The Wife’s Biblical Role in Marriage-Part 3

Key Thought: A wise woman discerns that her role is crucial in achieving oneness.

The wife’s role includes four areas of responsibility:

1. The first area of responsibility is respect (Eph. 5:33)
2. The second area of responsibility is submission (Eph. 5:22)
3. The third area of responsibility is love (Titus 2:4)
4. The fourth area of responsibility is making home a priority (Titus 2:5; I Tim. 5:14)

In this article, we will look at the third and fourth area of responsibility for wives: Love and making home a priority.

Titus 2:4 “… that they (i.e., older women) may teach the young women to love their husbands (GK. Philandros= man-lover or husband-lover), to love their children…”

Note: We often emphasize that husbands are commanded to love their wives (Eph. 5:25) and that the wife is only a responder. (“If your wife doesn’t love you, it’s your fault”; “If your wife isn’t responding to you, you’re not loving her.”) In Titus 2:5 we are told that wives are to love their husbands. It is as much the wife’s responsibility to love her husband as it is for him to love her.

Love

1. Love is an attitude of unconditional acceptance.

• Accept him as an imperfect person. This acceptance is not based upon his performance, but on his worth as God’s gift to you.
• Accept his thoughts and feelings. Give him the freedom to open up and share himself with you.
• Accept his decisions. Don’t go along, however, if it is ungodly.
• Accept his failures.

2. Love is sacrificial action.

• Love is something you choose to do. It is active, not passive.

Making home a priority

Titus 2:5 “…to be discreet, chaste, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.”

Biblical Definition: “workers at home” Gk. ‘oikougos’—oikos [home] + ergon [work]. Refers to an assigned task.

Compare with I Timothy 5:14—“Therefore, I desire that the younger women marry, bear children, manage the house, GK. ‘oikodespoteo’—oikos [home] + despotes [manage/guide] give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

1. God intended that homemaking be considered a privilege.
2. A woman’s home should be her primary ministry.
3. A woman’s home is a statement of her values.
4. God places importance on the care and instruction of children by a mother.
5. She has the privilege of nurturing her children.

(I Thess. 2:7) “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.”

6. She has the privilege of teaching and training the next generation.

(Prov. 1:8) “Hear, my son, your father’s teaching, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”

World’s View

1. Home is a boring drudgery.
2. Homemaking and children are a burden.
3. Teaches us to value material success and self-gratification.
4. Someone else teaches/trains the children.
5. Children, homemaking and often marriage get in the way of achievement.
6. Demand your rights to fulfillment.

God’s View

1. A haven to come to from the world.
2. Children are God’s gift.
3. Values, character and godliness are developed in the home.
4. Fathers and mothers have the opportunity to fulfill their responsibilities to teach.
5. Raising godly children is one of the ways to fulfill God’s purposes.
6. Give up your rights and become a servant.

 Supplementing her family’s income may be a possible option.

(Prov. 31:16, 34) “She considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen.”

1. She should have a job only if her husband is in total agreement. (A lack of oneness can be critical.)
2. A woman should consider her capabilities (time, energy, creativity, etc.) before considering a job.
3. She should make sure her motives are correct before taking a job.
4. Is the extra income essential to meet “needs” or “wants?”
5. Is she doing the work to avoid her other higher priority responsibilities?
6. Is she attempting to have her needs met through her work instead of her relationship with God and the dynamics of her family?

 

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