What Happened to Chivalry?
For generations, chivalry stood as a symbol of male honor—strength guided by virtue, power balanced by compassion. Knights in medieval times were trained to defend the weak and uphold justice. But even after the age of armor passed, chivalry lived on in everyday gestures: opening a door, offering a seat, standing when a woman entered the room, or showing respect in speech and attitude.
Yet today, those same actions often raise eyebrows. Some say they’re outdated, even sexist. Others believe they’re unnecessary in a world that claims gender equality. Social media debates rage daily over what it means to be a “real man” or a “strong woman.” In the middle of those battles, chivalry stands accused—called irrelevant, performative, or even oppressive.
The Rise of the Manosphere
One of the most vocal reactions to modern feminism has come from what’s known as the “manosphere.” It’s a loose network of online communities—blogs, influencers, podcasts, and social media voices—dedicated to discussing men’s issues. Some of them raise valid points about fatherlessness, the decline of male leadership, and the cultural shaming of masculinity. But others have taken a darker turn, turning hurt into hostility.
In many corners of the manosphere, the message is clear: “Don’t help women. Don’t protect them. Don’t serve them. They don’t need or want you.” The sentiment springs from frustration. Many men feel dismissed by modern culture or blamed for problems they didn’t create. They see feminism as having gone too far—so they push back by withdrawing their goodwill. It becomes an emotional standoff: “Why should we help you when you’ve rejected us?”
The Misunderstanding at the Core
But that response, however understandable, misses the point of chivalry entirely. Chivalry was never about pandering or earning approval. It was about character—about living by principle rather than emotion. True chivalry doesn’t ask, “Will this be appreciated?” It asks, “Is this right?”
A man who opens a door or offers help isn’t expressing weakness; he’s expressing dignity. Courtesy doesn’t diminish strength—it reveals it. In withdrawing kindness as a form of protest, men unknowingly mirror the bitterness of the age they’re reacting against. Modern culture says, “Put yourself first. Guard your pride.” But Christ’s example says the opposite: “Serve one another in love.”
The Christian Model for Manhood
The Bible never uses the word “chivalry,” but the spirit of it runs through every page. The strength of the Christian man is measured not by dominance, but by devotion—his courage, self-restraint, and willingness to put others before himself. Jesus, the ultimate model of manhood, didn’t cling to His rights. He knelt to wash the feet of His followers. He gave, served, and protected without condition.
When the Apostle Paul wrote that love “does not insist on its own way,” he was describing exactly what modern masculinity often lacks: humility. Real manhood doesn’t demand respect—it earns it through consistent compassion. That’s the essence of Christian chivalry.
Chivalry Isn’t About Women Alone
Some people hear “chivalry” and think it’s just about men serving women. But that’s far too narrow. The heart of chivalry applies to everyone—it’s about showing honor, courage, and self-control in all relationships. It’s about defending the weak, speaking truth with gentleness, and treating every person as an image-bearer of God.
When a man helps a woman stranded on the roadside, holds the door for an elderly couple, or speaks respectfully to someone who mocks him, he’s not reinforcing stereotypes. He’s rejecting the decay of civility. He’s saying, “I will not let the world’s cynicism dictate my behavior.”
Courtesy is not an act of submission—it’s an act of strength. It takes strength to stay kind in a culture that values cynicism. It takes courage to do what’s right when you’re mocked for it.
The Power of Doing Good Anyway
Let’s be honest: sometimes it hurts to be kind in a world that doesn’t seem to value it. When men are met with cold stares or sarcastic remarks for simple courtesies, the temptation is to say, “Fine, I’m done trying.” But that’s when true honor is tested.
Goodness isn’t validated by results. It’s an act of obedience. When we act with integrity—especially when it’s not appreciated—we show that our goodness is genuine. Jesus said, “If you love those who love you, what reward do you have?” (Matthew 5:46). Chivalry is a daily opportunity to show Christlike love in small, ordinary ways.
Boundaries and Balance
Of course, Christian kindness doesn’t mean becoming a doormat. Being courteous doesn’t mean letting people walk all over you or failing to recognize manipulation. Healthy boundaries are biblical too. Jesus was compassionate but never naive. He discerned motives and spoke hard truths when necessary.
Likewise, men today must walk that same line—firm yet kind, strong yet gentle. Chivalry is not agreeing with everything or pretending bad behavior doesn’t exist. It’s choosing to respond with righteousness, even when the world responds with ridicule.
Restoring Dignity to Both Sexes
When men rediscover chivalry, women also benefit—but so does society as a whole. Courtesy, honor, and mutual respect stabilize communities. Families thrive when men lead with responsibility and humility. Young boys watching their fathers see that real power is not in aggression, but in self-control.
The feminist movement, for all its complexity, was right about one thing: women shouldn’t be treated as inferior. But it went wrong when it began equating male kindness with condescension. Genuine chivalry affirms equality—it doesn’t deny it. It’s not about male superiority but about moral example. Women who embrace their own God-given dignity complement that strength, not compete with it.
The Quiet Strength That Endures
Chivalry today may look different than it did a hundred years ago, but its heart hasn’t changed. It’s being redefined by men who understand that honor isn’t performative—it’s lived out in the unseen moments. It’s in the way a husband speaks to his wife, the honesty of a businessman who refuses to cut corners, or the young man who intervenes when someone is being mistreated.
Even in a cynical world, chivalry endures wherever conscience overrules convenience. It’s the quiet strength that refuses to turn bitter, even when misunderstood.
A Call to Men of Faith
For Christian men, the return of chivalry begins with discipleship. Before we can serve others rightly, we must first be grounded in our relationship with Christ. His example transforms our motives. We no longer show courtesy to earn approval but because we’ve been shown grace.
A man secure in Christ doesn’t need validation from culture. He serves freely because his worth is rooted in something eternal. Whether society praises him or mocks him, he knows who he is. That’s the foundation of biblical manhood: confidence anchored in humility.
Chivalry as a Countercultural Witness
In a world increasingly driven by cynicism and self-interest, chivalry becomes a form of witness. Every small act of kindness testifies to a higher standard—a standard not based on transactions but transformation. When men open doors, honor commitments, or go out of their way to help someone in need, they reflect a fragment of divine goodness.
And when they do those things without resentment, they challenge the narrative that “nice guys finish last.” No, godly men finish differently—they finish well.
Chivalry Lives On
So no, chivalry is not dead. It may be bruised and misunderstood, but it still lives in every man who chooses love over pride, grace over resentment, and principle over convenience. It’s alive in the father teaching his son to respect women, in the husband who serves his wife sacrificially, in the young man who treats strangers with dignity.
Chivalry survives wherever Christ rules the heart. It endures because truth endures. And it reminds us that goodness is never wasted—even when it goes unrecognized. True honor needs no applause; real strength requires no permission.
In the end, chivalry isn’t about what others deserve. It’s about who we are called to be.