Laying a Good Foundation in Your Child’s Life—Part 2

Key Thought: Laying a good foundation during your child’s formative years is critically important indetermining who and what they will become as an adult.

Quick Review: The fundamental problem with any parenting approach centers on the issue of control. The battle forcontrol begins early in a child’s life. Control is power.

Three Basic Parenting Approaches:

1. Permissive (Freedom without limits; gives up too much control to the child)

The Helicopter.

Parent(s) tend to be over-protective or enmeshed in their child’s life. Motivated out of fear of child being hurt emotionally or physically. Parents easily manipulated by guilt. Tendency to avoid conflict—over-reliance on talk versus other corrective methods. Home is child-centered rather than parent-centered.

The Workaholic.

Parent(s) are overly busy, stressed, tired due to commitment to work and extracurricular activities; unwilling or unmotivated to set age-appropriate limits. Parent has tendency to be self-absorbed or indifferent to training their child. May hold the belief that the child can manage himself.

2. Domineering

(Limits without freedom; gives too little control to the child)

The Drill Sergeant

Parent(s) have strong need to control every facet of their child’s life. Believe that their child is incapable of making responsible decisions. Fearful child will ruin his life or parents’ reputation. Parents reduce their anxiety by beingover-controlling.

The Bully

Parent(s) overreact in harsh manner when inconvenienced, challenged or frustrated by their child. Usually due to the emotional “baggage” carried by the parent that is acted-out on the child. Parent(s) tend to be cold distant, disapproving, and angry in relationship to their child.

3. Biblical (Freedom within limits—give the child control but on the parent’s terms)

Gen. 2:15-17  God set boundaries for Adam and Eve, but they were able to make choices within those limits. Consequences were established for violating those limits.

Child-training is motivated by love and attempts to foster a genuine, sincere love for God and man. Parent(s) relationship with child marked by mutual respect, acceptance and warmth.

Timothy: the product of biblical parenting approach

Acts 16:1 “Then he came to Derbe and Lystra. And behold, a certain disciple was there named Timothy, the son of a certain Jewish woman who believed, but his father was Greek.” (i.e. the reality of Jesus Christ was first realized in Timothy’s mother which then became internalized in him)

2 Timothy 3:15 “..and from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” (i.e. Timothy was taught the Word (informally and formally) in hishome at an early age.)

2 Timothy 1:5 “ … when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which first dwelt (i.e. lit. ‘to dwell in’or inhabit as one’s abode) in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.” (i.e. Both his grandmother and mother modeled their faith daily before young Timothy.)

Philippians 2:22 “But you know his proven character, that as a son with his father he served me in the gospel.” (i.e.the finished product of biblical parenting)

 

© Copyright 2022, North Alabama Christian Counseling, LLC, All Rights Reserved.