God designed men and women differently so that together they could fulfill their unique and complementary roles in marriage. A wise woman recognizes that her role is not minor—it is vital to achieving unity and success in the home. When God first formed Adam and Eve, He knew exactly what He was doing. He gave each one characteristics, desires, and responsibilities that would allow them to work together effectively. When both fulfill their respective parts of God’s design, they experience harmony and wholeness. When either one neglects or resists that design, confusion and tension can set in. Understanding our God-given role is the key to oneness in marriage. The Bible identifies four primary areas of responsibility for wives: 1) Respect (Ephesians 5:33) 2) Submission (Ephesians 5:22) 3) Love (Titus 2:4) 4) Making the home a priority (Titus 2:5; 1 Timothy 5:14). In this second study, we’ll look closely at the wife’s second area of responsibility—submission.
Understanding Biblical Submission
Ephesians 5:21-24 provides one of the clearest teachings on this subject: “Submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” Similar truths are repeated in Colossians 3:18—“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord”—and in Titus 2:3–5, where older women are instructed to teach younger women to be “subject to their own husbands.” Peter also echoes this in 1 Peter 3:1, “Likewise, wives be submissive to your own husbands.” Clearly, this principle is not cultural or temporary—it is a continuing truth rooted in God’s design. The word submit comes from the Greek hupotasso, which literally combines hupo (“under”) and tasso (“to arrange or line up”). It was a military term meaning to line up under one’s commanding officer. The idea is not about worth, but about order and purpose. In God’s plan, the husband has been given the responsibility of headship and leadership in the home, while the wife is called to come alongside and willingly support that leadership. It’s about teamwork, not tyranny. Submission does not imply weakness or inferiority. It describes a wife’s willingness to place herself under the leadership of her husband for the sake of harmony and unity. When both husband and wife recognize their respective places in God’s order, their relationship functions more smoothly and peacefully.
What Submission Does Not Mean
Sadly, submission is often misunderstood or misrepresented. God’s Word never teaches that a wife is to be a servant or a second-class citizen. Her submission is not blind obedience, nor does it mean she must tolerate sin or wrongdoing. Let’s be clear about what submission does not mean. It does not indicate inferiority. A wife is equal in value, worth, and dignity before God. It simply reflects her willingness to serve in a God-assigned function within the marriage. It does not result in lost identity. A woman does not cease being her own person when she marries or chooses to submit. Her individuality and gifts are meant to strengthen the marriage. It does not mean she must surrender her voice or become passive. God designed marriage to be a partnership where communication and counsel flow freely. A wise husband listens carefully to his wife’s perspective and insights. It does not lead to being used or manipulated. Submission is rooted in love and respect, not control. It does not involve overlooking sinful behavior. A wife is never commanded to follow her husband into sin. Acts 5:29 reminds us that “we must obey God rather than men.” It does not make a woman a slave. In truth, biblical submission is an act of strength and faith—it’s the voluntary yielding of one’s will out of trust in God’s wisdom and order. True submission means willingly supporting your husband’s headship for the sake of oneness and function in the home. Just as a body works best when the brain leads and the muscles cooperate, a household runs most effectively when both husband and wife play their roles in harmony.
The Matter of Submission
Ephesians 5 begins with a mutual call to submit “to one another in the fear of God.” In marriage, this means each spouse seeks to honor and serve the other. The husband’s leadership is expressed through sacrificial love; the wife’s partnership is expressed through willing submission. God placed the husband in the role of head for a specific reason. He is called to provide for, protect, and lead his wife with wisdom and care. The wife, in turn, is called to align herself under his leadership—not because she cannot lead, but because God has established an order that reflects His own nature. When a wife resists this order, conflict and frustration often follow. But when she chooses to embrace it as obedience to the Lord, peace and unity flourish. Her submission becomes not a burden but a form of worship.
The Manner of Submission
The manner in which a wife submits is as important as the act itself. Submission is not begrudging compliance or outward obedience with an inward spirit of rebellion. It’s possible to “do the right thing” with the wrong heart—and that is not what God desires. The wrong attitude toward submission might sound like this: “I’ll do it because I have to, but I sure don’t like it!” That kind of heart posture leads to bitterness and tension. The right attitude, however, says, “I’ll do it as unto the Lord.” This attitude rests on a deep understanding that submission is not primarily to one’s husband—it is to God Himself. When a wife submits to her husband’s leadership, she is really demonstrating her trust in God’s order and timing. She is saying, in essence, “Lord, I yield to Your wisdom. I will honor my husband’s position because I want to honor You.” The strength of that attitude transforms submission from drudgery into devotion. A wife who practices submission “as unto the Lord” finds freedom. She’s not performing to please her husband’s ego; she’s serving the Lord with her whole heart. Her quiet and trusting spirit becomes a beautiful reflection of Christlike humility.
The Motive for Submission
The motive for submission is not fear, manipulation, or social expectation—it’s love for Christ and trust in His design. Paul gives us the model in Ephesians 5:23 when he says, “For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church.” This imagery is profound. The relationship between husband and wife mirrors the relationship between Christ and His church. The church voluntarily submits to Christ because He is its Savior, protector, and Lord. That same picture should be seen in a Christian marriage; the wife responds to her husband’s headship because it reflects the pattern of redemption. Paul’s comparison also gives us an illustration. If the body refuses to follow the head, it becomes spastic and dysfunctional. But when the body responds properly to the impulses of the brain, both are honored. Likewise, when a wife cooperates with her husband’s leadership, the marriage functions effectively, bringing glory to God. Both husband and wife flourish because they operate in alignment with divine order. The motive, then, is not about personal advantage or convenience—it’s about harmony and testimony. A marriage where the wife responds with respect and the husband leads with humility becomes a living demonstration of Christ’s relationship with His church.
The Model for Submission
Our perfect model for submission is Jesus Himself. Scripture tells us that Christ submitted completely to the will of His Father. “I came down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me” (John 6:38). In obedience, He humbled Himself, even to the point of death (Philippians 2:8). His submission was never a sign of weakness—it was a profound expression of trust and love. When Paul describes the husband as “the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,” he draws a direct comparison between God’s design for marriage and Christ’s redemptive work. Just as Christ gave Himself for the church, the husband is to sacrificially lead, protect, and provide for his wife. And just as the church gratefully yields to Christ’s care, the wife is to willingly come under her husband’s leadership. The analogy also teaches security. Just as believers rest safely under the Savior’s protection, a wife can rest under her husband’s leadership. Her submission is not a sentence to silence or fear—it’s an invitation to live within God’s protective order. In a healthy, godly marriage, submission brings peace, not oppression; cooperation, not competition. There is, however, one important boundary. Scripture makes it clear that obedience to God always comes before submission to man. If a husband asks his wife to do something contrary to God’s Word, she must, like Peter, obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29). But even when disagreement arises, she can respond with grace and respect, maintaining dignity in her stand for righteousness.
The Blessings of Biblical Submission
When a wife embraces biblical submission, she discovers a quiet strength that brings stability and joy to her home. It doesn’t stifle her gifts—it channels them into God’s ordained pattern. By honoring her husband’s leadership, she creates an atmosphere of trust and cooperation that allows both to thrive. Her submission becomes a ministry, not just to her husband but to God Himself. It communicates faith in His design and confidence in His ability to sustain the marriage. In many homes, when a wife’s attitude changes from resistance to cooperation, the entire atmosphere of the household shifts. Her husband feels supported instead of challenged, trusted instead of questioned. Often, his love and attentiveness grow in direct proportion to the respect and trust shown by his wife. This is the beauty of God’s pattern: each part complements and strengthens the other.
The Challenge and Reward
Submission is never easy because it requires humility and faith. It’s a daily choice to lay down pride and embrace God’s wisdom. But every act of obedience strengthens the spiritual fabric of a marriage. God blesses the woman who walks in this truth. A submissive spirit is not a passive or weak spirit. It’s an active, deliberate decision to trust God’s design for marriage, believing that His ways are higher than our own. When a woman practices submission joyfully, her home becomes a place of peace and order. As she follows the Lord’s pattern—trusting her husband’s leadership, offering her influence with gentleness, and maintaining faith in God’s goodness—her marriage becomes a living illustration of Christ’s love and the church’s devotion. The wise woman knows that unity, peace, and blessing come when both husband and wife function in harmony with their God-given roles. And she understands that submission is not defeat—it is one of the most powerful expressions of faith a Christian woman can live out.