Categories: Marriage

Fight for Your Marriage

Marriage is hard. If you’ve been married longer than a few weeks, you already know this. There are days when the “for better or worse” part of your vows feels a lot more “worse” than “better.” Maybe you’re in one of those seasons right now, wondering if it’s worth the fight. As a Christian, you might even feel extra pressure—shouldn’t our marriages be stronger? Shouldn’t faith make it easier?

But here’s the truth: God never promised marriage would be easy. He did promise to be with us in the struggle. And He calls us to fight for our marriages—not against our spouses, but for the sacred covenant we made before Him. If you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and fight for your marriage, this article is for you.

Why Fight for Your Marriage?

Marriage isn’t just a contract; it’s a covenant—a sacred promise between you, your spouse, and God. When you said “I do,” you weren’t just agreeing to live together; you were pledging to love, serve, and honor each other for life, no matter what comes your way. That covenant is worth fighting for.

God’s heart is for marriages to last, to thrive, and to reflect the love Christ has for the church. Fighting for your marriage honors God, protects your family, and can change the course of generations to come.

Common Enemies of Marriage

Before you can fight for your marriage, you need to recognize the real enemies. Spoiler alert: your spouse isn’t one of them! Our struggle isn’t against each other, but against the spiritual forces and temptations that try to tear us apart.

Here are some of the biggest threats to your marriage:

  • Selfishness: When we put our own needs above our spouse’s, unity breaks down.

  • Unforgiveness: Holding onto past hurts builds walls instead of bridges.

  • Poor Communication: Misunderstandings can spiral into big problems.

  • Outside Influences: Friends, family, or even social media can stir up trouble if you let them into your private issues.

  • Spiritual Neglect: When you drift from God, you drift from each other.

Key Ways to Fight for Your Marriage

1. Stay—Even When It’s Hard

Part of fighting for your marriage is simply sticking around when things get tough. Don’t run from conflict; stay and work through it, trusting that God can bring good even from pain.

2. Communicate with Kindness and Honesty

Speak the truth in love, listen more than you talk, and aim for understanding, not just being right.

  • Avoid blanket statements like “you never” or “you always.”

  • Don’t accuse or blame; instead, ask questions and seek clarity.

  • Remember: the goal is unity, not victory.

3. Forgive—Again and Again

Every marriage faces the crisis of sin—yours and your spouse’s. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s essential for healing and growth. It’s not a one-time event, but a continual choice to let go of resentment and move forward together.

4. Put God First

Your marriage will only be as strong as your relationship with God. Pray together. Read Scripture together. Ask God to guide your steps and soften your hearts. When Christ is at the center, you’ll find strength and wisdom you never knew you had.

5. Resist Selfishness—Serve Each Other

Marriage is about mutual sacrifice. Out-serve your spouse. Put their needs ahead of your own, and watch love grow.

6. Protect Your Marriage

Don’t air your dirty laundry to friends, family, or online. Work out problems together first. If you need help, seek wise, godly counsel—not just someone who will take your side.

  • Guard your marriage from emotional or physical affairs.

  • Set boundaries with people or activities that threaten your unity.

7. Seek Help When Needed

There’s no shame in asking for help. Sometimes you need a trusted pastor, counselor, or mature Christian couple to walk with you through tough times. Don’t wait until things are falling apart—reach out early and often.

8. Pray—Relentlessly

Prayer is your greatest weapon. Pray for your spouse, your marriage, and yourself. Ask God to change hearts, heal wounds, and restore what’s broken. Even if you’re the only one praying, God hears you.

Perseverance: The Secret Sauce

Perseverance is what separates marriages that last from those that don’t. It’s easy to love when things are good. The real test is loving through the hard times. Remember your vows: “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.” That’s not just poetic language—it’s a call to do whatever it takes to honor your covenant.

Don’t let your feelings dictate your actions. Love is a choice, not just an emotion. There will be days when you don’t feel in love, but you can still act in love.

Real Stories, Real Hope

You’re not alone in your struggles. Many couples have faced what seemed like impossible odds and seen God restore their marriages. Some have endured years of separation, infidelity, or deep hurt, only to find healing and reconciliation through prayer, perseverance, and putting Christ at the center.

One testimony shares, “We had reached our end, after nineteen years of marriage and on the brink of divorce for the fourth time…But the one thing the Lord would not let me let go of was hope. Hope was what Janet had given up on, but as the Lord worked healing into her life, hope began to come alive again for her…we discovered while I thought I was fighting to save our marriage, together we were actually rebuilding it.”

Practical Steps to Start Fighting for Your Marriage Today

  • Pray daily for your spouse and your marriage.

  • Commit to honest, kind communication—even when it’s hard.

  • Forgive past hurts and ask for forgiveness where needed.

  • Set aside time each week to connect—date nights, walks, or just talking.

  • Read Scripture together and seek God’s wisdom.

  • Reach out for help if you’re stuck—don’t wait for a crisis.

  • Remember your spouse is not the enemy; fight together against the real enemies of your marriage.

What If You’re the Only One Fighting?

Sometimes, only one spouse wants to fight for the marriage. Don’t lose heart. God can do amazing things with even a mustard seed of faith. Your perseverance, prayers, and Christ-like love can soften hearts and open doors to reconciliation. But even if your spouse doesn’t change, you will grow in faith and character as you trust God with your marriage.

A Prayer for Your Marriage

Lord, our marriage is struggling. We need You. Help us to love as You love, to forgive as You forgive, and to serve as You served. Heal our hurts, restore our joy, and draw us closer to You and to each other. Give us strength to persevere and wisdom to know what to do next. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Final Thoughts: Don’t Give Up

Marriage is worth fighting for. Not just for your own happiness, but for God’s glory, your family’s legacy, and the example you set for others. Don’t believe the lie that your marriage is too far gone. With God, nothing is impossible.

Choose today to fight for your marriage—not with anger or blame, but with prayer, perseverance, humility, and love. God is with you, and He delights in restoring what seems broken beyond repair.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

You’re not alone. God is fighting for you, too.

Bill

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