Research findings are highly consistent concerning compatibility. The most stable marriages are those involving two people with many similarities. For couples, similarities are money in the bank and differences are like debts that must be paid. When people come from similar backgrounds they operate from a position of strength. Their relationship is made easier by all of the customs and practices they have in common. They know what to expect from each other because they have been raised by parents who modeled and taught similar world views.
Every difference a couple has requires negotiation, adaptation and change. If there is an unwillingness to bend and adjust they will experience ongoing flashes of resentment and frustration.
Similarities that are absolutely essential:
Differences that spell trouble:
When differences exist there must be flexibility, a willingness to be adaptive instead of rigid, a willingness to compromise and adjust.
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