Relationship Coaching

Marriage can be one of life’s greatest blessings, a companionship designed by God to be a wellspring of joy, comfort, and spiritual growth. However, as many seasoned couples will attest, every marriage encounters hurdles—times when hearts feel distant, conflict repeats itself, or habits threaten to erode the love and intimacy God intended. In recent years, research, especially from Laura Doyle’s 2025 State of Marriage industry study, has shown that traditional couples counseling doesn’t always provide the long-term help couples hope for, and a new approach—relationship coaching—is rising up to fill that gap. Let’s explore why relationship coaching is gaining momentum, what makes it different, and why it can be a biblical and practical avenue for restoring and growing healthy, Christ-centered marriages.

The Limitations of Traditional Counseling

Many Christians turn to counseling when trouble appears in their marriage, often on the advice of pastors, friends, or family. While counseling plays an important role in addressing serious psychological issues or past trauma, recent data shows that for many couples, counseling doesn’t generate lasting transformation. According to Laura Doyle’s industry study, 44.1% of women sought out couples counseling, but a startling 67% of them reported no improvement in their marriage. Only 19% found short-term benefit, with most seeing those improvements vanish within a year—resulting in 86% viewing counseling as ineffective for long-term marital satisfaction. Individual counseling fared no better: 82% of women experienced no lasting improvement in their marital relationship.

Why is this? Counseling often takes a retrospective, issue-focused approach, digging into problems and past wounds rather than focusing on actionable steps for present and future growth. While this has value, many couples grow weary of processing pain and never reach the breakthrough of learning how to love and honor each other daily, as Christ taught. The cycle of blame, disappointment, and “talking about talking” can leave couples stuck.

What is Relationship Coaching?

Relationship coaching takes a different tack. Rather than rehashing hurts or diagnosing problems, coaching focuses on skill-building, encouragement, and helping couples (or often, individuals within the couple) identify practical steps to foster intimacy, communication, and partnership. Coaches help clients set goals, practice proven relationship skills, and offer spiritual encouragement—all oriented around hope, growth, and the future.

Unlike counseling, which is often open-ended and oriented toward “fixing” something that’s broken, coaching is about moving forward. For Christian couples, this fits beautifully with biblical wisdom. We are called to “run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 12:1-2), not our past. Coaches serve as guides in this race, encouraging and equipping you to love as Christ loves and to heal, not by ruminating, but by acting—by building trust, showing respect, and extending grace.

Emotional Intimacy and the Six Intimacy Skills™

One of the most talked-about developments championed by Laura Doyle and her team is skill-based coaching, especially around emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy means truly knowing, understanding, and connecting with your spouse on a deep level—something that helps guard against loneliness, one of the top issues flagged by women in the 2025 survey.

The Six Intimacy Skills™ introduced in Doyle’s coaching program are practical, biblically aligned tools that anyone can learn and employ to nurture connection in marriage. While specifics may vary among marriage coaches, the essential principles usually include:

Cherishing your spouse and expressing gratitude
Respecting and trusting your partner
Being relationally available and emotionally present
Taking care of yourself so you can pour into your marriage with a full heart
Practicing forgiveness and grace
Inviting fun, play, and prayer into your relationship

Notice how closely these echo biblical exhortations for marriage: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32), and “Let all that you do be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14).

Why Couples Are Turning to Relationship Coaching

So, why this shift away from traditional counseling toward coaching? The answer is straightforward: couples are craving more than just relief from conflict—they want practical hope, tools that work, and support that keeps them moving closer together, not just examining their distance.

The research shows that most people found counseling didn’t repair or revitalize their relationship—at best, it provided a temporary patch. Coaching, however, offers a way to actively and intentionally build up a marriage. It places emphasis on learning, growth, and relationship “fitness”—not on rehashing grievances. For Christians, this resonates with the biblical call to be doers of the word, not merely hearers (James 1:22).

Those who pursue relationship coaching often report:

Greater emotional connection and intimacy
Reduced conflict and improved communication
A renewed sense of hope, optimism, and joy in their marriage
A feeling that their marriage can not just survive, but thrive
New confidence in applying practical skills, even to “hopeless” situations

God’s Blueprint: Coaching as Discipleship for Marriage

It’s striking how much relationship coaching mirrors the discipling process so cherished in Christian faith. Just as a wise mentor invests in a younger believer, helping them apply biblical truth and grow in Christlikeness, so too does a marriage coach come alongside you, providing support, accountability, and fresh perspective—rooted in hope.

Coaching isn’t magic, and it’s not a shortcut. It honors the truth that transformation involves both God’s grace and our effort: “Work out your salvation…for it is God who works in you to will and to act” (Philippians 2:12-13). Similarly, relationship skills are learned and practiced, not just prayed for, though prayer should undergird every effort.

Choosing a Christian Relationship Coach

Not every coach takes a Christ-centered approach, so if your faith is central to your life and marriage, seek a coach who shares your values. A Christian marriage coach will:

Encourage prayer and rely on God’s Word as the ultimate guide
Help you see your spouse through Christ’s eyes, strengthening love, humility, and forgiveness
Remind you that your marriage is designed to reflect the love between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:25-32)
Address practical matters—like communication and intimacy—without neglecting the transforming wisdom of the Holy Spirit

Practical Steps to Begin

If you feel stuck or disheartened in your marriage, or simply want to invest in growing your relationship, consider these steps:

Pray for clarity, wisdom, and a teachable heart.
Discuss (gently!) with your spouse the idea of coaching—or start individually, as many have found change happens even if only one spouse begins.
Research Christian marriage coaches in your area or online.
Read up on the Six Intimacy Skills™ or similar biblically grounded resources.
Commit to regular practice—just as you would physical exercise, knowing it takes time and intentionality to build new habits.
Reconnect with your church community for encouragement, mentoring, and accountability.

Recommendations and Final Thoughts

Coaching is not a rejection of counseling, but a recognition that, for many, spiritual and relational growth comes through practical, forward-focused action, just as Christ called His followers to “go and do likewise” (Luke 10:37). When married couples practice the biblical “one anothers”—loving, forgiving, serving, and honoring each other—they lay a strong foundation for joy and unity.

For Christians, marriage is sacred—a reflection of God’s covenant love. Coaching can be a valuable tool for reclaiming that vision, offering not just temporary relief from struggles but a pathway to the abundant life Christ desires for couples. Whether you’re struggling or simply seeking to deepen the connection and joy in your marriage, relationship coaching offers hope: that with faith, effort, and support, your marriage can not only survive, but flourish.

Let us, as the body of Christ, champion approaches that build up marriages, foster unity, and point the world to the loving relationship between Christ and His church. If your marriage feels distant, don’t lose heart—there is hope, help, and practical wisdom waiting for you in the journey of relationship coaching.