Dating today can feel like wading through a minefield of trending hashtags and “expert” advice from people you’ve never met—but who have millions of followers. TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and a thousand dating blogs offer endless opinions. Some advice sounds flashy and liberating, but much of it is just plain bad—it promotes shallow relationships, unrealistic expectations, and even toxic or manipulative habits.

If you’re a Christian single seeking something more than likes and matches—a real, God-honoring relationship—how do you sort through the mess, filter out the noise, and make wise, faith-filled choices? Let’s dive into the world of “bad dating advice,” see what’s at risk, and learn how to build relationships on wisdom, not trends.

What Does Bad Dating Advice Look Like Online?

First, let’s admit: there’s some seriously bad dating advice out there. Here’s just a small taste of the nonsense that spreads like wildfire on social media:

  • “Don’t text back right away—play hard to get!”

  • “Always keep a backup—never settle for one person.”

  • “Treat them mean, keep them keen.”

  • “Act aloof—care less, so you never get hurt.”

  • “Test sexual compatibility before you commit—it’s just being smart.”

  • “If you don’t vibe instantly, move on. Next!”

  • “Date only for fun or free dinners—don’t catch feelings.”

  • “It’s okay to ghost people if you’re not feeling it.”

  • “Marry rich—love grows later.”

  • “Show only your perfect side—never let your real values or faith show early on.”

Sound familiar? These aren’t just bad ideas—they’re roadmaps to pain, confusion, and short-term flings that fizzle or wound. They teach you to play games, keep secrets, watch your back, and pursue relationships for selfish gain rather than real intimacy or godly love.

Why Is Bad Advice So Popular?

It’s easy and entertaining. Social media favors quick “hacks,” hot takes, and bold promises. The more outrageous or “empowering” the tip, the faster it spreads. Algorithms reward creators for shock value, not wisdom. On top of that, hearing a “rule” for how to date, text, or win someone’s heart can feel easier than reflecting, praying, and practicing patience.

Plus, bad advice often promises relief from real fears—fear of rejection, of missing out, of being vulnerable. It urges you to manipulate, withdraw, or use others instead of risking hurt. But that relief is temporary, at best.

The Real Risks of Following Bad Dating Advice

Let’s be real: following TikTok dating “rules” can cost you big. Here’s how:

  1. It Erodes Trust
    If both people are busy playing games, no one learns to trust. Authentic connection gets lost in a sea of doubt: “Does he really like me? Is she talking to three other guys?” Trust grows through openness, not manipulation.

  2. It Stunts Vulnerability
    God designed us for honest, deep connection—“naked and unashamed” (Genesis 2:25). When advice says, “Don’t let them know the real you,” it kills vulnerability and the chance for authentic love.

  3. It Promotes Selfishness
    Advice focused only on “getting what you want” pushes you to use or objectify people. That’s the opposite of Christ’s call to selfless, servant-hearted love.

  4. It Normalizes Mistreatment
    Tips that encourage ghosting, using people, or settling for casual sex train you to become numb to the pain you cause and accept the same from others.

  5. It Undermines Long-Term Happiness
    Focusing on instant attraction, “sparks,” or superficial qualities keeps you from learning perseverance, forgiveness, and genuine friendship—the things that make real relationships last.

  6. It Fosters Burnout and Discontentment
    Chasing every trend or quick fix leaves you exhausted, cynical, and always searching for someone “better” rather than investing in the person right in front of you.

How Can Christian Singles Sort Through the Mess?

With so many voices shouting for your attention, how do you know which ones to trust? Here’s a practical, faith-filled roadmap:

  1. Start With God’s Wisdom First
    Track every TikTok tip by Scripture. God speaks clearly in His Word about love: honor, honesty, purity, self-control, and patience. The Bible isn’t silent about dating principles, even if it doesn’t mention “apps.” Trust the timeless over the trendy.

  2. Test the Fruit
    As Jesus said, “By their fruit you will recognize them” (Matthew 7:16). If advice breeds anxiety, manipulation, or disrespect, set it aside. If it fosters peace, clarity, and mutual respect, keep listening.

  3. Lean On Real-Life Wisdom
    Don’t crowdsource your love life from strangers. Seek mentors, wise friends, parents, or church leaders you admire. They know you, your faith, and your story—and have walked the road further than any influencer.

  4. Value True Vulnerability Over Tricks
    Don’t be afraid to show your true self. If your faith is important, say so early. Be honest about your hopes and what you’re looking for. A relationship built on “hacks” can’t stand the pressure of real life.

  5. Look for Red Flags in Advice
    Watch out for any message that:

    • Excuses dishonesty or hiding.

    • Encourages objectifying or using others.

    • Pushes you to violate your convictions.

    • Promotes bitterness, cynicism, or mistrust.

    • Pressures you to move faster than wisdom or peace allow.

  6. Pray About Major Steps
    Don’t just follow the crowd. Pray about who you date, when you get serious, and what the next steps should be. God cares about your decisions and will give you peace—or discomfort—if you ask.

  7. Be Patient With the Process
    The best relationships usually don’t start with fireworks or follow scripted “rules.” Don’t be afraid to let things unfold slowly, make mistakes, and learn along the way. Trust that God’s pace is better than any “life hack.”

Common Christian Dating Principles to Remember

  • Date someone who is actively following Jesus, not just in name, but in the way they live and love.

  • Pursue purity—not as a sterile rule, but as a joyful act of obedience and self-respect.

  • Look for character, not just chemistry.

  • Bring your relationship into trusted community—let others get to know who you’re dating.

  • Pray together (if you’re both believers) and be honest about your struggles, hopes, and temptations.

  • If you mess up or fall for bad advice, return to God’s grace quickly, confess, and start fresh. No one is perfect, but everyone can grow.

Redemptive Advice: What To Do When You’ve Followed the Wrong Crowd

Maybe you’ve been burned by bad advice. You’ve ghosted, played games, or chased the wrong things. Welcome to the family! None of us get it right every time. What matters is what you do next:

  • Bring your regret to God. He forgives, heals, and gives new wisdom for next time.

  • Make amends where needed—with honesty and humility.

  • Reflect: “Why did I follow that advice? What need was I trying to meet? What deeper truth does God want to teach me?”

  • Recommit to wiser, slower, more God-centered choices.

The Good News: Real, Lasting Love Doesn’t Begin on TikTok

The “best” dating advice out there is already 2,000 years old: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). True love is about respect, safety, kindness, humility, and honesty. It’s about becoming the kind of whole-hearted, Christ-following person you hope to marry.

God isn’t watching you date with a clipboard, tallying up your wins and fails. He wants you to seek Him first, follow His son, and learn to love—really love, like Jesus—other people. That means sifting every dating tip through the lens of His Word and remembering that what’s popular isn’t always what’s holy.

So, Christian single, next time you see a viral hack promising love, fame, or drama, pause. Think. Pray. Check it against the wisdom of Scripture and the peace of the Spirit. And remember: God’s love story for you is better than any trend—full of patience, hope, forgiveness, and grace. Don’t settle for less, and don’t let the world do your thinking for you.