Christian Couples: Teammates for Life

As a Christian counselor, I have worked with countless married couples seeking to honor God in their relationship. One of the most important truths I emphasize is that husbands and wives are meant to function as teammates – partners who work together to fulfill God’s purposes for their marriage and family. When couples embrace this biblical perspective, it transforms how they relate to each other and approach life’s challenges.

Created for Partnership

From the very beginning, God designed marriage as a partnership. After creating Adam, God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18). Eve was fashioned to be Adam’s complement – someone who corresponded to him and could come alongside him in the work God had given them to do.

This teamwork was part of God’s “very good” creation (Genesis 1:31). Adam and Eve were to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it” together (Genesis 1:28). Their roles were different but equally valuable. United in love and submission to God, they could fulfill their shared calling.

Sadly, sin shattered the unity and partnership God intended. But through Christ’s redemptive work, God is restoring marriage to its original design. Paul instructs Christian husbands and wives to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). As they lay down their individual agendas and humbly value the other, the two become one – a team that reflects Christ’s sacrificial love for the church.

Pursuing a Common Goal

What unites a team is a shared objective that they work together to achieve. For Christian couples, that overarching goal is to glorify God in their marriage. As the Westminster Catechism states, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.” Husbands and wives have the incredible privilege and responsibility to showcase God’s character and kingdom through how they love and serve one another.

Keeping God’s glory as their “North Star” helps couples navigate decisions and disagreements. Instead of being driven by selfish desires, they can ask: What course of action will most honor the Lord? How can we, as a couple, best advance God’s purposes in this situation? Even when they differ on the specifics, they are still headed in the same direction, guided by the same goal.

Couples glorify God as they cultivate a marriage marked by humility, gentleness, patience, and loving tolerance of each other’s faults. They showcase the gospel as they grant forgiveness, serve sacrificially, and spur one another on to Christlikeness. By God’s grace at work in them, their relationship increasingly reflects the beautiful unity Jesus prayed for: “that they may be one even as we are one” (John 17:22).

Maximizing Each Other’s Strengths

God has given every believer spiritual gifts to use for His glory and the good of the church (1 Corinthians 12:7; 1 Peter 4:10-11). In marriage, God often unites people with complementary strengths that can be a blessing to their relationship and shared ministry.

Think of Priscilla and Aquila in the Bible. This husband-wife team is always mentioned together, working in tandem to host a church in their home, disciple new believers like Apollos, and support the apostle Paul’s missionary efforts (Acts 18:1-3, 18-19, 24-26; Romans 16:3-4). Their individual gifting and roles enhanced their effectiveness as a unit.

Wise couples look for ways to affirm and unleash each other’s God-given abilities. A wife may have a knack for hospitality that creates opportunities for the couple to welcome others into their home. A husband may be a careful researcher who can help the couple make well-informed decisions. Instead of comparing or competing, they celebrate how their individual strengths combine to benefit their marriage and mission.

This teamwork mindset extends to everyday responsibilities as well. Couples work as partners in managing their household, parenting, and serving in their church and community. With a spirit of humility and cooperation, they “bear one another’s burdens” and sync their efforts to row in the same direction (Galatians 6:2).

Facing Challenges Together

Marriage is not always smooth sailing. Couples inevitably encounter trials, from minor annoyances to major crises. But God intends for these challenges to forge greater unity and dependence on Him.

The Bible says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). When couples band together and cling to God, they find strength to withstand the attacks of the world, the flesh, and the devil. Trials become opportunities to support each other, pray together, and deepen their faith.

Maintaining a team perspective is especially vital when couples disagree. Instead of viewing each other as the enemy, they can approach the issue as partners working to find a God-honoring solution. They may need to humbly acknowledge their own faults, patiently hear the other’s perspective, and seek godly counsel together. As they fix their eyes on Jesus, He can grant grace and wisdom to resolve conflicts and restore unity.

Ultimately, couples must remember they are not facing life’s battles alone. Christ, the third strand in their cord, is ever-present to help, strengthen, and guide them. As they abide in Him together, He will produce in them the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (John 15:5; Galatians 5:22-23). These qualities are the glue that binds them together as a team.

Spurring Each Other On

Finally, God designs marriage to provide a built-in support system for spiritual growth and fruitfulness. The Bible instructs couples to “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24). As teammates, they have a special responsibility and opportunity to encourage each other in their walk with Christ.

This may involve praying together, discussing Scripture, and sharing what God is teaching them. It may mean lovingly confronting sin, offering strengthening words, or suggesting a course correction. With humility and grace, they can be instruments in God’s hands to shape each other into the image of Jesus.

Couples can also strategize ways to use their collective time, talents, and resources for God’s kingdom. Perhaps they sense God calling them to open their home to international students, launch a marriage mentoring ministry, or volunteer together at a local outreach. As they dream and scheme as a team, God will multiply their impact for His glory.

The Reward of Teamwork

Building a strong, unified marriage team takes intentionality, hard work, and heaps of God’s grace. It requires dying to self, extending forgiveness, and believing the best about each other. But the rewards are more than worth the effort.

Couples who embrace God’s design experience the joy and strength of true partnership. They find freedom and fruitfulness as they cheer each other on in their God-given roles. And they get to be a compelling picture of Christ’s love to a watching world, drawing others to the Savior.

In a society where marriage is often viewed as a contract between two individuals seeking their own happiness, the teamwork of godly couples is a radical witness. It points to the perfect unity within the Trinity and the unbreakable covenant between Christ and His church. It’s a foretaste of the eternal union believers will enjoy with God and each other in glory.

So, Christian couples, keep spurring each other on to know, love, and serve Jesus together. Keep pursuing unity, even when the world, the flesh, and the devil conspire to divide. And keep holding fast to God’s promise that “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).

As you run the race of life and marriage as teammates, may you hear your Savior say, “Well done, good and faithful servants. Enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:23). The reward will be worth it all.