How To Really Date Your Wife

Dating within marriage is an essential practice for maintaining a healthy, vibrant, and God-honoring relationship. For Christian husbands, dating their wives is not just about spending time together but also about nurturing the marital bond, fostering spiritual growth, and demonstrating Christ-like love. Here are some principles and practical tips to help Christian husbands date their wives effectively.

Prioritize Your Relationship

One of the most critical aspects of dating your wife is making your relationship a priority. In the busyness of life, it’s easy to let work, children, and other responsibilities take precedence. However, Ephesians 5:25-29 reminds husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, which involves sacrificial love and prioritizing her needs.

Practical Tips:

• Set a Regular Date Night: Establish a weekly or bi-weekly date night. This regular time together helps ensure that your relationship remains a priority.
• Plan Ahead: Show your wife that you value your time together by planning your dates in advance. This could involve making reservations, arranging childcare, or simply setting aside time in your schedule.

Cultivate Friendship and Intimacy

A strong marriage is built on a foundation of friendship and intimacy. Proverbs 5:18-19 encourages husbands to rejoice in their wives and be captivated by their love. Dating your wife should be an opportunity to deepen your friendship and intimacy.

Practical Tips:

• Engage in Meaningful Conversations: Use your date nights to talk about your dreams, goals, and experiences. Ask open-ended questions and listen actively to your wife.
• Try New Activities Together: Explore new hobbies or activities that you both enjoy. This could be anything from cooking classes to hiking, which can help you bond over shared experiences.

Show Appreciation and Affection

Expressing appreciation and affection is vital in making your wife feel loved and valued. Ephesians 5:33 instructs husbands to love their wives as they love themselves, which includes showing affection and appreciation.

Practical Tips:

• Compliment Her: Regularly tell your wife what you appreciate about her. Compliment her appearance, her character, and her actions.
• Physical Affection: Hold hands, hug, and kiss your wife often. Physical touch is a powerful way to express love and affection.

Be Intentional and Thoughtful

Intentionality and thoughtfulness go a long way in making your wife feel cherished. Philippians 2:3-4 encourages believers to look out for the interests of others, which applies to marriage as well.

Practical Tips:

• Plan Special Surprises: Occasionally surprise your wife with something special, such as a handwritten note, flowers, or a spontaneous outing.
• Pay Attention to Her Preferences: Take note of what your wife enjoys and incorporate those elements into your dates. Whether it’s her favorite restaurant, a movie she’s been wanting to see, or a particular activity she loves, showing that you pay attention to her preferences demonstrates thoughtfulness.

Foster Spiritual Growth Together

A Christ-centered marriage involves growing together spiritually. Ephesians 5:26-27 speaks of Christ sanctifying the church, and husbands are called to lead their wives spiritually.

Practical Tips:

• Pray Together: Make it a habit to pray together regularly. This could be during your date nights or at other times throughout the week.
• Study the Bible Together: Choose a book of the Bible or a devotional to read and discuss together. This can help you grow in your faith and deepen your spiritual connection.

Balance Fun and Seriousness

While it’s important to have fun and enjoy each other’s company, it’s also crucial to address serious matters and support each other through challenges. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that there is a time for everything, including both joy and reflection.

Practical Tips:

• Mix Up Your Dates: Alternate between light-hearted, fun dates and more serious, reflective ones. For example, you could go to a comedy show one week and have a deep, meaningful conversation over coffee the next.
• Support Each Other: Use your date nights as an opportunity to support each other through life’s challenges. Be a listening ear and offer encouragement and advice when needed.

Maintain Physical and Emotional Boundaries

Even within marriage, it’s important to maintain healthy physical and emotional boundaries to protect your relationship. 1 Corinthians 6:18 and 1 Timothy 4:12 emphasize the importance of purity and setting an example in conduct.

Practical Tips:

• Set Boundaries with Others: Be mindful of your interactions with members of the opposite sex. Avoid situations that could lead to temptation or misunderstandings.
• Communicate Openly: Discuss and agree on boundaries that will help protect your marriage. This could include how you handle friendships, work relationships, and social media interactions.

Seek Counsel and Accountability

Proverbs 11:14 and Proverbs 15:22 highlight the importance of seeking wise counsel and having a multitude of advisors. In marriage, it’s beneficial to seek counsel and accountability from trusted friends, mentors, or a Christian counselor.

Practical Tips:

• Join a Couples’ Group: Participate in a small group or Bible study with other couples. This can provide support, encouragement, and accountability.
• Seek Professional Help: If you’re facing challenges in your marriage, don’t hesitate to seek help from a Christian counselor. They can provide guidance and tools to strengthen your relationship.

Reflect on Your Marriage Regularly

Regular reflection on your marriage can help you identify areas for growth and celebrate your progress. Lamentations 3:40 encourages us to examine our ways and return to the Lord, which can be applied to evaluating our marriages.

Practical Tips:

• Have Regular Check-Ins: Set aside time to discuss your marriage and how you’re both feeling. This could be a monthly or quarterly check-in where you talk about what’s going well and what could be improved.
• Celebrate Milestones: Celebrate your anniversaries and other significant milestones. Reflect on your journey together and thank God for His faithfulness.

Keep Christ at the Center

Ultimately, the most important aspect of dating your wife is keeping Christ at the center of your marriage. Colossians 3:17 reminds us to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Practical Tips:

• Worship Together: Attend church services together and participate in worship. This can help you stay connected to God and each other.
• Serve Together: Find ways to serve others together, whether it’s through your church, community, or other ministries. Serving together can strengthen your bond and help you live out your faith.

Dating your wife is a vital practice for maintaining a healthy, loving, and Christ-centered marriage. By prioritizing your relationship, cultivating friendship and intimacy, showing appreciation and affection, being intentional and thoughtful, fostering spiritual growth, balancing fun and seriousness, maintaining boundaries, seeking counsel and accountability, reflecting on your marriage, and keeping Christ at the center, you can build a strong and lasting marriage that honors God. Remember, the goal is not just to have a happy marriage but to glorify God through your relationship and to reflect Christ’s love to the world.