“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good”(Romans 12:14-21)
BIG IDEA: Peacemaking sometimes doesn’t go as planned. God’s Word instructs us how we should respond to those who resist our effort.
Five important principles for when peacemaking goes bad:
Word Study: Bless Gk. ‘eulogo’ eu (good) logo (word). To speak well with praise; to ask God to bestow his favor on them. Curse ‘kataraomai’ praying for injury, harm, misfortune, or evil to come upon someone; calling down curses on our offender.
NOTE: The more intense the dispute, the greater temptation to misuse our tongue (e.g., gossip, slander, insult, curse, criticize, sarcasm, lie, threat)
Biblical examples of a controlled tongue while being mistreated:
“Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.” (I Pet. 3:9)
INSIGHT: You MUST maintain a proper perspective when peacemaking goes bad. HOW? Remember, GOD IS IN CONTROL AND IS USING THE CIRCUMSTANCE TO CONFORM YOU TO THE IMAGE OF CHRIST(Rom.8:28-29). Quit fighting and surrender to His will (Rom. 12:1-2).
2. Stay Connected (vs. 15-16)
NOTE: It’s difficult to go it alone when you’re being mistreated. Believers are a family and they are there for us during the joy and the pain. We need their encouragement and love.
INSIGHT: The tendency is to WITHDRAW (introspection, self-pity, brooding, resentment) or to ATTACK (self-righteous, condemning) during mistreatment. Friends can support, encourage, confront, and redirect us.
3. Keep Doing the Right Thing (vs. 17)
Word Studies: Respect Gk. ‘pronoeo’ pro (before) noeo (think). Think or notice beforehand or ahead of time. Right‘kalos’ what is intrinsically good, honest, proper, and fitting in the sight of all men; expressed in outward goodness (forgiving, gracious, respectful behavior. PLAN AHEAD so that you can respond the right way to your offender.
“When David had finished speaking, Saul called back, “Is that really you, my son David?” Then he began to cry. And he said to David, “You are a better man than I am, for you have repaid me good for evil. Yes, you have been amazingly kind to me today, for when the LORD put me in a place where you could have killed me, you didn’t do it. Who else would let his enemy get away when he had him in his power? May the LORD reward you well for the kindness you have shown me today. And now I realize that you are surely going to be king, and that the kingdom of Israel will flourish under your rule. Now swear to me by the LORD that when that happens you will not kill my family and destroy my line of descendants!” (I Sam.24:1-22)
4. Accept Your Limits (vs. 18)
NOTE: Do all in your power to reconcile, but remember you cannot force others to make peace (“as far as it depends on you”).
INSIGHT: Don’t waste time, energy and resources on someone who stubbornly refuses to reconcile. ACCEPT YOUR LIMITS. You have fulfilled your responsibility to God. Trust Him for the outcome
5. Use Your Ultimate Weapon (vs. 20-21)
NOTE: Deliberate, intentional love (compassion, patience, words of encouragement, tangible help) focused on our offender.
INSIGHT: “Heap burning coals on their head” This was an ancient Egyptian custom. When someone wanted to demonstrate public contrition, they would walk with a pan of burning coals on their head to represent the burning pain of shame and guilt they felt.
Conclusion: Applying these principles can be difficult but always worth the effort. God delights to work in and through peacemakers. When we practice these principles, we protect our spirits from bitterness and glorify God in the process.
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