“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.” – Luke 2:52
“Now the boy Samuel continued to grow both in stature and in favor with the LORD and also with man.” – 1 Samuel 2:26

Every parent wants their child to grow up strong, healthy, and wise. But there’s another kind of growth that’s just as important as good grades or physical health — emotional growth. The Bible reminds us that both Jesus and Samuel matured “in favor with God and man,” which perfectly describes emotional intelligence: the ability to manage emotions well and relate with understanding and respect to others.

For many years, parents focused mainly on helping children build their IQ — their intellectual ability. Today, research shows that a person’s emotional intelligence (EQ) often matters more than IQ when it comes to success in relationships, leadership, and work. Children with well-developed emotional intelligence are more resilient, kind, and confident. And they’re better equipped to handle life in a way that honors God.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to identify, understand, and manage emotions — both your own and those of others. In simple terms, EQ involves three main skills:

  1. Recognizing emotions in yourself and others.

  2. Managing or regulating your emotional reactions.

  3. Using emotions wisely to guide decisions and actions.

Think of a child who gets upset when a game doesn’t go their way. One child may throw a tantrum and quit. Another might take a deep breath and ask for a do-over. That child is already learning emotional management. EQ doesn’t mean suppressing feelings; it means learning how to handle them thoughtfully and constructively.

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters

When children develop emotional intelligence, they flourish — not just academically, but in their friendships, families, and faith. Studies and common sense show several benefits:

  • Better academic performance. Emotionally intelligent kids manage stress, focus on learning, and get along well with teachers and classmates.

  • More persistence and motivation. Children with strong EQ stick with challenges longer and bounce back after setbacks.

  • Healthier relationships. They are more empathetic, cooperative, and caring, which improves family life and friendships.

  • Fewer behavior problems. High-EQ kids are less likely to act out, turn to drugs or alcohol, or give in to peer pressure.

  • Greater happiness and well-being. They grow into adults who are emotionally balanced and spiritually mature.

Emotional intelligence helps a child grow “in favor with God and man” — just as Jesus did. And although some schools teach emotional skills, parents remain the most influential teachers of emotion and empathy.

Parents Are the Best Teachers of EQ

Your home is your child’s first classroom for relationships and emotional health. Kids learn how to respond to frustration, disappointment, or conflict by observing how you do it. The way you handle your feelings shapes how they will handle theirs.

Here are seven ways to help your child grow in emotional intelligence — grounded in biblical wisdom and powered by everyday practice.

1. Model Emotional Intelligence Yourself

Children reflect what they see. If you stay calm under stress, listen before speaking, and respond thoughtfully, your children will learn those same habits. But if you snap when things go wrong or withdraw in anger, they’ll likely do the same.

Emotional growth begins with self-awareness. When you feel frustrated, try verbalizing your feelings: “I’m stressed right now, so I’m going to take a few minutes to calm down.” That shows your child how to name and regulate emotions without shame or denial.

Your example teaches more than any lecture could. You’re showing your child how a mature believer handles emotions in a Christlike way — with honesty, patience, and grace.

2. Name and Explain Emotions

Children often act out because they don’t yet have the words to express what they feel. You can help by naming emotions, both yours and theirs.

If you’re sad, say, “I’m feeling sad today because Grandpa isn’t feeling well.” Or when your child is upset, you might say, “You seem frustrated that your toy broke. Is that right?” Naming emotions helps children feel understood — and gives them the words they need to express themselves next time.

Expand your emotional vocabulary together. Kids quickly learn that there’s more than “happy” and “mad.” Emotions can be disappointed, nervous, excited, embarrassed, or proud. The more they can identify, the more skillfully they can manage.

3. Validate Your Child’s Feelings

Every emotion is valid, even when behavior must be corrected. When a child feels understood, they become calmer and more open to correction.

If your child protests bedtime with tears, you can respond calmly: “I know you’re upset because you want to keep playing, but it’s bedtime now.” This approach empathizes without giving in. The child learns that you recognize their frustration but that rules and routines still matter.

Validation doesn’t pamper children — it equips them. They learn that feelings are real, but they don’t have to control choices or behavior.

4. Teach and Model Empathy

Empathy is seeing through someone else’s eyes — a vital part of both EQ and Christian love. Jesus modeled empathy perfectly when He entered our world, felt our pain, and said, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).

Help your child practice empathy daily. Talk about how other people feel — when reading Bible stories, watching a show, or noticing a classmate who’s left out. Ask, “How do you think she feels right now?” and “What’s something kind we could do?”

Simple actions like sharing, apologizing, or helping someone in need build a compassionate heart. Empathy is learned through consistent conversation, example, and reflection.

5. Practice Healthy Communication

Good communication is the heartbeat of emotional health. That means expressing feelings openly but respectfully, and listening without judgment.

Model this in everyday life. When you’re frustrated, instead of blaming, say, “I feel disappointed when the chores aren’t done because it makes the house harder to manage.” This kind of “I” message takes responsibility for your own emotions and invites problem-solving instead of defensiveness.

Teach your children to do the same. When siblings fight, help them say, “I felt hurt when you said that,” instead of “You’re mean!” Healthy expression leads to empathy and resolution — and fewer shouting matches at home.

6. Encourage Healthy Emotional Expression

Many adults grew up being told to “stop crying” or to “toughen up.” But emotions don’t disappear when buried — they resurface later as stress, anger, or anxiety. Children need to know that emotions are a normal part of being human.

Encourage your child to express feelings through talking, writing, praying, or even creative expression. If they lash out in anger, help them pause and talk about what’s behind it. Say, “It’s okay to feel mad, but it’s not okay to hit. Let’s find another way to calm down.”

You can also point to examples from Scripture. David poured out his heart to God in the Psalms. His honesty was not weakness — it was worship. Help your child see that God invites their real emotions; He wants authenticity, not perfection.

By creating a home where feelings are acknowledged and handled biblically, you’re teaching your child that emotions are not something to fear or hide, but something to bring before the Lord.

7. Teach Problem-Solving Skills

Once a child can recognize and express feelings, they can begin to solve problems wisely. Teach them to ask, “What can I do about this situation now that I understand how I feel?”

When your child is upset about a friend or a tough situation, avoid jumping in to fix it right away. Instead, guide them with questions: “What do you think would help?” or “What could you do differently next time?” This builds critical thinking and confidence.

Encourage prayer as part of problem-solving. Say, “Let’s ask God to help us know what to do.” That small step connects emotional growth to spiritual growth — showing that wisdom begins with seeking God’s guidance.

You’re not just raising a capable child; you’re raising a young believer who knows how to bring emotions and decisions before God.

Growing in Favor with God and Man

When Scripture describes Jesus as growing in “wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man,” it paints a picture of balanced, holistic development — intellectual, physical, spiritual, and emotional. Emotional intelligence is part of that Christlike maturity.

Helping your child develop emotional intelligence doesn’t require perfection from you. It requires consistency. Show grace, be authentic, and let your children see you growing too. Every time you model calmness, empathy, and prayer under pressure, you’re giving them tools that will last a lifetime.

Ultimately, emotional intelligence is not about self-help but spiritual formation. It’s learning to understand our hearts — and to surrender those hearts to Christ. Children who learn that lesson early will be equipped not just for earthly success, but for godly living.

Your home is the best place to begin shaping an emotionally intelligent and spiritually mature generation. Start with conversation, example, and prayer — and watch your children grow in wisdom, in favor with others, and in favor with God.