Before we came to Christ, we were spiritually dead—cut off from the life of God and living under the power of sin. We might not have realized it at the time, but our hearts were separated from the true Source of love, peace, and strength. Everything we did, including how we related to others, flowed from a self-centered nature that sought to meet needs our own way. But the moment we received Christ as Savior, everything changed.
At salvation, God’s Spirit made us alive again. Our spiritual “dead batteries” were recharged with divine life. We were born again—brought from darkness into light, from spiritual death to spiritual life. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we were given the capacity to live holy, obedient, and Christlike lives. This transformation does not happen instantly but progressively as we learn to depend daily on God’s power rather than our own strength.
When both husband and wife live out this dependence together, the result is remarkable. The marriage starts to reflect the very nature of Christ—growing in harmony, intimacy, and oneness. To understand how this works, we must first look carefully at what the Bible teaches about spiritual death and the new life that God gives.
The Cause of Spiritual Death
Romans 5:12 tells us, “Just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, in this way death came to all men, because all sinned.” From the moment Adam sinned in the Garden of Eden, humanity inherited a corrupted nature. We are not sinners because we occasionally do wrong things; we sin because it is our nature from birth. Every person born since Adam is born spiritually dead—separated from the presence and life of God.
This spiritual death altered everything about how men and women relate to one another. Before sin entered the world, Adam and Eve lived in perfect harmony. There was no selfishness, no misunderstanding, no need to protect or hide. But when sin broke that fellowship with God, it also fractured human relationships. The beautiful unity and openness that once existed in the first marriage vanished, replaced by blame, shame, and fear.
The Definition of Spiritual Death
Spiritual death simply means separation from God. It is not the end of existence but the absence of connection to the Giver of life. Ephesians 4:18 describes the condition clearly: people are “darkened in their understanding, separated from the life of God.” At the moment Adam and Eve chose independence from God, His Spirit departed from their human spirit. Although their physical bodies continued to live, their spiritual life was gone. The human spirit, once filled with God’s presence, became empty—alive to sin but dead to God.
That separation had devastating consequences. No longer could Adam and Eve look to God as their direct Source for wisdom, provision, and comfort. They were now on their own, attempting to meet their needs through human effort. Think for a moment how this affected their marriage. When God was their Source, they enjoyed perfect harmony and oneness. But once He was removed from the center, they turned inward. Adam began blaming; Eve began defending. The focus shifted from “we” to “me.”
This pattern still repeats today. When couples live apart from God’s life, they naturally turn to self-effort. They look to their spouse—or even to themselves—to meet needs only God can satisfy. The result is frustration, disappointment, and conflict. God never designed marriage to thrive apart from His life. That’s why every marriage must begin with spiritual rebirth.
The Restoration of God’s Life
At salvation, everything lost in the Garden is restored. Not perfectly or instantly, but truly and eternally. When a person trusts in Christ, God once again places His own life inside that individual. The separation caused by sin is bridged through the cross of Jesus Christ.
The apostle John wrote, “God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life.” (1 John 5:12). Eternal life is more than endless existence—it is the very life of Christ living in us here and now. When you received Christ, you received His life. He is not only your Savior but your Source. Jesus Himself declared, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). He didn’t say He would give you life—He said He is life.
Imagine what that means for your marriage. The same life that empowered Jesus to love, forgive, and serve is now living in you. Colossians 3:4 says, “Christ, who is your life.” This means that His patience, His gentleness, His unconditional love, His peace—all of these qualities are already within you through the presence of the Holy Spirit.
So why, then, do so many Christian couples still struggle? Often, it is because we have the life of Christ within us but fail to draw upon it. We forget that we are vessels of His power and character. We continue relying on old habits, feelings, and self-effort rather than living out of the divine resources that God has placed within us.
Galatians 5 describes the fruit of the Spirit as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These qualities perfectly describe the nature of Christ. They are not goals we try to achieve on our own but evidence of His life flowing through us. When we depend on the Holy Spirit, that fruit begins to grow naturally in our lives and marriages.
God’s Power Within Us
Not only did God give us His life, but He also gave us His power. Acts 1:8 says, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you.” This power is not mere human determination or willpower; it is divine energy that enables believers to live beyond their natural limitations.
Paul explains this truth beautifully in 2 Corinthians 4:7, “We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that the surpassing power is from God and not from us.” God places His Spirit—the treasure—within fragile human hearts so that no one will mistake the source of strength. The Christian life, and by extension a strong Christian marriage, is never about personal ability. It rests entirely on God’s power working in surrendered hearts.
Do you realize the kind of power that lives in you? Ephesians 1:19–20 says, “The incomparable greatness of His power toward us who believe is the same power that raised Christ from the dead.” The very resurrection power that brought Jesus out of the tomb now resides in every believer. That means the same supernatural strength that conquered death can also conquer selfishness, pride, and bitterness within us.
When couples learn to depend on this power, they begin to see real transformation. Old patterns of anger and resentment lose their grip. Forgiveness becomes easier. Love deepens. Harmony begins to grow. The Holy Spirit makes possible what human willpower never could.
Why God Gave Us His Power
There are two important reasons why God placed His power within us. First, our natural willpower is incapable of overcoming the flesh. No matter how strong our intentions, we cannot, by sheer effort, produce the humility, patience, or unconditional love that God requires. Flesh cannot conquer flesh. We might manage to control our behavior for a time, but the inner attitudes remain unchanged. Only the Spirit can transform the heart.
Second, our willpower is no match for the power of Satan. He knows our weaknesses and capitalizes on them—especially within marriage. He delights in stirring up misunderstanding, pride, and discouragement. Without the armor of God and the power of His Spirit, we are defenseless against the spiritual attacks that come against our home.
That is why God gave us His supernatural power: to do what we could never do ourselves. It’s the secret to a Christ-centered marriage. We don’t live the Christian life by trying harder; we live it by trusting deeper.
Living from God’s Life and Power
Once you understand the reality of God’s life and power within you, everything changes. You begin to see that holiness and harmony in marriage come not from fixing your spouse but from allowing Christ to rule in your heart. The same grace that saved you is the grace that sustains your marriage.
In practical terms, this means making daily choices to draw on Christ’s life rather than your fleshly instincts. When you feel hurt, instead of lashing out or withdrawing, ask God for His patience. When communication breaks down, invite the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom and gentleness. When disappointment comes, lean on His strength to forgive and move forward.
The more you choose dependence over independence, the more Christ’s character takes root in you. As your heart changes, your marriage changes. Harmony replaces tension. Peace replaces striving. Forgiveness takes the place of bitterness. This is not because you worked harder but because God worked deeper.
Marriage was never meant to function apart from God’s divine life and power. The moment we try to make it work in our own strength, we repeat the error of Adam and Eve—living independently of God. But when we yield ourselves daily to the Spirit, we experience the restoration of what was lost in Eden: genuine oneness, intimacy, and peace.
The Secret to a Christ-Centered Marriage
If you want to know the key to a strong, lasting, Christ-centered marriage, here it is in one truth: God puts His life and power in us to do what we cannot do for ourselves. Left to our own resources, we fall short. But with Christ living in us, we have everything we need to love, forgive, serve, and endure.
God has not asked you to manufacture love; He has provided His own love within you. He has not demanded perfect patience; He has placed His own Spirit of patience in your heart. He does not expect you to overcome sin by willpower; He has filled you with His resurrection power to conquer sin.
You and your spouse, if you are both believers, have the fullness of God’s life and power at work in you right now. The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is capable of raising your marriage from indifference to life, from conflict to communion, from coping to Christlikeness.
So instead of asking God merely to fix your marriage, invite Him to transform it. Let Him renew you from within—your attitudes, your words, your responses, your motives. When both partners surrender to the indwelling Christ, marriage becomes a living testimony of God’s grace and power.
In the end, this is the grand design of God for marriage: that two redeemed people, once spiritually dead but now alive in Christ, would live together as one flesh—drawing strength from the same Source, reflecting the same Savior, and demonstrating to a watching world that the life of Christ truly changes everything.