Choosing a husband is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. It’s not just about finding someone who makes your heart flutter or who shares your favorite hobbies. Marriage is a lifelong covenant—a partnership designed by God to help both husband and wife become more like Christ. If you’re a Christian woman, you’re probably looking for more than just a companion; you want a man who will love, lead, and walk with you in faith. So, what should you actually look for in a husband? Let’s break it down in a way that’s honest, practical, and rooted in biblical wisdom1.

Start with His Relationship with God

The most important thing to look for in a husband is a man who genuinely loves Jesus. Not just someone who goes to church or knows the right answers, but a man whose faith is real and growing. The Bible is clear about being “equally yoked”—if you want a marriage that honors God and weathers the storms of life, you need a partner who shares your faith.

Ask yourself: Does he seek God? Does he pray, read his Bible, and want to grow spiritually? Is he humble enough to admit when he’s wrong and willing to forgive? A man who puts God first will be able to love you well, because he’s drawing from the ultimate source of love.

Character Over Charisma

Charm and confidence might catch your attention, but character is what keeps a marriage strong. Proverbs 20:6 says, “Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?” Look for a man whose character is solid:

  • Honesty: He tells the truth, even when it’s hard.

  • Integrity: He does what’s right, even when no one is watching.

  • Kindness: He treats people with respect, not just those who can benefit him.

  • Humility: He’s willing to admit his mistakes and ask for help.

  • Faithfulness: He keeps his promises and follows through.

A man of character is trustworthy, dependable, and consistent. If he’s honest in the small things, he’ll be honest in the big things. If he’s kind to strangers, he’ll be kind to you when life gets tough.

Spiritual Leadership

Biblical marriage calls men to lead their families spiritually—not as dictators, but as loving shepherds. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” That’s a high calling! Look for a man who takes his role as a spiritual leader seriously.

Does he pray for you and with you? Does he encourage you to grow in your faith? Is he willing to make tough decisions with wisdom and humility? A good husband leads by example, serving and sacrificing for his wife and family.

Emotional Maturity

Marriage isn’t always easy. Life throws curveballs, and people aren’t perfect. That’s why emotional maturity is so important in a husband. Look for someone who can handle disappointment without falling apart, who doesn’t hold grudges, and who’s willing to work through conflict in a healthy way2.

Is he able to talk about his feelings honestly? Can he apologize when he’s wrong? Does he listen well and try to understand your point of view? Emotional maturity doesn’t mean never having a bad day, but it does mean being able to bounce back, forgive, and keep moving forward together.

A Heart for Service

Marriage is a partnership, and life together is full of opportunities to serve—sometimes in big ways, often in small, everyday moments. Is he willing to put others before himself? Does he look for ways to help, encourage, and support those around him? A servant’s heart isn’t about being a pushover; it’s about having the attitude Jesus had, putting others’ needs ahead of your own.

Watch how he treats his family, friends, and even people he doesn’t know well. Does he jump in to help when someone needs it? Is he generous with his time and resources? These are signs of a man who will be a true partner in marriage, ready to build a life of love and service together.

Shared Values and Vision

It’s important to be on the same page about the big things in life—faith, family, money, children, and priorities. Before you get married, talk openly about your values and dreams. What kind of family do you want to build? How do you want to serve God together? What are your goals for the future?

A good husband is someone who shares your vision and is willing to work alongside you to make it a reality. He doesn’t have to agree with you on every little detail, but you should be united on the things that matter most.

Respect and Support

Ephesians 5 talks about wives respecting their husbands, but respect goes both ways. Look for a man who respects you and others. Does he speak well of people, even when they aren’t around? Does he encourage you, believe in you, and support your dreams?

A supportive husband is your biggest cheerleader, but he’s also honest with you when you need it. He’ll challenge you to grow, hold you accountable, and stand by you when life gets tough. Respect and support are the glue that hold a marriage together through thick and thin.

A Willingness to Grow

No one is perfect, and everyone has room to grow. Look for a man who’s teachable—someone who’s open to learning, willing to admit when he’s wrong, and eager to become more like Christ. A teachable spirit is a sign of humility and maturity, and it will help your marriage thrive.

Ask yourself: Is he willing to work on himself? Does he seek out wise counsel and listen to advice? Is he open to change and growth, both personally and as a couple? A man who’s committed to growing will help you both become the best versions of yourselves.

Physical Attraction Matters—But It’s Not Everything

Let’s be honest—physical attraction is part of the equation. God made us to be attracted to one another, and that’s a good thing! But don’t let looks be the main thing you focus on. Handsomeness fades, but a loving, godly heart lasts a lifetime.

Make sure you’re attracted to him, but don’t let that be the only reason you pursue him. Look deeper. Ask God to help you see him the way He does—valued, loved, and created in His image.

Communication Skills

A healthy marriage is built on good communication. Look for a man who’s willing to talk openly, listen well, and work through disagreements in a respectful way. Can you have honest conversations without fear of judgment or anger? Does he share his thoughts and feelings, and does he listen to yours?

Communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about understanding. A husband who’s a good communicator will help you build a strong, trusting relationship2.

A Sense of Humor

Life is full of surprises, and sometimes the best thing you can do is laugh together. A man with a good sense of humor can help lighten the mood, ease tension, and make everyday life more enjoyable. Can you have fun together? Do you enjoy each other’s company, even when you’re just doing ordinary things?

Shared laughter is one of the best ways to build intimacy and connection in marriage.

A Commitment to Purity

In a world that often downplays the importance of sexual purity, a man who values purity stands out. Look for someone who wants to honor God with his body and his choices. This doesn’t mean he has a perfect past, but it does mean he’s committed to God’s standards for love and intimacy.

Purity is about more than just physical boundaries—it’s about having a heart that seeks to please God in every area of life.

Financial Responsibility

Money isn’t everything, but it does matter. Look for a man who’s wise with his resources, who works hard, and who’s generous. Does he have a plan for his finances? Is he willing to live within his means, save, and give? Financial responsibility is about stewardship—managing what God has given for His glory.

A Heart for Hospitality

A husband who’s warm and welcoming can help create a home that’s a refuge for you, your family, and others. Does he enjoy serving others, opening his home, and making people feel comfortable? Hospitality is a beautiful way to show God’s love to the world, and it starts with a heart that’s open and generous.

Prayerfulness

A praying husband is a powerful blessing. Look for a man who takes his concerns to God, prays for you, and seeks God’s guidance in his decisions. Prayer is the foundation of a strong marriage, and a husband who prays will help keep your relationship anchored in Christ.

Masculinity Rooted in Christ

In today’s world, masculinity is often misunderstood or misrepresented. From a Christian perspective, true masculinity is about strength under control, humility, and sacrificial love3. A godly husband isn’t defined by bravado or dominance, but by his willingness to lead with gentleness and serve with courage.

Look for a man who embraces his God-given role as a husband—not as a dictator, but as a servant leader. He values your femininity, cherishes your differences, and works to build a partnership that honors God.

Final Thoughts: Trust God with Your Search

Finding a husband isn’t about checking off a list of requirements or waiting for perfection. It’s about seeking God’s will, being honest about your own strengths and weaknesses, and looking for a man who will walk with you in faith, love, and partnership.

Pray for wisdom. Ask God to guide your steps and give you discernment. Be patient—God’s timing is always best. And remember, marriage is a journey of growth, grace, and learning together. No one gets it right all the time, but with God at the center, you can build a marriage that lasts.

So, what should you look for in a husband? Look for a man who loves Jesus, has strong character, is emotionally mature, and shares your values and vision. Look for someone who’s willing to grow, communicate, laugh, serve, and pray with you. Most of all, trust God to lead you to the right person, and be the kind of woman who’s ready to love, serve, and honor him in return1.