Healthy relationships require self-awareness, honest communication, and a willingness to grow together. The Relationship Inventory is designed to help couples reflect on the strengths and challenges in their relationship. By taking this inventory separately and then discussing your responses together, you can gain valuable insights and identify areas for growth. Remember, this is not a test, but a tool to encourage understanding and connection. Be honest with yourself and your spouse as you answer each item.

Instructions:
Read each statement below and rate how true it is for your relationship using the following scale:

1 = Never true
2 = Rarely true
3 = Sometimes true
4 = Often true
5 = Always true

Write your answer (1–5) beside each item.

The Relationship Inventory

  1. We enjoy spending time together.

  2. We communicate openly about our thoughts and feelings.

  3. We resolve disagreements respectfully.

  4. We support each other’s goals and dreams.

  5. We pray together regularly.

  6. We are physically affectionate with each other.

  7. We trust each other completely.

  8. We apologize and forgive when we hurt each other.

  9. We laugh and have fun together.

  10. We share household responsibilities fairly.

  11. We make important decisions together.

  12. We talk about our finances openly.

  13. We express appreciation for one another.

  14. We feel emotionally connected.

  15. We respect each other’s differences.

  16. We handle stress as a team.

  17. We set boundaries with extended family when needed.

  18. We maintain healthy friendships outside our marriage.

  19. We regularly discuss our spiritual growth.

  20. We feel safe being vulnerable with each other.

  21. We are satisfied with our sexual relationship.

  22. We encourage each other’s personal growth.

  23. We spend quality time together without distractions.

  24. We resolve conflicts without yelling or name-calling.

  25. We work together to solve problems.

  26. We feel comfortable sharing our fears and worries.

  27. We celebrate each other’s successes.

  28. We are patient with each other’s weaknesses.

  29. We have shared goals for the future.

  30. We make time for fun and recreation.

  31. We are honest about our needs and desires.

  32. We seek God’s guidance in our relationship.

  33. We handle disagreements about parenting constructively.

  34. We avoid keeping secrets from each other.

  35. We feel like a team.

  36. We are quick to reconcile after arguments.

  37. We respect each other’s opinions, even when we disagree.

  38. We encourage each other’s relationship with God.

  39. We feel secure in our commitment to each other.

  40. We express love in ways that are meaningful to each other.

Scoring Key:

  • Add up your total score (maximum possible: 200).

  • 160–200: Excellent – Your relationship is strong and healthy. Celebrate your strengths and keep investing in each other.

  • 120–159: Good – You have a solid relationship, but there are areas that could use attention. Discuss any lower-scoring items and consider practical steps for growth.

  • 80–119: Fair – There are significant areas for improvement. Use this inventory as a starting point for honest conversations and seek support if needed.

  • Below 80: Needs Attention – Your relationship may be struggling. Don’t lose hope. Consider seeking help from a trusted Christian counselor or mentor.

Reflection:
Review your answers together. Celebrate your strengths and talk about areas where you’d like to grow. Pray together, asking God for wisdom, patience, and love as you continue building a Christ-centered relationship. Remember, every couple has areas to improve, and with God’s help, growth is always possible.