Below is a 30-item inventory designed to assess communication skills in marriage. Each item is rated on a 5-point Likert scale:

  • 1 = Strongly Disagree

  • 2 = Disagree

  • 3 = Neutral

  • 4 = Agree

  • 5 = Strongly Agree

Inventory Items:

Listening Skills

  1. I actively listen to my spouse without interrupting.

  2. I paraphrase what I hear to confirm understanding.

  3. I validate my spouse’s feelings, even when I disagree.

  4. I listen to understand, not just to respond.

  5. I can identify and respond appropriately to my spouse’s non-verbal cues.

Expressing Feelings

  1. I express my emotions clearly and respectfully.

  2. I use “I” statements instead of blaming or criticizing.

  3. I can express my feelings without becoming defensive.

  4. My non-verbal communication matches my spoken words.

  5. I can identify and articulate my emotions during disagreements.

Conflict Resolution

  1. I address conflicts promptly rather than avoiding them.

  2. I can discuss difficult topics without escalating tension.

  3. My spouse and I work together to find mutually acceptable solutions.

  4. I remain calm and respectful during disagreements.

  5. I am willing to forgive and seek reconciliation after conflicts.

Problem-Solving

  1. My spouse and I collaborate effectively to solve problems.

  2. We set clear goals when addressing challenges together.

  3. We compromise when our opinions differ.

  4. We focus on the issue at hand without bringing up past grievances.

  5. We celebrate small victories in resolving marital issues.

Affirmation and Support

  1. I regularly affirm my spouse through words of encouragement.

  2. I express appreciation for my spouse’s efforts and contributions.

  3. I make time to check in emotionally with my spouse daily.

  4. My spouse feels supported by my actions and words.

  5. I am intentional about showing affection through both words and gestures.

Clarity in Communication

  1. I clearly communicate my needs and expectations to my spouse.

  2. My spouse and I clarify misunderstandings quickly.

  3. We ensure that we are on the same page before making decisions.

  4. We avoid assumptions by asking clarifying questions during discussions.

  5. We respect each other’s perspectives, even when they differ from our own.

Scoring Key:

To score the inventory, add up the ratings for all 30 items (maximum score: 150). The total score reflects your overall marital communication skills:

  • A score between 121–150 indicates excellent communication skills, suggesting that you and your spouse have a strong ability to connect, resolve conflicts, and support one another effectively.

  • A score between 91–120 reflects good communication skills but reveals areas where improvement could enhance your relationship further.

  • A score between 61–90 suggests moderate communication challenges that may be causing strain in your relationship; working on specific skills could help improve understanding and connection.

  • A score between 30–60 points to significant difficulties in communication, indicating a need for focused effort or possibly seeking guidance from a counselor or trusted mentor.

Next Steps

After completing the inventory:

  1. Identify areas where you scored lower (1s or 2s) and discuss these with your spouse as opportunities for growth.

  2. Celebrate areas where you scored higher (4s or 5s), as these represent strengths within your relationship.

  3. Set actionable goals for improvement, such as practicing active listening, using “I” statements, or addressing conflicts more constructively.

This inventory is designed as a tool for self-reflection and growth, helping couples strengthen their communication patterns for a healthier, more fulfilling marriage!