Fight for Your Marriage

Marriage is under attack in our society today. Divorce rates remain high, even among Christians. Many couples give up at the first sign of trouble, believing the lie that if it’s not easy, it’s not meant to be. But God’s design for marriage is much different. He intends for marriage to be a lifelong covenant, a picture of Christ’s love for the church. As Christians, we are called to fight for our marriages, not give up at the first sign of difficulty.

Marriage is a Covenant, not a Contract

In our culture, marriage is often viewed as a contract that can be broken if one party is not holding up their end of the bargain. But the Bible presents marriage as a sacred covenant, a promise made before God to love and cherish one’s spouse until death parts them. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). The language of “holding fast” conveys the idea of being glued together, permanently united. Jesus affirmed this view of marriage, saying “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Marriage is not a trial run or a temporary arrangement. It is a lifelong commitment. As Christians, we must fight against the cultural mindset that sees marriage as disposable. Our marriages are meant to reflect the unbreakable covenant between Christ and the church. Giving up at the first sign of trouble is not an option.

Marriage Reflects Christ’s Love for the Church

The Bible is clear that marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ’s love for the church. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). A husband’s love for his wife is to mirror the sacrificial, unconditional love of Christ. Wives are called to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). This doesn’t mean blind obedience, but a willing yielding out of reverence for Christ. The church submits to Christ’s loving leadership, and a wife is to do the same with her husband. When a marriage is in trouble, it can be easy to focus on our own needs and desires. But as Christians, we are called to put the needs of our spouse first, just as Christ put our needs before his own. Fighting for your marriage means dying to self and loving your spouse as Christ loves you.

Satan Wants to Destroy Your Marriage

The devil is real, and he is actively working to destroy marriages. “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). One of Satan’s primary targets is the family unit. He knows that strong, godly marriages and families are a threat to his kingdom. The enemy will use any means necessary to sow discord and division in a marriage – temptation, bitterness, unforgiveness, selfishness, and more. He wants to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). Couples who are not actively fighting for their marriage are easy prey for the devil’s schemes. But we don’t have to be afraid. “Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world” (1 John 4:4). When we put on the full armor of God and fight the enemy with the power of the Holy Spirit, we can stand firm against his attacks. But we must be vigilant and fight, not passively accept defeat.

Fighting for Your Marriage is a Spiritual Battle

Ephesians 6:12 tells us that “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” When your marriage is in trouble, it’s easy to get caught up in the immediate conflict with your spouse. But we must remember that there are unseen spiritual forces at work, seeking to destroy what God has joined together. Praying together as a couple is one of the most powerful weapons we have. “Again, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven” (Matthew 18:19). Lifting your marriage in prayer, asking God to fight for you and protect your covenant, is essential. Pray for your spouse, pray for your relationship, and pray for the strength to keep fighting. Seeking godly counsel is also important. “Where there is no guidance, a people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14). Find a mature Christian couple who can speak truth and wisdom into your marriage. Don’t try to go it alone. Humble yourself and get the support you need to keep fighting.

Forgiveness is Key in the Fight

Inevitably, in any marriage, there will be hurt, disappointment, and sin. The question is not if these things will happen, but how you will respond. Unforgiveness is like a cancer that eats away at a marriage. It breeds bitterness, resentment and distance. But as Christians, we are called to forgive as we have been forgiven. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiveness is not a feeling, it’s a choice. It’s saying, “I will not hold this against you anymore. I will not use this to hurt you or punish you. I’m letting it go. “Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing sin. It means releasing the other person from the debt they owe you and entrusting them to God. It’s the only way to move forward and heal a broken marriage. Unforgiveness only keeps you stuck in the past. Forgiveness is an act of faith, trusting God to work in your spouse’s heart and in your own.

Your Marriage is Worth Fighting For

When your marriage is in crisis, it can be tempting to give up. The pain and conflict feel unbearable. You may feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked. But God’s plan for your marriage is worth fighting for. Your relationship is a living parable of Christ’s love for the church. It’s a powerful witness to the world of God’s redeeming power. Your marriage is worth fighting for because your spouse is worth fighting for. They are a precious gift from God, entrusted to you to love and cherish. When you said, “I do”, you made a covenant promise to be there for them, to love them through thick and thin. Don’t break that promise. Keep fighting. Your marriage is worth fighting for because your family is worth fighting for. Children thrive in a home with two parents who love each other and love them. Your marriage sets the tone for the whole family. When you fight for your marriage, you are fighting for your children’s future. You are showing them what true love looks like. Your marriage is worth fighting for because you are worth fighting for. God has a purpose and a plan for your life together. He wants to use your marriage to grow you in holiness, to make you more like Christ. The struggles you face are not meaningless. God is at work, shaping and refining you through the fire. Don’t give up on what He is doing.

Marriage is under attack, but as Christians, we have the power to fight back. We serve a God who specializes in redeeming broken things. He can restore what the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). He can make all things new (Revelation 21:5). So take heart, weary warrior. Keep fighting for your marriage. The battle is worth it. Your love is worth it. Your family is worth it. Your God is worth it. He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Keep fighting and trust Him for the victory.