The phrase “Love is love” has become a cultural anthem, especially in discussions about sexuality, marriage, and identity. At first glance, it sounds beautiful-who could be against love? But for Christians who take the Bible seriously, this slogan presents some real problems. Let’s unpack why, from a biblical perspective, “love is love” isn’t just a harmless catchphrase, but a statement that actually distorts both the meaning of love and the heart of God.
What Does “Love is Love” Really Mean?
At its core, “love is love” is meant to say that all romantic love is equally valid, regardless of the genders or circumstances involved. It’s often used to justify same-sex relationships, nontraditional marriages, and a wide range of sexual expressions. The message is simple: if two people love each other, that’s all that matters. No one has the right to question or define their love.
But here’s the first problem: “love is love” makes love self-defining. It suggests that love, whatever we feel or desire, is automatically good and right. But is that really true? Does simply feeling love make an action or a relationship righteous in God’s eyes?
Love Isn’t Self-Defining-God Is
The Bible never says “love is love.” In fact, the only thing in Scripture that’s self-defining is God Himself. When Moses asked God for His name, God replied, “I AM WHO I AM” (Exodus 3:14). God alone is self-existent, uncreated, and the source of all things-including love.
Love, on the other hand, is not an ultimate reality in itself. It’s a gift from God, defined by His character and revealed in His Word. To say “love is love” is to put love in the place of God, making it an idol that stands above all other truths. That’s not just bad theology-it’s dangerous, because it severs love from its source and standard.
God Defines Love-Not Us
Scripture is clear: “God is love” (1 John 4:8). That means God Himself is the standard and source of true love. We don’t get to define love on our own terms. Instead, we look to God’s Word to see what love really is.
Biblical love is not just a feeling or a romantic attraction. It’s an action, a choice, and a commitment to seek the best for others-even when it’s hard. Jesus showed us the ultimate example of love by laying down His life for sinners (1 John 4:10). Real love is sacrificial, holy, and anchored in truth-not just emotion or desire1.
“Love is Love” Ignores God’s Design for Relationships
One of the biggest problems with “love is love” is that it tosses out God’s design for sexuality and marriage. According to the Bible, God created marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24). Sexual intimacy is a good gift, but it’s meant to be enjoyed within the boundaries God has set-for our good and His glory.
The slogan “love is love” says that any romantic relationship is equally valid, no matter what. But God’s Word draws clear lines. It teaches that some expressions of love-like adultery, fornication, or homosexual practice-are outside His will. They’re not just “different,” they’re sinful, because they go against the Creator’s design.
Love Without Truth Isn’t Really Love
Another danger of “love is love” is that it separates love from truth. The Bible says, “Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6)5. In other words, real love can’t celebrate what God calls sin. If we endorse or affirm things that God says will harm people-spiritually, emotionally, or physically-we’re not being loving. We’re actually doing harm, even if our intentions feel compassionate.
Affirming someone’s choices, when those choices lead them away from God’s best, isn’t love. It’s like watching a friend drink poison and telling them, “If it makes you happy, go ahead.” True love sometimes means saying hard things, warning about sin, and pointing people to the hope and forgiveness found in Jesus.
Redefining Sin and Personhood
“Love is love” doesn’t just redefine love-it also redefines what it means to be human. The slogan is often used to say that sexual orientation is an unchangeable part of a person’s identity, and that to question it is hateful or bigoted. But the Bible teaches that our deepest identity is found in being made in God’s image, not in our desires or feelings (Genesis 1:27).
Sin isn’t just something we do; it’s something that distorts who we are. We all have desires that don’t line up with God’s will. That’s why Jesus came-to rescue us from sin and give us a new identity in Him. The good news isn’t “affirm yourself,” but “deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me” (Luke 9:23).
“Love is Love” and the Slippery Slope
When love is cut loose from God’s truth, anything goes. If all that matters is that people love each other, then there’s no reason to say no to any kind of relationship or behavior, as long as it’s “consensual.” This has opened the door to all kinds of sexual confusion and brokenness in our culture-high divorce rates, hookup culture, and the normalization of things God warns us against.
What About Loving Our Neighbors?
Some people think that rejecting “love is love” means being hateful or unkind. But nothing could be further from the truth. Christians are called to love everyone-no exceptions. That means treating every person with dignity, compassion, and respect, no matter their story or struggles.
But loving someone doesn’t mean affirming everything they do. Jesus loved sinners, but He also called them to repentance and new life. The most loving thing we can do is point people to the grace and truth found in Christ, who alone can satisfy our deepest longings and transform our hearts.
Calling Good What God Calls Bad
Scripture warns us not to call evil good or good evil (Isaiah 5:20). When we use “love is love” to affirm what God calls sin, we’re not just making a mistake-we’re opposing God’s authority. The Bible says that those who justify the wicked and condemn the righteous are an abomination to the Lord (Proverbs 17:15).
That doesn’t mean we single out certain sins or act self-righteous. All of us need God’s mercy and forgiveness. But it does mean we can’t celebrate or endorse what God has clearly said is wrong. To do so is to mislead others and dishonor the God who made us.
The Real Message: “God is Love”
If “love is love” isn’t the answer, what is? The Bible gives us a better three-word slogan: “God is love.” Real love flows from God’s heart, revealed most clearly in Jesus’ sacrifice for us. When we abide in His love, we can love others truly-seeking their good, speaking the truth, and pointing them to the only One who can save and satisfy their souls.
Conclusion: Love Anchored in Truth
“Love is love” sounds simple and appealing, but it falls short of the biblical vision of love. True love is defined by God, shaped by His Word, and anchored in truth. It doesn’t just affirm or celebrate our desires-it calls us to something higher: to know God, to follow Jesus, and to love others with both compassion and conviction.
As Christians, let’s reject slogans that twist or cheapen love. Instead, let’s hold out the hope of the gospel-a love that is holy, sacrificial, and life-changing. That’s the kind of love our world desperately needs. And that’s the love God offers to every one of us, no matter where we’ve been or what we’ve done.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:7-8)
Let’s make sure our love looks like His.