The Marital Happiness Inventory (MHI)

MARITAL HAPPINESS INVENTORY (MHI)

By Bill Clark, D.Min., Ph.D.

 

This inventory consists of numbered statements to which you will respond True or False. Answer EACH ITEM as honestly as you can. (Note: On statements pertaining to children or family, mark N/A if you do not have children. Your overall profile score will scaled to compensate for these omissions.)

Men’s Statements:

1. My spouse and I are happier than most couples I know.
2. We seem to argue more than other couples.
3. My wife seems to enjoy sex as much as I do.
4. I try to make her feel secure.
5. My spouse often insists on getting her way.
6. The good things in our marriage outweigh the bad.
7. My wife and I have come close to a divorce or separation.
8. My wife and I decide together what rules to set for our children.
9. Our marriage could be characterized by the saying, “She goes her way and I go mine.”
10. My wife is prudish in her attitude about sex.
11. My wife and I understand each other completely.
12. My wife and I have a mutual recreational interest.
13. My wife is my best friend.
14. I believe that I am a good financial manager.
15. I put my family first.
16. I am dissatisfied with our sex life.
17. I have needs that are not being met.
18. I have my sphere of interests and my spouse hers.
19. I need to have my “space.”
20. My wife tells me I don’t meet her needs.
21. My wife tries to look her best.
22. My spouse and I find it hard to resolve problems without losing our tempers.
23. My wife and I don’t have much in common to talk about.
24. My wife and I keep short accounts.
25. My wife doesn’t take enough time to do some of the thing s I like to do.
26. I expect my wife to “pull her load” financially.
27. I believe my wife should have a choice between a career and being a homemaker.
28. About the only time I am with my wife is at meals and bedtime.
29. My wife and I rarely have sexual intercourse.
30. I am quite happily married.
31. My wife and I almost always discuss things together before making an important decision.
32. I feel we have a fair division of labor.
33. My wife does many things to please me.
34. When we argue it seems like it is over the same old things.
35. Even when my spouse is angry, she still seems to understand my viewpoint.
36. My wife seems committed to settling differences when they come up.
37. I wish my wife shared a few more of my interests.
38. I am committed to “training up” our children.
39. There are times that I do not feel a great deal of love or affection for my mate.
40. I am a good father.
41. I trust my wife with our money completely.
42. I believe that my wife and I are in agreement about the discipline of the children.
43. I get pretty discouraged about my marriage sometimes.
44. There are some serious problems in our marriage.
45. My wife shows me admiration.
46. My wife seems to enjoy just being with me.
47. I try to understand my wife when we talk.
48. I try to explain my plans to my wife clearly and completely.
49. My spouse likes to spend her leisure time with me.
50. I try to maintain trust with my wife.
51. My wife’s attitude about sex could be summed up in “What’s the big deal about sex, anyway?”
52. Our marriage could be characterized by the saying, “The couple that plays together stays together.”
53. My marriage could be much happier than it is.
54. I believe that the best father is a good husband.
55. My wife understands my deep need for sex.
56. My wife is proud of me.
57. My wife and I usually agree on the frequency of our lovemaking.
58. “Without my nights out with the boys, I don’t think I could make it” describes our marriage.
59. We can go days without resolving our differences.
60. I believe I take a leadership role in our home
61. My wife has become lazy about her appearance.
62. Our arguments usually end up with someone yelling or crying.
63. I wish my wife tried to look more attractive.
64. I am committed to the moral and educational development of our children.
65. Something my wife and I don’t discuss is sex.
66. I like the way my wife looks most of the time.
67. Our daily life is fall of interesting things to do together.
68. I feel that my wife respects me.
69. I believe my wife is satisfied with the amount of money I presently make.
70. My wife and I sometimes enjoy just sitting down and doing things together.
71. My wife and I rarely go on walks together.
72. I believe it is my job to support my family financially.
73. I make myself accountable to my wife.
74. I believe we should live on what I earn.
75. Trying to work out a family budget is more trouble than it’s worth.
76. I feel as if we live beyond our financial means.
77. My wife and I share at least one mutually appealing activity outside of the home together.
78. I would like to improve the quality of our sexual relationship.
79. I feel I exercise self-discipline in managing our money.
80. Our marriage seems less happy than others.
81. I spend at least one hour a day in some activity with my wife.
82. My wife seems to spend more time with her friends or relatives than with me.
83. The unhappiest moments of my life are often caused by my marriage.
84. Only in emergencies should the wife contribute to the financial support of the family.
85. My wife rarely refuses to have sex when I desire it.
86. I have seriously fantasized about having an affair.
87. I am willing to do what it takes to adequately provide for my family.
88. Our sex life has become routine and boring.
89. I have never regretted my marriage, not ever for a moment.
90. My wife is always trying to get me more involved with our children
91. When I take time off, I try to spend it with my wife and children.
92. I try to help out with the various tasks at home.
93. I have received more out of our marriage than I expected.
94. Our sexual relationship lacks variety and spontaneity.
95. A lot of our arguments seem to be about trivia.
96. I want my children to grow up and become like me.
97. A husband and wife should share the responsibility for housework if both work outside of the home.
98. I believe that family time is important.
99. It seems my wife is very critical of me.
100. A husband should take equal responsibility for feeding and clothing the children.

Women’s Statements

1. My husband understands that affection must come before sex.
2. I feel I can trust my husband.
3. I feel my husband withholds information from me.
4. My husband often tells me that he is proud of me and that I have done a good job.
5. My husband seems concerned about the problems I face, and that he is with me.
6. Hugs and kisses are something my husband often gives me.
7. Our marriage could be described by the saying, “Honesty is the best insurance policy.”
8. It is not uncommon for my husband to call me during the day to see how I’m doing.
9. I’m told often that I’m loved.
10. I get plenty of help around the house from my husband.
11. My husband and I have meaningful conversations on a daily basis.
12. I enjoy our sexual relationship as much as my husband.
13. I feel that I am continually getting to know my husband thoroughly.
14. My conversations with my husband make me feel united to him.
15. My husband insists on having his “space.”
16. My husband feels free to express his needs to me.
17. I make a reasonable attempt to look attractive.
18. My husband is committed to “training up” up our children.
19. My husband exercises self-discipline in managing our money.
20. My husband tries to make enough money to support us.
21. My husband works hard to make me feel secure.
22. My husband shares his interests and feelings with me.
23. My husband acts as if affection is synonymous with sex.
24. I get pretty discouraged about my marriage sometimes.
25. Our relationship is one of honesty and openness.
26. My husband often talks to me on a feeling level.
27. My husband “protects” me by hiding the truth.
28. I believe that behind every man should be an admiring wife.
29. I have never felt better about our marriage than I do now.
30. I have caught my husband in lies before.
31. I resent having to work. My husband should take care of us.
32. My husband makes me feel special and very important to him.
33. My husband usually does what he says he is going to do.
34. It seems easier to confide in a friend than in my spouse.
35. My husband brings me gifts for special occasions.
36. I feel my husband uses my body for his own pleasure.
37. I get my husband’s undivided attention when I need it.
38. If I do not meet my husband’s needs, he doesn’t try to meet mine.
39. My husband openly shares his feelings with me.
40. I feel that I am taken for granted by my husband.
41. The things my husband did to please me during our courtship have diminished.
42. There are some serious problems in our marriage.
43. Our conversation is marked by openness and honesty.
44. My husband tells me I don’t meet his needs.
45. When I look good, he feels good about me.
46. “Caring partners converse in a caring way,” describes our communication with one another.
47. I feel like I am always trying to get my husband involved with our children.
48. I show my husband that I admire him.
49. He doesn’t try to understand me when we talk. He tries to change me.
50. My opinions and feelings are usually respected in our conversations.
51. My husband sees nothing wrong with “little white lies.
52. My husband is committed to the moral and educational development of our children.
53. My husband explains his plans clearly and completely.
54. My husband is a good father.
55. I feel we are supported and taken care of financially.
56. My husband is willing to set aside time to talk with me.
57. My husband and I agree on the discipline of the children.
58. I feel quite critical of my husband.
59. I feel that we have a fair division of labor.
60. My husband keeps most of his feelings inside.
61. Even when I am with my husband I feel lonely.
62. My husband takes a leadership role in the family.
63. My husband takes care of our basic necessities.
64. My marriage could be much happier than it is.
65. I respect my husband.
66. My spouse and I frequently sit down and talk about the day we had.
67. Our disagreements usually end up with someone yelling, crying, or insulting the other.
68. Our conversation often becomes a win-lose proposition.
69. My husband tries to maintain trust in our relationship.
70. My husband makes positive comments about my appearance.
71. My husband is generally contributing to the well-being of our children.
72. I believe we should live on what my husband makes.
73. My husband believes that family time is important.
74. My husband disciplines our children well.
75. My husband is willing to do what it takes to provide for our family.
76. I’m proud of my husband.
77. I believe that attractiveness is what you do with what you have.
78. I appreciate my husband for what he already is and not for what he could become.
79. I am usually well aware of my husband’s plans.
80. I am pleased with the amount of money my husband makes.
81. My husband demonstrates his care for me by a steady flow of words, cards, gifts, and common courtesies.
82. My husband tends to be vague and ambiguous when he answers me.
83. My husband listens to me with sensitivity, interest, and concern.
84. I believe that my attractiveness is a vital ingredient to the success of my marriage.
85. I feel like my husband has given me a choice between having a career and being a homemaker.
86. I feel my husband makes himself accountable to me.
87. My husband has a very positive influence on our children.
88. Our conversation is characterized as being more constructive than destructive.
89. My husband puts his family first.
90. I try to create a home that is peaceful and quiet.
91. I want my children to grow up to be like their father.
92. My husband makes me feel secure.
93. I am included in on the planning for our family.
94. My husband just won’t talk to me.
95. My husband helps with the unpleasant tasks at home.
96. We seem to argue more than most couples.
97. I have needs that are not being met.
98. Sometimes my husband just can’t understand how I feel.
99. I don’t feel the need to “check up” on my husband.
100. I feel that my husband does not understand all the work I do each day.

 

SCORING INSTRUCTIONS: Compare your answers carefully to the scoring key. (Be sure that you are using the proper key) For every answer that matches the scoring key, give yourself one point. Total all of the points for your test score then locate where your score falls on the Profile Scale. A Personal Application section follows the Scoring Keys.

 

PROFILE SCALE

(Married with children)

85-100A strong and healthy marriage marked by a consistent effort on both spouse’s parts to meet one another’s needs.

70-84Marked by general dissatisfaction but periods of happiness. Inconsistent efforts on one or both spouse’s parts to meet the other’s basic needs.

69and below Marked distress, tension, and conflict. Chronic discontent and unhappiness. May be thoughts of separation or divorce. Poor prognosis.

(Married without children)

72-87A strong and healthy marriage marked by a consistent effort on both spouse’s parts to meet one another’s needs

56-71Marked by general dissatisfaction but periods of happiness. Inconsistent efforts on one or both spouse’s parts to meet the other’s basic needs

55 and below Marked distress, tension, and conflict. Chronic discontent and unhappiness. May be thoughts of separation or divorce. Poor prognosis.

 

SCORING KEY FOR WOMEN

1. True
2. True
3. False
4. True
5. True
6. True
7. True
8. True
9. True
10. True
11. True
12. True
13. True
14. True
15. False
16. True
17. True
18. True
19. True
20. True
21. True
22. True
23. False
24. False
25. True
26. True
27. False
28. True
29. True
30. False
31. True
32. True
33. True
34. False
35. True
36. False
37. True
38. False
39. True
40. False
41. False
42. False
43. True
44. False
45. True
46. True
47. False
48. True
49. False
50. True
51. False
52. True
53. True
54. True
55. True
56. True
57. True
58. False
59. True
60. False
61. False
62. True
63. True
64. False
65. True
66. True
67. False
68. False
69. True
70. True
71. True
72. True
73. True
74. True
75. True
76. True
77. True
78. True
79. True
80. True
81. True
82. False
83. True
84. True
85. True
86. True
87. True
88. True
89. True
90. True
91. True
92. True
93. True
94. False
95. True
96. False
97. False
98. False
99. True
100. False

SCORING KEY FOR MEN

1. True
2. False
3. True
4. True
5. False
6. True
7. False
8. True
9. False
10. False
11. True
12. True
13. True
14. True
15. True
16. False
17. False
18. False
19. False
20. False
21. True
22. False
23. False
24. True
25. False
26. False
27. True
28. False
29. False
30. True
31. True
32. True
33. True
34. False
35. True
36. True
37. False
38. True
39. False
40. True
41. True
42. True
43. False
44. False
45. True
46. True
47. True
48. True
49. True
50. True
51. False
52. True
53. False
54. True
55. True
56. True
57. True
58. False
59. False
60. True
61. False
62. False
63. False
64. True
65. False
66. True
67. True
68. True
69. True
70. True
71. False
72. True
73. True
74. True
75. False
76. False
77. True
78. false
79. True
80. false
81. True
82. False
83. False
84. True
85. True
86. False
87. True
88. False
89. True
90. False
91. True
92. True
93. True
94. False
95. False
96. True
97. True
98. True
99. False
100. True

 

PERSONAL APPLICATION

Now that you have completed the Marital Happiness Inventory (MHI), you have three options. One, you can elect to do nothing and take the risk of whatever comes. Two, you can deny that there are any problems. Or three, you can determine that you are going to do whatever it takes to change the course of your marriage and your life; you are not going to accept status quo but become the marital partner that you should be.

1. Review the inventory statements that reveal a particular weakness or problem in your marriage and list them by degree of severity.
2. What specific suggestions could you make to your spouse to correct the problem(s)?
3. Determine to make time to sit down with your spouse and review one another’s list. Be honest about how you see your relationship, but stay constructive and tactful in your discussion. Make a commitment to incorporate the changes that you have discussed.

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