No couple starts out expecting their marriage to one day teeter on the edge of collapse. Most begin with promise and hope, eager to share a life together with Christ at the center. But the storms of life, old wounds, disappointments, and communication failures can pile up. Eventually, some couples may look across the chasm that’s grown between them and feel only despair. “We’re too far gone,” they fear, “too broken to fix.” If that’s where you find yourself, take heart: you are not too broken for God’s healing. The good news of the Gospel is resurrection and redemption—and that hope applies to your marriage, too.

Surrender Your Marriage to God

True healing begins, not with better strategies or trying harder, but with surrender. Too often, we rely on our own wisdom or effort, desperate to “fix things,” and end up discouraged when nothing seems to change. But Scripture invites us to bring what is broken to the One who restores: “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). Lay your marriage on the altar. Tell God honestly what hurts, where you blame your spouse, where you mourn your own failures, and what dreams seem lost. Invite Him into every painful corner. Prayerfully ask Him to reveal what He wants to heal—not just in your spouse, but in you. He is big enough to handle your frustration, disappointment, and exhaustion. Often, it’s only when we stop striving in our own power that we make space for God’s miraculous work.

Stop Keeping Score and Embrace Forgiveness

Long-accumulated hurts and grievances can become a heavy weight in a struggling marriage. Maybe you both feel misunderstood or underappreciated, or you’re tangled in a cycle of blame and resentment. Jesus offers another way, calling us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiveness is not denial or pretending everything is fine. Rather, it’s the choice to release the grip of bitterness and entrust justice to the Lord. This doesn’t necessarily erase consequences or instantly restore trust, but it is the door through which healing enters. Remember, forgiveness is a command from Christ, not a feeling. We forgive because He first forgave us, and through His power, we extend that grace—even (and especially) when it is hardest. By letting go of the ledger, you create the possibility of a new chapter.

Fight the Right Battle—Together

When problems mount, it’s easy to see your spouse as the problem. But the Bible reminds us “our struggle is not against flesh and blood…” (Ephesians 6:12). Sometimes, the adversary’s greatest weapon is not a single offense, but the division and isolation that follow. Don’t let him win ground in your marriage. Instead, see the true battle for what it is: a spiritual fight for unity, for the health of your hearts, for your family’s legacy. Take up spiritual weapons—prayer, God’s Word, humility—and lay down the weapons of sarcasm, criticism, or withdrawal. Volunteer to go first in peacemaking; hold up the white flag not of surrender to evil, but surrender to God’s greater purposes. Praying together may feel awkward at first, but it is one of the most powerful ways to invite God into the mess and push back the darkness.

Restore Hope by Replacing Lies with Truth

Despair is often fueled by lies: “We’ll never change.” “God is disappointed in us.” “Love has died.” The enemy is a master at sowing hopelessness. But God’s truth cuts through lies. Scripture promises that “God’s mercies are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22-23), and that His love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:7). No one is beyond God’s reach or redeeming power. Throughout the Bible, God is in the business of restoring the broken: Joseph betrayed and abandoned, Gomer unfaithful to Hosea, the prodigal son welcomed home after squandering everything. Each of these stories reminds us that with God, reconciliation and restoration are always possible, even when human strength is exhausted.

Seek Help and Community

One of the enemy’s most damaging deceptions is the idea that you have to deal with your pain alone. Marriage was never designed to be an isolated endeavor—it thrives in community and with wise counsel. Seek out a Christian counselor or pastor who will listen, challenge, and support you with biblical wisdom. Invite a trusted mentor couple to walk alongside and pray with you. Allow others to bear your burdens and remind you of the promises of God. Sometimes just one godly voice speaking hope or believing in your marriage when you have little strength left can tip the balance toward healing.

Let Christ Transform, Not Just “Fix” Your Marriage

Christ’s goal for your marriage is not just a return to “the good old days.” He wants something deeper and better—a transformation of both partners’ hearts. Surrender the desire for a quick fix and open yourself to a longer journey, where God refines both of you to look more like His Son. The path of restoration will likely include honest confession, repentance, and new habits of love and communication. As you let Him change you, rather than focusing on what your spouse needs to do, you begin to resemble Christ, who “gave Himself up for her [His bride] even when she was at her worst” (Ephesians 5:25). Out of that sacrificial posture, new life grows—sometimes slowly, sometimes in surprising ways.

Practical Steps for Healing

  • Pray—individually and together. Ask God for strength, compassion, and wisdom. Even short, stumbling prayers can shift the spiritual atmosphere and begin to rebuild trust.

  • Commit to small acts of kindness and gratitude. Even when feelings aren’t there, actions can soften hard hearts and remind you both of the good in each other.

  • Refuse to speak words of hopelessness. Instead, pray and speak Scripture over your marriage—verses like Matthew 19:26 (“with God all things are possible”), 1 Corinthians 13 (“love never fails”), and Proverbs 3:5-6 (“trust in the Lord with all your heart”).

  • Choose to stay soft-hearted. Guard against cynicism and hardness, even when the situation seems stuck. God works with humble, teachable hearts.

  • Be patient. True healing is often slow, and the path isn’t always straight. Trust that God is working beneath the surface even when progress feels invisible.

Hope Is Never Out of Reach

No matter your past or the pain you carry, Christian hope is not rooted in the ups and downs of circumstances, but in the character of God Himself. He is the God who brings life from dry bones (Ezekiel 37), who promises to “restore the years the locusts have eaten” (Joel 2:25), and who resurrected Jesus from the grave. The story of your marriage is not finished just because you’re in a season of difficulty. Healing may not look exactly as you imagined, but God is for marriage and stands ready to restore what you place in His hands. Draw near to Him, invite His presence, and take one small step of faith at a time.

“He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:24). Your marriage is never too broken for His healing, no matter how hopeless it may appear. Turn to Him with open hands and hearts, and trust Him to write a new chapter of redemption and grace for your marriage.