Across the developed world, there is a significant shift happening: a growing number of young women are not looking forward to marriage or to having children, and a rising share expect to stay single or childless for life. Many still say they like the idea of love and partnership, but they do not see marriage and motherhood as central to a successful or meaningful life in the way previous generations did.
From a Christian standpoint, that should get our attention. Scripture presents marriage and family as good gifts from God, not burdens to be escaped, so the fact that so many young women now feel done with the whole project tells us something deep has gone wrong in how our culture understands relationships, men and women, and long‑term commitment.
What the Numbers Are Telling Us
Researchers tracking marriage patterns in the United States have been sounding the alarm for several years now. Only about one in five 25‑year‑old women today has ever been married, a historic low, and some projections suggest that around one‑third of today’s young adults may reach mid‑life without ever marrying. At the same time, marriage is being pushed later and later, with the average age at first marriage now hovering around the late twenties for women and early thirties for men.
That delay and avoidance show up in family formation as well. Fertility in the United States has fallen to record lows, and researchers consistently link this to the retreat from marriage, since married couples are far more likely to have children than cohabiting or single adults. Surveys of single adults show that a majority are not actively looking for a committed relationship at all, which further pushes both marriage and childbearing into the “maybe someday—if ever” category.
Young Adults and Parenthood Reluctance
When pollsters ask young adults without children how they feel about becoming parents, a noticeable hesitation appears, especially among women. Less than half of young adult women without children say they definitely want kids, while a majority of comparable men still say they do. A significant share of women are either unsure or say outright that they do not want children, reflecting a shift from “of course I’ll be a mom” to “only if everything lines up perfectly—if at all.”
There is also an important gender gap. In recent polling, young men are more likely than young women to count marriage and children among their top life priorities, while women more often rank emotional stability, financial independence, and career fulfillment ahead of family formation. This role reversal—men leaning a bit more into family, women leaning more into autonomy and career—would have surprised earlier generations and hints at deeper cultural and ideological changes.
Teen Girls and Gen Z Women: A Cultural Shift
The trend starts early. Analyses of U.S. high school seniors show that fewer 12th‑grade girls say they expect to marry than in the early 1990s, and girls are now less likely than boys to say they want to marry someday. Many teen girls still hope for love and companionship, but they are quicker than boys to say they would rather skip marriage altogether than end up in a relationship that does not feel equal, safe, or emotionally healthy.
Among Gen Z women in their late teens and twenties, surveys consistently find higher priority placed on mental health, emotional stability, education, and economic security than on marriage or motherhood. When asked to name the key ingredients of a successful life, both young men and women mention things like meaningful work and financial independence, but women tend to rank emotional well‑being higher and family goals lower than men do.
Online Subcultures and “Boy Sobriety”
These attitudes are not just showing up in surveys; they are being reinforced in the online spaces where young women spend their time. Commentators have noticed a TikTok‑driven subculture that celebrates “boy sobriety” or “men‑free seasons,” where young women encourage one another to avoid dating, keep their distance from men, and embrace a life defined by self‑care, career, and female friendships rather than romance and family.
Alongside that are constant feeds of content that highlight the dark side of family life: clips about abusive husbands, bitter divorces, exhausted mothers, and spiraling costs for housing and childcare. For girls who already watched their parents’ marriages struggle or collapse, this nonstop stream of negative stories can make marriage and motherhood look less like a blessing and more like a trap to be escaped at all costs.
Why Many Young Women Are Backing Away
When researchers and journalists actually ask young women why they aren’t excited about marriage or kids, the answers tend to fall into a few recurring themes.
First, there is fear—fear of divorce, fear of repeating the chaos they saw in their parents’ relationships, and fear of being financially and emotionally stranded if a marriage falls apart. In a culture where divorce is common and heavily publicized, many women see marriage as a high‑risk gamble with their future, not a safe covenant under God’s care.
Second, there are real financial pressures. Young adults point to high housing costs, heavy student debt, and the price of childcare as major reasons they doubt they can afford marriage and children, at least not any time soon. Some choose cohabitation or staying single because they believe formal marriage will not significantly improve their financial security, and raising a family just feels out of reach.
Third, there is the desire for autonomy and self‑development. Many young women have been taught that their worth and safety lie primarily in being self‑sufficient—career‑focused, emotionally independent, and not needing anyone. For them, marriage and motherhood feel like threats to hard‑won freedom, time, and self‑care, rather than contexts where God shapes character and gives deep joy.
Finally, there is a growing distrust of men and of marriage as an institution. Some women speak in explicitly ideological terms, viewing marriage as historically oppressive or fearing that any man they marry will eventually become selfish, unfaithful, or controlling. In that frame, staying single or childless looks like a safer moral and emotional choice.
What We Often Leave Out: The Good News About Marriage
Here is what does not get amplified nearly as much: when researchers compare married and unmarried adults, married people consistently report higher levels of life satisfaction and “thriving,” even after controlling for other factors. In particular, studies focused on women have found that, on average, women who marry and have children report more happiness and a deeper sense of meaning and purpose than those who never marry or never have children.
Of course, statistics cannot erase the pain of a bad marriage or the suffering of a difficult home life, and Christians must be honest about sin, abuse, and betrayal. Yet the broad pattern still matters: when men and women enter a stable, committed marriage and raise children together, most say their lives are richer, not poorer, because of it. That finding echoes what Scripture has been saying all along: marriage and family are not human inventions but God’s good design for human flourishing.
A Christian View of the Trend
From an evangelical Christian perspective, the trend of young women “ditching marriage” is not just a social curiosity; it is a spiritual and cultural warning light. In Genesis, God declares that it is not good for man to be alone and creates the one‑flesh union of husband and wife as the foundation for family and society. In Ephesians, marriage is lifted up as a living picture of Christ and the church. When a generation turns away from that vision, something vital is being lost.
At the same time, the fears and frustrations many young women express are not imaginary. They have seen broken vows, absent fathers, and churches that sometimes defended marriage in theory while failing to protect women and children in practice. A faithful Christian response will not simply say, “You should want marriage,” but will ask, “How can the body of Christ display marriages and families that are truly safe, sacrificial, and Christ‑centered?” The gospel calls both men and women to repent of selfishness and to embrace covenant love that reflects Christ’s love for His bride.
Helping the Next Generation Re‑Imagine Marriage
So what can Christian parents, pastors, and mentors do as more young women grow skeptical of marriage and motherhood?
First, tell the whole story. Be honest about the realities of sin, conflict, and suffering in marriage, but also highlight the testimonies of couples who have walked through hardship with Christ and found their union deeper on the other side. Help young women see real‑life examples of healthy, imperfect, grace‑filled marriages where both husband and wife are growing in Christlikeness.
Second, disciple both boys and girls in biblical masculinity and femininity that honors mutual service and sacrificial love. Young women are right to say they will not sign up for a life of one‑sided sacrifice and disrespect; they need to see men who take responsibility, reject porn and selfishness, and willingly lay down their lives as spiritual leaders and servants in their homes.
Third, encourage a balanced view of calling. Education, work, and gifts matter, but they are not ultimate. Help young women see that embracing marriage and motherhood does not erase their talents but gives those talents a place to bless others in a uniquely powerful way. Likewise, prepare young men to value wives as partners, not accessories to their careers.
Finally, pray and trust the Lord’s timing. Not every Christian will marry, and Scripture honors singleness too. But the current wave of fear‑driven, cynicism‑driven singleness is very different from the joyful, kingdom‑focused singleness described in the New Testament. The church’s task is not to pressure every young woman into marriage, but to hold up God’s design clearly, live it credibly, and invite the next generation to receive marriage and family not as a trap, but as a gift from a wise and loving Father.