Categories: ChildrenFamily

The Overscheduled Child and the Disconnected Family

American families are in a state of constant motion. Kids seem to always have someplace they are supposed to be. The typical day for kids begins early and ends late, which means the parents’ day does too. There is school, sports, entertainment, friends, hobbies, church, youth group activities, and on and on it goes. Everyone is busy, yet very little time is actually available for the family.

The epidemic of overly scheduled kids has caught the attention of educators, doctors, and child psychologists over the past few years. No surprise, overscheduled kids experience the same stress-related health and psychological problems that overscheduled adults experience. The pressure to excel at everything leaves some children feeling depressed, despondent and/or rebellious. At younger and younger ages, kids are drinking or using illicit substances to relieve emotional distress and escape the pressure. A busy child doesn’t necessarily mean a happy family. Most experts agree that quality family time is crucial to building strong familial bonds and having happy children.

Why, then, has family time become such a low priority? The politically correct answer is that research clearly shows that children involved in extra-curricular activities are less likely to be involved in risky behavior and have higher motivation for achievement. On a more personal level, it happens when well-meaning parents want to give their kids more than they had for themselves; when parents want their kids to have every possible opportunity to discover their strengths and abilities. No argument there, but when we permit our children to become so overscheduled that there’s little time to bond, grow, and make memories with their family, it becomes a huge problem. This imbalance causes stress, anxiety, and burnout for children and parents. An over-booked child’s schedule might look like this:

Monday—Cub Scouts

Tuesday—Soccer

Wednesday—AWANA Club

Thursday—Math Tutoring

Friday—Family Time

Saturday—Upward Sports (Basketball)

Sunday—Sunday School/Church

There is too much going on in this schedule, and it doesn’t even include hours of practice needed for each activity, school, homework, or down time. Parents are responsible for helping children balance their schedules.

Burnout

An overscheduled child may lead to a less active teenager due to burnout. Children who play a sport with intensity for an extended period of time will eventually tire of the activity if it simply becomes routine, something to pass the time, or because the joy of the sport is lost.

Burnout occurs when there is an imbalance between quantity and quality. The end result is that they lose the desire to participate in other activities during later adolescent years and may become idle.

Active not Overscheduled

These guidelines will help you find a beneficial balance in your child’s schedule:

Reduce the amount of activities
Have your child pick one sport and one social activity
If your child enjoys more than one sport, encourage seasonal sports, which provide alternating schedules
Increase Family Time

Conclusion

There is a healthy balance between over-scheduling and idleness. Research shows that extracurricular activities provide a positive outlet for children and lower the likelihood of risky behavior. However, over-scheduling a child introduces other stress factors that may lead to burnout. Overall, parents must let their kids be kids, and healthy communication will help you find the balance most beneficial for your child.

Bill