Bringing Out the Best in Your Partner

As Christians, one of the most important callings in marriage is to help our spouse grow closer to Christ. When a husband and wife are both pursuing God, it creates a powerful spiritual synergy that draws out the best in each other. While only God can ultimately change hearts, there are many ways we can encourage our partner’s faith journey. Through prayer, encouragement, communication, and leading by example, you can be a positive influence that helps your spouse become all God created them to be.

Pray Diligently for Your Spouse

Prayer is the foundation for bringing out the best in your partner. Before focusing on what you can say or do, focus first on lifting up your spouse before the Lord. Pray for their spiritual growth, that they would hunger for God’s Word and have a soft heart before Him. Ask God to surround them with godly influences and opportunities to mature in their faith.

Some specific things to pray:

• That they would love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength (Matthew 22:37)
• For them to be devoted to learning from Scripture (Psalm 119)
• That their eyes would be opened to the truth of God’s Word
• For them to be surrounded by encouraging Christian community

Customize your prayers to your spouse’s unique needs, struggles and interests. Consider praying Scripture over them, inserting their name into relevant Bible passages. Prayer aligns your heart with God’s desires for your spouse.

Encourage Their Spiritual Growth

Look for opportunities to affirm and inspire your partner in their walk with Christ. Notice their spiritual strengths and how they use their gifts to serve others. Compliment the fruit of the Spirit you see developing in their life. When they take steps of faith, even imperfect ones, cheer them on. If they attempt something for God and fail, commend their effort and ask what they learned from it. Your words have power to build up your spouse.

Encouragement also means gently challenging your partner to keep growing. Ask how you can help them prioritize time in the Word and prayer. Recommend resources like devotionals, podcasts or Bible studies that have benefited you. Invite them to join you in serving at church or attending a conference. As you nudge them forward, always preserve their freedom to grow at their own pace.

Communicate with Grace

Communication is key in any marriage, and all the more when discussing spiritual matters. Create an environment of openness, grace and trust where your spouse feels safe being vulnerable about their faith. Avoid criticizing or comparing their spiritual maturity to yours. When you discuss theological differences, do so with humility and respect.

Ask open-ended questions to understand your spouse’s perspective:

• How has God been working in your life lately?
• What’s one way I can pray for you this week?
• Is there anything hindering your relationship with God right now?

Listen attentively and affirm their experiences. If they share a struggle or doubt, thank them for their honesty and offer empathy before advice. Let your conversations point them to Christ.

Lead by Example

Never underestimate the impact of your own pursuit of Jesus. Let your life be a living testimony of a vibrant relationship with Him. As you study the Word, implement it in your attitudes, words and actions, especially in your role as a spouse. Confess your sins quickly and extend forgiveness freely. Serve your partner with humility and Christlike love.

A husband has a unique responsibility to be a spiritual leader through sacrificial love and gentle guidance. A wife can demonstrate the power of submission and respect. Regardless of your role, your example has immense potential to inspire.

Leading by example also means modeling authenticity. Don’t put on a facade of perfection, but openly share your own questions and areas for growth. Invite your spouse into your spiritual disciplines and volunteer work. Demonstrate a commitment to church and Christian fellowship. Most of all, love the Lord with an undivided heart.

Give Space and Grace

Bringing out your spouse’s best is a long-term process, not a short-term project. There will be seasons when their passion for God burns bright and stretches when their faith feels dry. Give them space to wrestle with doubts and grow at their own speed. Remember, you are not responsible for their choices or the outcome of their faith.

When your partner fails or pulls away from God, continue to pray, but entrust them to the Lord. Resist the urge to nag, control or enable sinful patterns. Extend grace and forgiveness as God does for you, while maintaining healthy boundaries. Ultimately, their spiritual growth is between them and God. You can till the soil, but only He can make it grow.

Pursue Unity

Finally, intentionally cultivate spiritual unity in your marriage. Pray together frequently, expressing gratitude and bearing each other’s burdens before the Lord. Regularly study the Bible together, even if it’s just a few verses a day. Worship side by side at church and discuss the sermons afterwards. Find ways to serve Christ together through your unique gifts as a couple.

Pursuing intimacy with God as a couple will bind you together and equip you to face life’s challenges in agreement. It will increase your love and respect for each other as you see God’s work in your lives. Best of all, it will bring glory to your Savior as your marriage reflects Christ and the Church.

In the end, only God can transform your partner from the inside out. But by faithfully praying, encouraging and setting an example, you prepare the way for the Holy Spirit’s work. You become a vessel for Christ’s love to flow through you and draw out your spouse’s God-given potential. As you fix your eyes on Jesus together, you will have the joy of seeing each other become more like Him.