If you’re a young person feeling frustrated by the whole dating scene, you’re definitely not alone. There’s a pretty universal sigh out there from people swiping left and right, going on dates that go nowhere, or having conversations that feel like they’re stuck on repeat. The big question on so many minds is this: What am I doing wrong? Is it me? Is it the world of dating itself?

First off, it’s okay to feel tangled up in these questions. Love—real, lasting, heart-stopping love—is an incredible gift and a beautiful journey. But it’s also complicated and sometimes messy. If every swipe or meeting ends in disappointment, it’s natural to start wondering if the problem lies with you, or maybe the rules of the dating game have changed so much that nobody can really win.

So let’s talk about it with honesty, hope, and a little bit of grace—especially from a Christian perspective, because we believe God is deeply involved in our stories and wants to guide us into the best relationships, even when the path looks uncertain.

The Reality Check: Dating Is Hard

Dating has never been easy, really. Think about the Bible heroes who waited for years for their spouse, or the stories of couples who built love through seasons of waiting, service, and sometimes struggle. There’s nothing new under the sun.

But today’s dating landscape comes with its own pace and pressures. Social media paints glossy pictures of perfect couples and quick fairy tale connections. Dating apps offer endless options but often leave us feeling overwhelmed, objectified, or exhausted.

Pressure for instant chemistry, fear of missing out on a “better” candidate, and a culture that celebrates casual rather than committed often leave young people feeling like they are on a relentless treadmill.

When “What Am I Doing Wrong?” Pops Up

It’s a brutally honest question. If you feel like you’re putting in the effort—good conversations, honesty, even those vulnerable moments—but don’t find the spark or progress you long for, it’s easy to doubt yourself.

But here’s the truth: It’s often not you. It’s not your worth or who you are. The problems most young people face stem from mismatches between real life and unrealistic expectations, or from swimming in cultural messages that sabotage genuine connection.

To unpack this, we need to ask: Are you chasing feelings over commitment? Are you swayed more by looks and momentary excitement than character and shared values? Are you really getting to know people, or just looking for the best highlight reel?

Is It the World?

Sometimes, we look at the world of dating and feel trapped by the culture:

  • The speed: Dating apps make it easy to meet hundreds of people but hard to focus on one.

  • The expectations: Social media buzz can lead us to believe that “chemistry” has to slap you in the face immediately.

  • The disposability: It’s become too easy to ghost, swipe away, or move on without genuine closure.

  • The distortions: Messages that emphasize physical attraction over emotional or spiritual compatibility.

In this environment, it’s no wonder so many feel lost, discouraged, or cynical.

Finding the Christian Way Forward

If the world’s approach to dating feels broken, good news: Christ offers us a better way, a way of hope, patience, and purpose.

  1. Anchor in Identity
    Your worth isn’t in your dating success or failure. You are a beloved child of God, made in His image, deeply known and treasured.

  2. Date with Intentionality
    Instead of random swiping or casual flings, pursue relationships with purpose. Ask: Does this person share my faith? Do they honor God? Are we growing spiritually?

  3. Build on Friendship and Character
    Chemistry is delightful but fleeting. Seek to know the heart and character of someone, letting affection grow with trust and respect.

  4. Set and Respect Boundaries
    Protect your heart physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Healthy boundaries guard against hurt and confusion.

  5. Pray for Wisdom and Patience
    Ask God to guide your steps, to reveal what’s best, and to prepare your heart.

  6. Lean on Community
    Surround yourself with godly friends and mentors who can provide support, counsel, and perspective.

  7. Embrace the Journey
    Don’t rush. Good things often take time. Trust God’s timing more than your own.

When It’s Hard

Some days, it feels like you’re waiting forever or missing out on life. God’s Word gives us plenty of examples of patience and hope. Hannah prayed for a child and waited years. Abraham and Sarah ventured into the unknown, trusting God’s promises.

Your story is unfolding, even when the pages seem blank or the chapters slow.

You’re Not Alone, and the Best Is Yet to Come

So if you’re asking, “What am I doing wrong?” remember: you’re not broken, you’re learning. It’s not just you, it’s also a culture wired for distraction, impatience, and superficiality.

But God is after your whole heart. He promises to be with you through the waiting, the wondering, and the walking toward love. Keep seeking, keep growing, keep praying.

Because the best kind of love—the kind that lasts, heals, and grows—is worth every step of the journey.

Your story isn’t over. The next chapter might just be the sweetest yet.