Key Goals for Exceptional Relationships

According to relationship experts David Bradford and Carole Robin, who taught the legendary “Interpersonal Dynamics” course at Stanford, exceptional relationships are characterized by authenticity, vulnerability, honest communication, and a commitment to each other’s growth. Building and maintaining exceptional relationships requires intentional effort to deepen the connection over time.

Be your authentic self and allow others to do the same. In exceptional relationships, both people feel they can be fully themselves without holding back significant parts of who they are. This requires vulnerability and trust that self-disclosures will not be used against you.

Engage in open, honest communication. Exceptional relationships require the ability to express your true thoughts and feelings, even when it’s uncomfortable. This includes being willing to have difficult conversations and deal with conflict productively.

Demonstrate empathy and seek to understand each other. Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Listen to understand their experiences and feelings without judgment.

Invest in each other’s growth and development. Exceptional relationships involve a commitment to helping each other learn, improve and become your best selves. Give caring, constructive feedback and support each other’s goals.

Establish trust through consistency and follow-through. Do what you say you will do. Be someone the other person can count on and confide in. Trust is essential and must be earned through dependable actions over time.

Respect each other’s boundaries and independence. Though close, recognize you are still separate people with some different needs and maintain aspects of your own lives. Avoid being overly possessive or codependent.

Appreciate each other and express gratitude. Make a habit of noticing and acknowledging the good qualities in the other person. Show appreciation for their contributions to your life and the relationship.

Be willing to be vulnerable. Opening up and sharing your authentic thoughts, feelings and desires is essential for deepening the connection. Start with small disclosures and build up to more significant ones as trust grows.

Maintain your relationship with small, consistent actions. Exceptional relationships require ongoing effort and care. Make time for each other, have meaningful conversations, and continue doing the little things that make the other person feel loved and supported.

Building exceptional relationships requires intentional effort, strong communication skills, emotional intelligence, and a genuine commitment to understanding and supporting each other. With time and care, many of our important relationships have the potential to become truly exceptional.