vows. Yet underneath that hesitation is a deep longing for something permanent. People still desire real love, but they no longer know how to build it.
The truth is that the freedom promised by the sexual revolution hasn’t given us joy—it’s given us confusion and pain. We’ve gained independence but lost intimacy. We’ve pursued pleasure but missed purpose. And now we sit in the ruins wondering why relationships feel so fragile.
The Influence of Media and Modern Thinking
Television, movies, and social media constantly feed us distorted messages about love. In popular culture, relationships are driven by attraction, excitement, and drama. Rarely do we see stories about forgiveness, patience, or spiritual growth. The world glamorizes infidelity but mocks faithfulness as boring.
Even many of the popular “relationship experts” focus on compatibility tests and emotional chemistry instead of character and covenant. But God’s design for marriage never depended on perfect compatibility. It depends on two imperfect people learning to walk in grace together—learning to love as Christ loved the church.
When we trade that truth for cultural fads, disaster follows. Couples chase feelings instead of faithfulness and wonder why they end up disillusioned. The culture tells us to look for “the right person.” Scripture tells us to be the right person—to cultivate character, humility, patience, and self-control.
The Missing Moral Foundation
Marriage is not a man-made invention; it’s a divine design. In Genesis, God created Adam and Eve, blessing their union and calling it “very good.” It was the first institution ever ordained by God—long before governments, businesses, or churches existed. It’s no wonder that when societies drift from God, marriage begins to crumble.
At its core, marriage is a living picture of the gospel. Ephesians 5 tells us that marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and His church—sacrificial, steadfast, and full of grace. That’s a breathtaking vision, but it’s also a serious calling. Without God at the center, marriage shrinks into a mere contract between two people, where each one fights to protect their own interests.
That mindset is exactly why so many marriages fail. People want the benefits of love without the responsibility of covenant. They want intimacy without selflessness. But when marriage is built on convenience instead of calling, it cannot survive life’s storms.
The decline of marriage, then, is not just a social issue—it’s a spiritual one. When we remove God from the equation, we lose the reason marriage exists at all.
The Cost to Families and Children
The effects of broken marriages ripple far beyond husbands and wives. Children are often the silent sufferers in this cultural shift. Countless studies confirm that kids raised without both their biological parents face greater struggles—emotionally, academically, and relationally. They often carry deep questions about love, loyalty, and identity into their own adult relationships.
This isn’t about shaming single parents; many work heroically to provide stability and love. But the larger point is clear: God designed families to be whole. When that design is fractured, everyone pays a price. The breakdown of marriage eventually becomes the breakdown of community—and even nations.
Healthy families are the foundation of healthy societies. Without them, we see more loneliness, more addiction, more confusion about gender, sexuality, and roles. The unraveling of marriage is not just a relational crisis but a moral one.
How the Church Can Lead Again
So what can be done? The church must lead the way in restoring marriage to its biblical beauty. This starts with teaching a theology of marriage that goes beyond romance and happiness. Christians need to hear that marriage is about holiness—becoming more like Christ by learning to love someone selflessly.
Churches can also help by mentoring engaged and newly married couples. Older believers who have walked through decades of life together can offer practical wisdom and spiritual encouragement that no book or podcast ever could. When young Christians see marriages that endure—through hardship, illness, and even disappointment—it reminds them that covenant love is still possible.
The church must also recover a clear, unapologetic voice about sexual purity. Purity is not an outdated rulebook; it’s God’s protection for our hearts. When we honor His boundaries, we find lasting joy and deeper intimacy—not the counterfeit version the world promises.
The Way Back
Restoring marriage won’t happen through government policies or social programs. It begins in homes and hearts where God’s authority is honored again. The way back starts with humility—husbands and wives who stop blaming each other and start submitting their marriage to God’s Word.
When couples learn to pray together, to forgive quickly, and to keep short accounts, grace fills the room. Love doesn’t magically stay strong; it grows stronger when both partners die to self daily. Marriage is not meant to be a competition but a partnership, rooted in the self-giving love that Christ modeled on the cross.
Feelings will ebb and flow, but obedience keeps love alive. Some days, choosing to love means showing patience when you don’t feel it, extending grace when your spouse doesn’t deserve it, or staying faithful when it would be easier to walk away. That’s the kind of love that changes hearts and rebuilds families.
A Hope for the Future
It’s easy to look at the current state of marriage and feel discouraged. But God is not finished with this sacred institution. Around the world, countless Christian couples are quietly living out the gospel in their homes—raising children in truth, forgiving one another daily, and proving that real love endures.
As believers, our marriages are meant to be living testimonies. When we forgive instead of retaliate, when we serve instead of demand, when we stay instead of run, the world takes notice. In a culture obsessed with self, love that sacrifices stands out as something beautiful and rare.
The world doesn’t need more relationship advice—it needs more redeemed examples. A restored view of marriage will come when Christians once again treat it not as a social trend but as a sacred trust. Every act of faithfulness—every quiet moment of endurance—preaches the gospel louder than any sermon.
So what happened to marriage? We let go of the Author who designed it. But if we return to Him, marriage can be renewed. The same God who joined Adam and Eve in Eden still blesses those who honor His covenant today. And when couples build their love on that unshakable foundation, no cultural storm can tear it apart.