In recent years, a growing number of young men—both inside and outside the church—are expressing frustration with modern relationships, marriage, and societal expectations. Some have found a voice in the “Men Going Their Own Way” (MGTOW) movement, which encourages men to step back from romantic relationships and, in some cases, from broader social commitments altogether. But what does this trend mean for Christian young men? Should they “go their own way,” or is there a better path rooted in biblical truth?
Let’s take an honest, compassionate look at this issue from a Christian perspective.
MGTOW is a cultural movement where men, often in response to negative experiences or fears about marriage and relationships, choose to withdraw from romantic involvement and sometimes from deeper social commitments. Many in this movement cite concerns about divorce laws, unfair treatment in family courts, shifting gender roles, and a sense that men are undervalued in society. For some, it’s about self-preservation; for others, it’s a protest against what they see as a culture that no longer respects or protects men.
While MGTOW is still a relatively small movement, its influence is growing, especially among younger men who feel burned or disillusioned by relationships or by what they see as a “gynocentric” (female-centered) society.
Fear of Painful Relationships: Many men have witnessed or experienced heartbreak, betrayal, or divorce and are wary of the risks involved in marriage and commitment.
Cultural Shifts: The rise of no-fault divorce, changing gender roles, and the perception that men are often the “losers” in family court have made some men hesitant to pursue marriage.
Desire for Independence: Some simply prefer the freedom to pursue their own goals, hobbies, or careers without the responsibilities or risks that come with relationships.
Disillusionment with the Church: Sadly, some Christian men feel that the church isn’t advocating for them or addressing their concerns about modern relationships.
The Bible recognizes the challenges and risks of relationships, but it also offers a vision for community, love, and self-sacrifice that stands in stark contrast to the self-protective mindset of MGTOW.
From the very beginning, God declared, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). Marriage is presented as a gift, a partnership designed to reflect God’s love and character. The New Testament also affirms the value of singleness for those called to it (1 Corinthians 7:7-8), but always within the context of serving God and others—not simply avoiding risk or pain.
Throughout Scripture, believers are called to live in community, to bear one another’s burdens, and to extend grace and service to each other (Hebrews 10:24-25). The Christian life isn’t meant to be a solo journey or a gender-divided venture.
Jesus modeled a life of sacrificial love, forgiveness, and engagement with a broken world (Philippians 2:5-8)2. Rather than withdrawing in the face of rejection or betrayal, He entered into humanity’s pain and offered redemption. The gospel calls us to lay down our fears and hurts at the cross, trusting that Christ’s love can heal and restore.
While it’s understandable that some men want to protect themselves from pain, the MGTOW philosophy can lead to several spiritual pitfalls:
Fear-Based Living: At its core, MGTOW is often driven by fear—fear of being hurt, taken advantage of, or losing control. Yet, “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7).
Selfishness: MGTOW tends to prioritize personal comfort and self-interest over the biblical call to serve and love others. Jesus teaches us to put God first, others second, and ourselves last—a radical reversal of the MGTOW mindset.
Missed Opportunities for Growth: Marriage and community are some of the best arenas for learning patience, humility, forgiveness, and self-control6. Opting out of relationships to avoid risk also means missing out on these opportunities for spiritual growth.
Ignoring God’s Call: While some are genuinely called to singleness for the sake of ministry (as Paul was), most men are called to relationship and community. Choosing singleness out of fear or cynicism is not the same as being called to it by God.
So how should Christian young men—and the church—respond to the MGTOW movement?
Many who embrace MGTOW have been deeply hurt. The first step is to listen with compassion and validate their experiences without judgment. The church must be a place where men can share their struggles honestly and find support.
The Bible warns against letting bitterness take root (Hebrews 12:15). While it’s tempting to respond to pain by withdrawing or becoming cynical, healing begins when we surrender our hurts to God and seek His wisdom.
Whether single or married, Christian men are called to seek God’s wisdom in relationships. This means choosing partners carefully, pursuing purity, and building relationships on the foundation of Christ. It also means being open to the possibility of marriage, even if it feels risky.
Don’t “go your own way” in isolation. The Christian life is meant to be lived in community—with other men, with women, and with the broader body of Christ. Surround yourself with believers who can offer support, accountability, and encouragement.
Ultimately, our hope is not in avoiding pain but in trusting God’s goodness and sovereignty. Whether you are single or married, God’s plan for your life is always good, and His grace is sufficient for every season (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Joseph: Betrayed by his brothers and falsely accused, Joseph could have withdrawn in bitterness. Instead, he forgave and trusted God’s purpose (Genesis 50:19-21).
Paul: Paul endured hardship and loneliness, yet relied on God’s strength and remained committed to serving others (2 Corinthians 12:10).
Ruth and Boaz: Their story shows how God can redeem difficult circumstances and bring blessing through faithfulness and trust (Ruth 1-4).
Yes. While the MGTOW movement raises some valid concerns about the challenges men face today, the Christian answer is not withdrawal or self-protection, but courageous engagement rooted in faith, love, and hope.
If you’ve been hurt, seek healing in Christ and wise counsel from others.
If you’re afraid, bring your fears to God and ask Him for courage and wisdom.
If you’re frustrated with the culture, remember that God calls us to be salt and light, not to retreat in defeat.
Marriage, singleness, and community are all good gifts when lived according to God’s design. The answer isn’t to “go your own way,” but to follow Christ’s way—a way marked by love, sacrifice, and trust in God’s perfect plan.
Are Christian young men going their own way? Some are, and it’s easy to understand why. But as followers of Jesus, we’re called to something higher. We’re called to face life’s challenges—not with cynicism or fear, but with faith, hope, and love. Whether you’re single or married, God’s desire is for you to live in community, to serve others, and to trust Him with your future.
Let’s encourage one another to reject the world’s narrative of fear and self-protection, and instead, pursue the abundant life Jesus offers—a life of purpose, relationship, and lasting joy.
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