Across the country, many parents, pastors, and older adults have noticed something that concerns them: a growing number of young adults seem to be drifting through life without direction, responsibility, or purpose. Some remain financially dependent on their parents well into their late twenties or thirties. Others bounce from job to job but never seem settled, or avoid commitment in relationships. It’s easy to look at these behaviors and conclude, “Young people today just don’t want to grow up.”

But a closer look shows that the issue is more complicated than simple laziness or rebellion. Many young adults are facing barriers and influences that previous generations never encountered. Their path to maturity is shaped by economic shifts, cultural change, new technology, and even the pace of brain development. Understanding these forces—and viewing them through a biblical lens—helps us respond with wisdom and compassion rather than judgment or frustration.

Delayed Milestones in a Challenging World

When we talk about “growing up,” we often think of traditional life markers such as finishing school, leaving home, getting a job, getting married, and starting a family. Decades ago, many people reached these milestones by their mid-twenties. But those timelines have changed drastically, often through no fault of young adults themselves.

The cost of living has risen far faster than wages. Housing is expensive. Student loans weigh heavily on millions. Entry-level jobs that once supported independence now often require advanced degrees but pay modest salaries. Young adults may be working hard and saving money, but still can’t afford what previous generations achieved much earlier.

As a result, more of them stay with parents longer, postpone marriage, and build careers more slowly. That doesn’t necessarily reflect immaturity—it reflects reality. In many cases, they’re doing the best they can with circumstances outside their control.

If we look back at history, the mid-20th century—the 1950s in particular—was actually an exception, not the rule. That era’s economic prosperity made early independence possible for millions. Before and after that period, people often married later, lived with extended family, and faced struggle before stability. From that perspective, the slower pace of modern adulthood may feel less like decline and more like a return to historic normalcy.

Changing Social Norms and Priorities

Cultural expectations around adulthood have also changed. Marriage is no longer seen as the only route to fulfillment, and many in their twenties and thirties prefer to focus on personal growth, education, or service before settling down. They often value experiences—travel, service work, creative exploration—over the traditional sequence of “job, house, spouse, kids.”

Some older adults misinterpret that as immaturity or selfishness. Yet in many cases, it’s actually a more intentional, reflective approach to life choices. Young adults today want to marry well, not quickly. They want purpose in their work, not just a paycheck. They want to integrate faith with their lifestyle, not simply inherit their parents’ patterns.

While that search can sometimes turn self-centered, it can also be healthy and spiritual when grounded in biblical wisdom. Scripture repeatedly calls believers to “examine themselves” and “seek understanding.” The key difference between wisdom and indulgence lies in motivation—whether one is seeking God’s direction or merely avoiding responsibility.

Redefining What It Means to Be an Adult

Older generations often equated adulthood with external markers: financial stability, home ownership, and marriage. Young adults today tend to define adulthood by internal qualities—emotional stability, self-awareness, and a sense of calling. Those traits are harder to measure, but they can show genuine maturity.

Unfortunately, because those inner traits don’t always show outwardly, older adults sometimes label young people as immature when they may simply be maturing differently. It’s worth remembering that God shapes maturity from the inside out. Growth in faith and character doesn’t always happen on a predictable timeline. Just as some plants bloom early and others in late season, people mature at different rates.

The Role of Brain Development

Neuroscience offers another piece of the picture. Research shows that the human brain continues developing into the mid-twenties, especially the parts that manage judgment, planning, and impulse control. This means even highly intelligent young adults can sometimes act impulsively or make short-sighted decisions, not from rebellion, but from incomplete neurological maturity.

Some psychologists now describe this time as “emerging adulthood”—a stage between adolescence and full adulthood marked by exploration, instability, and self-focus. That’s not an excuse for irresponsibility, but it does help explain why this period feels confusing for both young adults and their parents.

From a biblical perspective, we might think of it as a crucial season for discipleship. Paul reminded Timothy, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example” (1 Timothy 4:12). The point isn’t to rush through young adulthood but to use it wisely—to build habits of obedience, faith, and discipline while the brain and spirit are still being shaped for life.

Technology and Social Media’s Influence

No discussion of young adulthood today would be complete without mentioning technology. Social media and constant connectivity have profoundly influenced attitudes, relationships, and even attention spans. Young adults have grown up in a digital world that never existed before—and it has changed how they see themselves and others.

Platforms that reward instant gratification and public validation can stunt emotional growth. When approval comes through likes and follows, patience and humility often suffer. The temptation to compare one’s life to curated online images can also produce anxiety and discontentment.

On the other hand, technology is not inherently evil—it’s a tool. The same platforms that spread vanity can also spread the gospel. Many young adults are using digital skills for ministry, outreach, and education. The challenge is balance: learning to use technology as a servant, not a master. Mature faith means having the courage to unplug, prioritize relationships over screens, and seek God’s voice above the noise of the digital crowd.

Generational Biases and Misconceptions

It’s easy to think youth are more immature today, but this concern isn’t new. Ancient philosophers complained about “lazy, disrespectful young people.” Every generation has struggled to understand its successors. We tend to romanticize our own past and forget our own seasons of uncertainty.

What many older adults call immaturity might actually mirror the same growing pains they once had, only in different cultural packaging. Today’s young adults face a world far more competitive, costly, and morally confusing than their parents did. They’re wrestling with complex issues—identity, purpose, and truth—in a society that often rejects biblical wisdom.

Instead of criticizing, we can offer mentorship, encouragement, and patience. Young people flourish when they feel believed in, not belittled. Titus 2 reminds older men and women to teach and guide the younger—not to shame them, but to model godliness in everyday life.

Recognizing True Immaturity

Of course, not all immaturity can be excused by culture or circumstance. Some young adults do show patterns of genuine emotional immaturity that hinder growth and relationships. These include:

  • Acting on impulse or without considering consequences

  • Refusing to take responsibility when something goes wrong

  • Having frequent emotional outbursts or mood swings

  • Lacking empathy or respect for others’ feelings

  • Avoiding commitments or long-term effort

  • Constantly seeking attention or validation

  • Blaming others instead of correcting personal faults

  • Struggling to plan, save, or delay gratification

These behaviors are not limited to youth; adults of any age can fall into them. But when these traits persist, they reveal areas where spiritual and emotional growth are needed. The good news is that immaturity can be overcome. Through discipleship, prayer, and accountability, anyone can learn to respond to life with greater wisdom and stability.

Nurturing Maturity and Growth

So how can young adults grow—and how can parents, mentors, and churches help? Here are a few biblical principles that nurture maturity:

Encourage self-examination. Teach young adults to regularly evaluate their attitudes and actions in light of Scripture. Growth begins with awareness.

Offer responsibility, not rescue. Real maturity develops when people face consequences and learn problem-solving. Instead of stepping in to fix everything, guide them toward wise decisions.

Model emotional control. Show how mature believers handle frustration, disappointment, and conflict. You’re teaching more through calm presence than through long lectures.

Build financial and life skills. Budgeting, time management, and steady work habits are spiritual disciplines too. Proverbs praises diligence and warns against laziness.

Foster community. Isolation breeds immaturity. Encourage involvement in church, volunteering, and friendships that challenge growth.

Promote prayer and dependence on God. True maturity is knowing you can’t do life on your own strength. Encourage daily prayer, Scripture reading, and trust in God’s direction.

Support mental and emotional health. Remind young adults that seeking counseling or support is not weakness. God often works through wise counsel to bring healing and stability.

Each of these steps leads toward emotional and spiritual maturity—the kind defined in Galatians 5:22–23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

A Call for Grace Between Generations

Older and younger generations need each other. The older offer perspective and wisdom; the younger bring energy, creativity, and new ideas. Rather than criticizing today’s youth for immaturity, we should see them as students in the process of grace—just as we once were.

Paul wrote, “And we all…are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory” (2 Corinthians 3:18). Growth is lifelong. No one matures overnight, and no generation arrives fully formed. We are all learners in God’s school of discipleship.

When older believers approach younger ones with empathy instead of frustration, bridges form. When younger believers show humility and teachability, respect grows both ways. That’s the spirit of Christian maturity—relationships shaped not by pride but by love.

The Path Toward True Adulthood

Adulthood, in the biblical sense, has less to do with status or possessions and more to do with character. Being “grown-up” means bearing responsibility, keeping one’s word, and serving others before self. It means living by conviction rather than convenience.

Some young adults struggle with these principles because culture rarely rewards them. But when faith becomes central—when Christ defines purpose instead of culture—maturity starts to take root. The Holy Spirit works from the inside out, shaping hearts that choose obedience over impulse, humility over pride, and service over comfort. That transformation can happen at 25 or 75.

Today’s young adults are growing up in a complex, demanding world. Some indeed show immaturity, but many more are earnestly searching for meaning, faith, and stability. They don’t need condemnation—they need guidance, truth, and encouragement from believers who’ve walked the road before them.

The journey to adulthood is personal and uneven, but God is faithful to complete the work He begins. Our task as the Church is not to scold a generation but to shepherd it—to help young men and women become mature, responsible, Christ-centered adults who live and lead with wisdom.