Your Christian Spouse is Your True Soulmate

In our modern culture, the idea of “soulmates” has become a romantic notion – the belief that there is one perfect person out there destined to complete us and make us whole. Many people dream of finding their soulmate, their “other half”, and live happily ever after. However, this concept of soulmates is not biblical. The Bible never uses the term “soulmate” and the idea of a predestined perfect match is rooted in Greek mythology, not Scripture. As Christians, we need to reject this secular view of soulmates and instead embrace a biblical understanding of marriage and what it means for a husband and wife to truly be soulmates.

Marriage Joins Two into One Flesh

In the beginning, God created marriage as a sacred covenant between one man and one woman. When a couple marries, they are no longer two individuals, but one flesh. As Jesus said, “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). This idea of becoming “one flesh” in marriage is not just a physical union, but a spiritual and emotional one as well. A husband and wife are to be so intimately connected that they function as one unit, with each partner complementing the other. They share their lives, their dreams, their struggles, and their joys together.

Your Spouse is Your Closest Earthly Companion

In this way, your Christian spouse is meant to be your closest earthly companion. They are the one person you are called to love, serve, and do life in a way that no one else can. Your marriage relationship should be the most important human relationship in your life, even above your relationship with your parents. As Ephesians 5:31 states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This doesn’t mean you stop honoring and respecting your parents, but it does mean that your primary loyalty and commitment is now to your spouse. Your spouse is the one you share your deepest secrets with, the one you turn to for support and encouragement. They are the one who knows you better than anyone else and loves you anyway. Your spouse is the one you build a life with, creating a home and family together.

Your Spouse Helps You Grow in Christ

But even more than being your closest earthly companion, your Christian spouse is meant to be the one who helps you grow closest to Christ. Marriage is not just about finding happiness and fulfillment in each other, but about helping each other become more like Jesus. Ephesians 5 makes it clear that marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ’s relationship with the church. Husbands are called to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). Wives are called to submit to and respect their husbands, just as the church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-24). So in a Christian marriage, a husband and wife are to spur each other on in their faith. They are to encourage one another to put Christ first, to live according to biblical principles, and to use their marriage to bring glory to God. They are to be each other’s greatest earthly encouragement in the Christian life.

Your Spouse is Not Perfect, but is Perfectly Suited for You

Now, this doesn’t mean that your Christian spouse will be perfect. They are still a fallen human being, just like you, and will make mistakes and disappoint you at times. But that’s the beauty of a Christian marriage – you get to extend the same grace and forgiveness to your spouse that Christ has extended to you. Your spouse is not your “missing half” or the one person who can complete you. Only God can truly satisfy the deepest longings of your heart. Your spouse is simply the one God has perfectly suited for you to do life with, to grow with, and to serve Him alongside. They are the one He has chosen to be your closest earthly companion and partner in the Christian life.

Choosing to Love Your Spouse

So how do you cultivate this kind of soulmate relationship with your Christian spouse? It starts with choosing to love them, even when the feelings aren’t there. Love in marriage is not primarily an emotion, but a commitment. It’s choosing to put your spouse’s needs before your own, to be faithful and loyal to them no matter what. This kind of love is modeled for us in Christ’s love for the church. He loved us while we were still sinners, while we were unlovable and undeserving (Romans 5:8). He loved us sacrificially, giving up everything for us. And He calls us to love our spouses with that same kind of selfless, unconditional love. It’s choosing to be patient and kind, not envious or boastful. It’s choosing to not be arrogant or rude, to not insist on your own way, to not be irritable or resentful (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). It’s choosing to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things (1 Corinthians 13:7).

Cultivating Intimacy in Your Marriage

As you choose to love your spouse in this way, you will begin to experience the deep intimacy and oneness that God intends for marriage. Intimacy is not just about sex, but about being fully known and fully accepted by your spouse. It’s about being vulnerable and transparent with each other, sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings. Cultivate this kind of intimacy through regular communication, quality time together, and physical affection. Make your marriage a priority, setting aside time each day to connect with each other. Pray together, study the Bible together, and serve the Lord together. Pursue each other romantically, keeping the spark alive in your physical relationship. And when conflicts and difficulties arise, as they inevitably will, choose to work through them together. Seek to understand each other’s perspectives, to forgive and extend grace. Pursue biblical counseling if needed to work through deep hurts or unresolved issues. Commit to sticking with each other through thick and thin, for better or for worse.

Your Marriage is a Picture of Christ’s Love

As you do this, your marriage will become a powerful testimony to the world of Christ’s love for the church. Your love for each other will point people to the sacrificial, unconditional love of Jesus. Your commitment to each other will demonstrate the faithfulness of God. Your unity will reflect the oneness of the Trinity. So embrace the truth that your Christian spouse is your true soulmate. They are the one God has perfectly suited for you, the one you are called to love and serve alongside in this life. Commit to loving them selflessly, growing together in Christ, and using your marriage to bring glory to God. And as you do, you will experience the deep, abiding intimacy and oneness that God intends for marriage.