Resilient Marriage Inventory

For each statement, rate how true it is for your marriage using the following scale:
1 = Never true
2 = Rarely true
3 = Sometimes true
4 = Often true
5 = Always true

Circle the number that best represents your experience for each statement.

1. We pray together regularly.

2. We talk openly about our feelings and concerns.

3. We resolve conflicts without holding grudges.

4. We make decisions together as a team.

5. We encourage each other’s spiritual growth.

6. We forgive each other quickly and sincerely.

7. We laugh and have fun together.

8. We support each other during stressful times.

9. We make time for regular date nights or couple time.

10. We express appreciation for each other often.

11. We are honest with each other, even about difficult topics.

12. We seek help (from mentors, counselors, or pastors) when we’re stuck.

13. We pray for each other individually.

14. We respect each other’s opinions and differences.

15. We work together to solve problems.

16. We set boundaries to protect our relationship from outside pressures.

17. We share spiritual activities, such as Bible reading or worship.

18. We talk about our dreams and goals for the future.

19. We are affectionate with each other (hugs, kisses, holding hands, etc.).

20. We apologize when we hurt each other.

21. We avoid sarcasm, criticism, and contempt in our communication.

22. We celebrate each other’s achievements and milestones.

23. We have healthy friendships and support outside our marriage.

24. We recover quickly from disagreements.

25. We prioritize our marriage, even when life is busy.

26. We discuss finances openly and make financial decisions together.

27. We feel safe to be vulnerable with each other.

28. We handle stress as a united team, not as adversaries.

29. We keep short accounts and don’t let issues fester.

30. We are committed to staying together, no matter what.

31. We seek God’s guidance for our marriage.

32. We talk about intimacy and physical needs openly.

33. We are patient with each other’s weaknesses.

34. We are willing to change and grow for the sake of our relationship.

35. We check in regularly about how we’re doing as a couple.

36. We serve together in our church or community.

37. We set goals together and celebrate progress.

38. We protect our marriage from negative influences (media, unhealthy relationships, etc.).

39. We maintain a sense of humor, even in tough times.

40. We believe God has a purpose for our marriage.

Scoring Key:
Add up your scores for all 40 items.

• 160-200: Your marriage shows strong resilience! You are intentional about nurturing your relationship and trusting God through challenges. Keep building on these strengths.

• 120-159: Your marriage has many resilient qualities, but there are some areas that could use attention. Discuss your answers with your spouse and set goals for growth.

• 80-119: Your marriage may be struggling in some key areas of resilience. Consider talking openly with your spouse about your results, and don’t hesitate to seek support from a Christian counselor or mentor.

• Below 80: Your marriage may be in a vulnerable place. Take courage-honest self-reflection is the first step toward change. Reach out for help, pray together, and start working on one area at a time.

Remember:
This inventory is a tool for growth, not judgment. No marriage is perfect, but with God’s help, every marriage can become more resilient. Use your results as a springboard for honest conversation, prayer, and intentional steps toward a stronger, Christ-centered relationship.