Every marriage, no matter how strong or mature, needs a set of foundational truths to hold it together when life’s storms come. Just as God gave His people the Ten Commandments as a moral anchor, couples can build their relationship on spiritual principles that keep love growing and faith deepening.
These “Ten Commandments of Marriage” aren’t legalistic rules but practical, grace-filled commitments rooted in Scripture—truths that help us honor God and one another every day.
Respect the Image of God in Your Spouse
Dr. Gary Smalley, a beloved author on marriage, once asked, “How would you treat your spouse if you saw them as being autographed by God?” That observation expresses a profound spiritual truth—husbands and wives are both made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).
When we remember this reality, it changes the way we treat each other. Criticism, harsh words, or indifference cannot thrive where reverence and gratitude exist. Seeing our spouse as a living reflection of God’s creative handiwork helps us respond with tenderness, even in conflict.
To respect the image of God in your spouse means treating them as sacred—someone designed by the Creator and loved by Him. Your mate isn’t just your partner; they are a masterpiece of divine craftsmanship.
Remember That Your Spouse Is a Gift from God
In times of disagreement or unmet expectations, it’s easy to forget that your husband or wife is actually one of God’s greatest blessings. James 1:17 tells us that every good and perfect gift comes from above, and that includes your spouse.
When we take one another for granted, we wound God’s heart. Gratitude restores perspective. When you begin to thank Him daily for your partner—for their strengths, their laughter, and even their imperfections—you’ll find your heart softening.
Gratitude extinguishes resentment. The more we view our spouse as a divine gift, the less room there is for criticism or discontent. Cultivating this spirit turns ordinary married life into sacred partnership.
Love Always Means Sacrifice
True love is not based on emotion but on choice—and that choice often involves sacrifice. Jesus modeled this perfectly: “Walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us” (Ephesians 5:2).
In marriage, sacrificial love means putting your spouse’s well-being ahead of your comfort. It’s biting your tongue when you’d rather lash out, or serving when you’d rather rest. Real love has skin in the game.
When both partners live this way, each one gives more than they take, and both feel cherished. Sacrificial love is the heartbeat of a Christian marriage because it mirrors the love Christ has shown us.
Relinquish Your Rights
Few truths run more counter to today’s culture than this one. Everywhere we hear, “Stand up for your rights!” Yet Scripture calls believers to something higher. Philippians 2:5-8 says that Jesus, who had every right as the Son of God, “emptied Himself” for our sake.
Relinquishing your rights in marriage doesn’t mean you’re weak or voiceless—it means you’re Christlike. It’s choosing what’s right over the need to be right. It’s releasing pride to preserve peace.
When both partners let go of self-centered entitlement, humility takes root, and love thrives. Marriage then becomes a reflection of Christ’s servant heart—strong, secure, and surrendered to God’s will.
Esteem Each Other Above Yourself
Paul tells us in Philippians 2:3-4 to avoid selfish ambition and to humbly value others above ourselves. That command applies powerfully to marriage.
To esteem your spouse means to honor their feelings, priorities, and dreams—not dismiss them. It’s yielding, listening, and caring without keeping score. This doesn’t mean neglecting your own voice or erasing your identity. It means letting self-interest take a back seat for the good of your union.
When both husband and wife adopt this mindset, marriage becomes a partnership rather than a competition. You start thinking in terms of “we” rather than “me,” and your relationship reflects the humility and unity of Christ.
Pray for Each Other—and With Each Other
There’s nothing that strengthens intimacy like shared prayer. William Law once said, “There’s nothing that makes us love someone as much as praying for him.” When couples pray together, they invite God Himself into the center of their relationship.
Prayer transforms how we see one another. When you pray for your spouse’s heart, struggles, and blessings, you participate in God’s healing work in their life. When you pray together, you experience a unity that nothing else can bring.
Make prayer part of your daily rhythm—at the breakfast table, in the car, before bed. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or formal. A simple, sincere prayer can weave grace into your everyday life and keep your hearts soft toward one another.
Never Go to Bed Angry
Ephesians 4:26 offers one of the most practical marriage principles in Scripture: “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” This isn’t just good advice—it’s spiritual protection. Unresolved anger opens the door to bitterness and division.
God is the ultimate reconciler, and He calls us to mirror that character in our homes. Every act of forgiveness between husband and wife reflects His desire to reconcile with us through Christ.
Before you fall asleep, check your heart. If there’s tension, resentment, or silence between you, take the first step toward peace. Even if it’s awkward or humbling, choose reconciliation. A tender apology before bed can work wonders for your marriage and your spirit.
When You’re Wrong, Admit It—When You’re Right, Be Quiet
Pride is one of the biggest barriers to harmony in marriage. Yet love always aims at unity, not victory. The humility to admit when you’re wrong—and the wisdom to hold your tongue even when you’re right—are marks of spiritual maturity.
Admitting fault isn’t losing; it’s choosing connection over ego. And holding back when you’re right shows love that values peace over proving a point. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that “a gentle answer turns away wrath.”
In a culture obsessed with winning arguments, God calls husbands and wives to win each other’s hearts. Unity, not being “right,” is how love triumphs.
Keep Sight of God’s Order
Marriage works best when we remember God’s design. Hebrews 10:24 encourages us to spur one another on toward love and good deeds. That means seeing your spouse not as competition but as completion.
Each of you has been gifted uniquely by God, and those gifts are meant to strengthen—not overshadow—each other. Your spouse’s strengths balance your weaknesses and vice versa. When this perspective drives your relationship, it becomes less about control and more about cooperation.
Ask yourself daily, “How can I encourage my spouse to fulfill what God has called them to do?” Helping your husband or wife flourish is one of the most beautiful acts of love.
Be Faithful to Your Vows
Faithfulness is a word that’s lost much of its meaning in our modern world. But to God, covenant promises never expire. When you stood at the altar and said, “I do,” you made a covenant not only with your spouse but with the Lord Himself.
We live in a culture that believes the rules can change when circumstances become hard. But God’s Word teaches the opposite: fidelity and commitment are timeless. “Let your ‘yes’ be yes” (Matthew 5:37). Marriage is not based on convenience but covenant.
To be faithful means more than sexual purity. It means emotional loyalty, spiritual integrity, and keeping your word when it’s easier to walk away. Even when your spouse falters, choose to remain steadfast before God. That kind of unwavering faithfulness is a testimony to the world of God’s enduring love.
Building a Marriage That Honors God
Marriage is not a social experiment or a temporary agreement. It is a sacred covenant established by God to reflect Christ’s relationship with His Church. The Ten Commandments of Marriage are not rigid rules to earn favor but spiritual guideposts that draw us into deeper relationship—with God and with each other.
When we choose respect, gratitude, sacrifice, humility, prayer, reconciliation, and faithfulness, our homes become reflections of heaven’s values. These commitments transform ordinary marriage into holy partnership.
By following these biblical principles, couples can build marriages that stand firm against the pressures of the world and shine as examples of God’s grace. As you live out these truths daily, may your home become a place where Christ’s love is visible, His peace is present, and His joy endures through every season.